You're Not In This Alone

Brendon and Ryan slowly guide me over to the couch, easing me down and I slide into Ryan's lap, burying my face in his neck as I continue to cry and I hear Liz's friend say "Wow, what a fucking psycho." I slowly get my breathing under control again, my tears slowly stopping and I keep my face buried in Ryan's neck until I'm fully calm again and once I'm ok I sit back and I see that Liz and the girl are no longer in the room as well as the rest of the band, only Ryan and Brendon here with me. "I'm sorry I disturbed your practice" I say softly to Brendon and he shakes his head as he reaches out and grips my hand and says "Fuck the practice, are you alright?" "I wanna go home." "Ok babe, come on I'll take you home" Ryan says softly and he helps me up, standing with me and Brendon stands with us, giving me one last hug before we leave. Once we're out on the street again Ryan wraps his arm around my waist, keeping me tucked into his side as we start walking back towards dad's apartment and when we get there I pull away from Ryan's side and go into the living room, seeing dad on the couch watching tv and I cross the room to him, climbing into his lap and curling up against his chest, his arms wrapping around me and he lets out a soft sigh before saying "You ok baby girl?" I nuzzle against his shoulder as I softly say "I just want it to stop hurting daddy" and he starts rubbing his hand up and down my thigh as we sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, the tv on low in the background until Sophie starts to cry and I climb out of his lap, heading for the bedroom. When I get to the bedroom Ryan is laying on the bed with Sophie in his arms as she cries and I walk over and hold my arms out for her. Ryan smiles at me before handing her over and once she's in my arms I stare down at her little face and she stares back at me, her tears stopping and she hiccups softly as she locks eyes with me, a small smile pulling at her lips. "Hey beautiful girl, mommy missed you today" I say softly and she lets out a little gurgle as she reaches out for my face. After I change Sophie's diaper I get her a bottle and settle on the bed beside Ryan, sitting against the headboard and feeding her while Ryan lays with his eyes closed, a small smile spread across his face. By the time Sophie has finished her bottle Ryan is snoring softly so I shift around to lay down beside him, laying Sophie on her stomach on my chest and I pull faces at her, making her squeak and smile and babble while she reaches out to grab at my face and hair. After a while she lets out a small yawn and her eyes start to droop so I pull the blanket over us, shifting closer to Ryan's sleeping body for warmth and I gently stroke Sophie's back until her breathing evens out and she falls asleep curled up on my chest and I let my own eyes slip closed.

I wake up a few hours later and Sophie is still curled up on my chest, Ryan and her both awake now and Ryan is laying on his side facing us, singing softly to her while she stares at him wide eyed. "Hey baby" he says softly when he notices my eyes are open and I smile as he leans in to kiss me. "Hey" I say back when we pull apart and Ryan picks Sophie up, hopping out of bed and offering me his hand. "Dinner should be almost ready, are you hungry?" I nod and let out a soft yawn before saying "I'll be there in a minute." "Ok baby" he says before leaving the room, Sophie making a small displeased noise and I hear Ryan chuckle before saying "Yeah it's alright mommy will be right out, she's not going anywhere" as he disappears down the hall. I shift around in bed and stretch right out, hearing some of my joints pop and I slump into the mattress, feeling a lot better than I have in the last few days before dragging myself out of bed and grabbing one of Ryan's sweaters off the back of the chair near the closet, pulling it on and inhaling his scent as I make my way out of the room, going to the kitchen where dad and Ryan are sitting with Sophie while Pa finishes up what he's cooking, Sophie instantly squealing and reaching out for me when she sees me and I smile as I cross the room to take her into my arms again.

Notes