You Can Cry All You Want To, I Don't Care

"Gee I'm sorry I keep fucking this up but I knew a baby would fuck everything up and....." "You don't fucking get it do you? Yeah I'm kinda upset about that but what I'm most upset about is that you fucking lied to me again and you had an affair to cover it up. Who the fuck does that? What were you going to do when the baby was born? Ignore it completely and never have anything to do with it?" Frank opens his mouth but nothing comes out and he slowly closes it again, looking confused and lost. "Answer me, what was your plan?" Frank continues to just stare blankly so I lash out, reaching out and clenching fistfuls of his shirt as I shake him violently, screaming in his face "Answer me you piece of shit" and Frank seems to snap back to himself and he brings his hands up to gently circle around my wrist and he says "Gee I don't know, I honestly don't know. I'm so fucking scared and overwhelmed about this and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing and you're the only positive thing in my life anymore and I need you, I need you so fucking badly because without you I have nothing, I have no one on my side and...." "You have a baby." "Possibly, we can't tell for sure until she's born and even then if she was her mom probably wouldn't want me to be a part of her life anyway. I need you Gee, my life isn't worth living without you in it." By this point he has broken down into sobs, his whole body shaking with them and I step towards him, letting go of my grip on his shirt to slide my arms around him and he steps even closer and huddles into my chest, his face buried in my neck as he cries.

Once Frank calms down I ask him to apologise to Ian which he does before coming back over to me and he says "Can we please talk about this?" "What more can we say Frank? Are there more secrets and lies you want to reveal?" "No babe I...." "No I'm done playing games Frank, we'll talk but I swear you better tell me every little thing you're hiding from me and lying about because if I find out anything else after today you'll never see or hear from me again." Frank swallows hard as he nods and the rest of the guys excuse themselves and leave, closing the door behind themselves and we are left alone in the practice space. "You wanna sit down?" Frank asks, gesturing to the couch and I walk over and sit on one end, turning my body to face Frank as he sits at the opposite end facing me. We stare at each other in silence before I break it by saying "I'm giving you the chance right now to air it all out, if there is anything else you want to confess to do it right now." Frank nods and remains silent for a few long seconds before saying "I actually knew you were in the city before we met up at the club that night." "How?" "I saw you on the street one afternoon and I followed you, you were with Patrick and I followed you back to campus and then the next day I spent stalking you around, watching you move from class to class and then that night I went home and jacked off to you." "You know that's really fucking creepy right?" "Yeah, but when I saw you I couldn't help myself, I was too afraid to approach you so I just watched and I couldn't believe I was seeing you again." I nod and remain silent and it looks like Frank doesn't have anything else to say so I ask "Anything else?" "Sometimes in the middle of the night I wake up just to watch you sleep. You look so beautiful when you're all peaceful and sleepy, I could watch you sleep for days, the way your eyes twitch slightly below the lids as you dream and the way your lips move ever so slightly and the sound of you slowly inhaling and exhaling, it just makes me feel so warm inside." I don't know what to say to that so I remain silent, just staring at Frank and he smiles softly but it looks so out of place with his red puffy eyes and his skin seems to have lost all it's colour. "You can't sweet talk your way out of this you know." "I'm not trying, I don't think that little of you to think it would be that easy, I know it won't be." "Anything else you want to tell me?" Frank remains silent and after a few seconds he shakes his head and I sigh before saying "You want me to forgive you right?" He nods, remaining silent and I ask "Why should I forgive you? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't walk out of here right now and never have to see your lying, cheating scum bag face again." Frank swallows hard before opening his mouth and he says "No one will ever love you like I do Gee, I would do anything for you. You mean more to me than anything and if it wouldn't freak you out I would literally worship you, you really have no idea just how much I love you because I'm really not good with words and saying I love you doesn't even come close. Every time you walk into a room it feels like my heart is trying to burst out of my chest and every time you look at me I feel like I'm going to vomit from all the butterflies flapping around in my stomach, I get goosebumps every time you touch me and sometimes when I randomly hug you or reach out to hold your hand, it's just because I need to make sure you're really there and I'm not hallucinating because I know deep down that I don't deserve you, you could do so much better than me but I'm not ashamed to say I'm selfish and I want you to settle for me." "Why would you not just tell me about the baby? Why keep fucking Jake?" "I was scared about how you would take the news and Jake called me a couple of weeks ago and threatened me and blackmailed me into it." "Do you honestly think I would be less upset with the option you chose instead of just telling me? I'm not even all that upset about the baby, I'm fucking devastated about the lying and cheating yet again. How much more am I meant to take from you Frank?" "What do I have to do Gee? I'll do anything and I mean anything for you to come home." I let out another sigh before standing up and saying "You'll hear from me, maybe" walking from the room as Frank watches me go, silent tears streaming down his face.

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