You're Not In This Alone

The next morning when I wake up I'm in bed alone and I drag myself up feeling a little nauseas and stumble into the bathroom, splashing water on my face and rinsing my mouth out and when I step back into the hall I hear a soft babbling and I step into Sophie's room, seeing her sitting up in her crib and her face lights up when she sees me and I quickly cross the room to pick her up, cuddling her to my chest as I check her diaper, changing her before we make our way out to the living room where I find Dad and Pa sitting with Ryan and when we walk into the room they go silent and I immediately know they were talking about me. "What?" I snap and they all look at me and none of them say a word. "If you're talking about me have the balls to say it to my face" I snap, feeling irrationally angry that they're talking about me and Ryan sighs as Pa says "That's enough, don't speak like that infront of Sophie" and I roll my eyes at him and snap "Oh she doesn't know what I'm saying. Are you saying I'm a bad parent?" "See what I mean?" Ryan says and I turn my head to glare at him. "What is that supposed to mean?" "You've been moody and irrational and sick recently and you're always tired but you refuse to see a doctor...." "And that stops today because you're going whether you like it or not" Dad says, cutting Ryan off and I turn my glare onto him. "I'm fine, I'm the mother of a seven month old, I'm allowed to be tired and when I'm tired I get moody, get off my case." "Baby girl it's more than that, I can see it's more than that" Pa says softly as he steps towards me and wraps his arms around my waist, Sophie reaching out and grabbing a fistful of his hair and letting out a little giggle as she tugs on it.

Two hours later Pa and Ryan have dragged me into a doctors office while Dad had taken Sophie to the guitar store with him and I sit in the waiting room between them, my arms folded across my chest as I sulk and Ryan laughs at me and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his side and he leans in and whispers in my ear "If you stop pouting I'll make it worth your while later when we get home" before pulling away and winking at me and I stick my tongue out at him but I'm interrupted by the doctor calling my name. Once I step into the office the doctor gestures for me sit and then asks me about my symptoms and when I tell him he says "Are you sexually active?" "Yes" I tell him, looking down at my feet and he says "Ok Ruby I'd like you to give me a urine sample and I'm going to perform a pregnancy test." At his words I pale, feeling my heart start to race again and I reluctantly take the cup, heading to the bathroom before heading back to the office with the sample and the doctor performs the test which comes out positive. "Congratulations Ruby, you're going to be a mother..." "Again" I add, my voice cracking and the doctor frowns and says "Are you alright?" "I can't have another child, Sophie's only six months old and I'm only eighteen and I can't.....I don't want...:" and the walls start closing in on me, my vision going black and I pass out, panic overtaking everything and forcing me into unconsciousness.

When I wake up again I am on an exam table in the doctors office, Pa and Ryan sitting in chairs nearby and the doctor is gone. "Rubes" Ryan says as he stands up and rushes to my side, gripping my hand in his and I stare into his eyes as he smiles and says "We're having a baby" and when I hear the words come from his mouth they surprisingly don't bring the utter panic I felt before when the doctor said them, I even manage to smile back at him and Pa rushes over and pulls me into his arms.

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