You're Not In This Alone

Three days later I have my first day back at school and both pa and dad leave the apartment before me, reassuring me I'll be ok and to call them if I need to. I am very nervous as I leave the apartment, pulling at my clothes as I walk down and out of the building, my bag slung over my shoulder and when I walk outside Ryan is sitting on the edge of the garden out the front. "Hey" he greets me, smiling wide as he stands up and walks over to me. We share a soft slow kiss before pulling apart and I say "What are you doing here?" "I know you're more nervous about your first day back than you admit so I thought it might help if I walked you there." "Thank you" I tell him, hugging him before we pull apart and join hands, walking towards my school. When we get there out goodbye lingers, Ryan trying to convince me that I'll be fine and me really not wanting to go in there alone. "You'll be ok Rubes" he tells
me, gently cupping my face in his hands. "I'll have my phone on me all day so if you need anything at all you can call me, and I'll be right here waiting when you finish at 2.30 if you'd like." I nod frantically, stepping in for one last hug before I pull away and take a deep breath, walking into the school, Ryan watching me the whole time until I go inside the building. I make it through most of the day alright but when I walk into my last class one of the popular girls comes over to me and says "Is it true you're dating Ryan Ross?" I nod and she says "Oh my god he's so dreamy, he only graduated from here two years ago, he's so talented. Is he good in bed?" "I....I don't know." "What are you, some kind of frigid bitch?" I stand there staring at her, not knowing what to say as I feel myself get very upset. "I really don't know what he sees in someone like you, he's so out of your league honey" she tells me before walking back over to her friends and I take my seat, her words screaming in my head the whole lesson, making me unable to concentrate. When the bell rings for the end of the day I grab my stuff and push past everyone in the hallway in my haste to get out of the building. When I get outside I rush out the front gates, almost running, my head down as I feel my bottom lip quiver and when I eventually look up I see Ryan sitting on the bench nearby. I take a step towards him but the girl from class pushes past me and walks over to him, sitting on the bench next to him and crossing her legs, tilting her whole body towards him as she starts to talk to him, playing with her hair and he smiles at her as he talks back. I feel a lump in my throat as I realise that maybe he is out of my league and I turn to walk the other way when I hear him call my name. I turn back and he's looking past the girl, staring at me with a confused look on his face and I walk over and say "I'm kinda tired, I'm gonna head home." "I'll walk you" he tells me, standing up and I say "It's ok, you don't have to." "No, Rubes" he says before pausing and turning to the girl who's still sitting on the bench watching us. "It was nice to meet you Jess" he throws her way before stepping over and sliding his hand in mine, walking down the street with me. "Are you alright?" He asks and I shrug as we keep walking and he stops me, moving around to stand infront of me and his hands come up to grab my upper arms. "Ruby talk to me, what's wrong?" "That girl back there told me you're way out of my league and she's right, you should be with someone more like her, someone pretty and thin and who isn't completely fucked up." "Ruby that's so fucking stupid. You're the one who's out of my league. You're so beautiful and you have a perfect body and actually I think you're completely perfect and you're everything I want and more. Don't listen to dumb bitches like that." My gaze drops to the ground before I look back up at his face and he leans in, pressing his lips to mine as his hands move up to run through my hair. "You're amazing Ruby, the most amazing and beautiful person I've ever met, inside and out, and I'm so lucky to have met you and that you let me be a part of your life is nothing short of incredible." He kisses me again and when we pull apart he takes my hand and we start walking again. "Are you really tired?" "A little but not really" I tell him and he smiles over at me as he says "Would you mind coming to my studio with me for a little while? I could really use your help with something." "Ok" I tell him and we cross the street, heading towards his studio. When we get there I dump my bag by the door and he walks over to a large canvas on an easel, taking the protective sheet off it and I gasp in shock, seeing me on the canvas. "I hope you don't mind but, your face was stuck in my mind and I just picked up a brush and....there's a few details I'm not quite sure of so I was wondering if you'd mind modelling for me while I finish." "Uh, yeah sure ok" I ramble out, letting him take my hand and lead me over to the stool near his painting. I sit down and get comfortable and he steps back saying "I promise I won't take long, just keep your face natural." I take a deep breath, focusing my gaze on him as I try my best to keep my face still, Ryan picking up a brush and getting to work. Fifteen minutes later he steps back from the canvas with a huge smile on his face before sitting down his brush and walking over, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to my lips. "Thank you." He tells me and I smile wide as I say "It's ok, can I see it again?" "Of course" he tells me, taking my hand and helping me up. When I see it for the second time I smile wide and say "You're so talented Ry." I feel his arms wrap around me from behind and his chin rests on my shoulder as he leans in and whispers "Thanks but it's easy when I'm painting something so perfect" in my ear and I turn my head to kiss him again. "So I'm putting together the last of my pieces for the display at the gallery next week and I was wondering....could I use this?" "It's your painting" I tell him and he smiles as he says "But it's of you and if it would make you uncomfortable in any way at all I wouldn't even dream of using it." "It's ok, really I'm fine with it. People deserve to see how truly talented you are." "Thanks Ruby" he tells me as he steps away from me and starts to clean up his brushes at the sink in the corner before dropping them in a glass jar to soak. "So now that I'm done what would you like to do for the rest of the afternoon?" "Do you want to go back to my place? Or we could go to yours?" "Uh yeah sure, I have a roommate though, so if you'd be more comfortable we could go to yours." "Oh, well I'd like to see your place but if you'd rather we can just go..." "No we can go to mine, it's alright" he cuts me off, smiling at me and I smile back, grabbing my bag as we walk out the door.

When we reach Ryan's apartment we go in and I can hear loud noises of someone playing video games coming from a tv and a loud voice yells out "Oh I so fucked you up." I follow Ryan into the living room to see a dark haired guy sitting on the couch playing an Xbox, a headset on that he's shouting more obscenities into. Ryan leans over the back of the couch and tugs the headset off his head, causing him to scream rather girlishly and jump, almost falling off the couch. He spins around and says "Ryan you fucker you almost gave me a heartatta.....who's that?" His gaze falling on me. "This is my girlfriend Ruby and while she's over it would be really nice if you kept the noise and swearing to a minimum." "Oh, right, sorry. Hey I'm Brendon." "Hi, nice to meet you" I say softly, feeing just a little uncomfortable with the way he's staring at me. We all stare at each other in silence for a few seconds before Ryan takes my hand and says "How about I show you to rest of the apartment?" I nod and smile at him, grateful to get away from Brendon's stare as we leave the room, Ryan showing me around before offering me a drink and we go back into his bedroom, closing the door and I walk over and sit on the end of his bed. "So, sorry about him, he's a little..." "No he's ok, it's his house." Ryan smiles at me as he says "You're so amazing Rubes" before leaning in and kissing me. I kiss back and pretty soon we are laying on his bed, side by side, slowly making out, his hands wandering up and down my side and back but never going lower than my hip. When we break apart for air he says "Ruby would you like to stay the night?" I freeze before sitting up as I choke out "Ry....I'm not....I don't think I can...." "Oh no no no Ruby I didn't mean.....I wasn't asking to do that I just thought it would be nice to sleep in the same bed and be able to cuddle. I'm sorry I didn't mean to imply..." "No I'm sorry I completely just jumped to conclusions" I tell him as I sigh in relief. He reaches out and touches my hand and I smile over at him as I say "That would be really nice but I kinda agreed with my dad's about not doing that and..." "I totally understand that" he tells me, looking a little disappointed so I quickly add "Maybe we could do it at my place instead? Would that be ok? I mean I'd have to check with my dad's and all but..." "I'd really like that" he tells me and we share another slow soft kiss before I add "I have nightmares sometimes, pretty bad ones. I just thought you should know incase you don't wanna.." "It's ok, I understand that you would." "Ok so I'm just gonna ring my dad and ask..." "Yeah sure, I'm just gonna be in the living room with Bren so come out whenever you're ready." We share one last small kiss before he gets up and leaves the room and I grab my phone, calling Pa. "Hey baby girl, everything ok? How was your first day?" "Yeah I'm ok, it was alright. Pa I need to ask you something." "You can ask me anything baby, what do you need?" "I was....I'm at Ryan's apartment with him and he asked me if I wanted to stay the night and I told him I couldn't but I was wondering if maybe he could stay at our house instead?" Pa sighs before saying "Ruby sweety I really don't know if that's such a good idea and I'm sure your dad would agree. Are you sure that's what you want? Are you really ready for that? Don't let him talk you into things you're not sure of..:" "I'm sure pa and it's not for that reason, I'm nowhere near ready for that and I'm not sure if I'll ever be...." "Ok, sorry I jumped to conclusions. You're a smart girl Ruby and if you think you're ready for Ryan to sleep over then I'll allow it, but if tonight goes badly in any way at all there won't be a second chance. And I still expect you to go to school on time tomorrow." "I will, thanks pa." "I'll see you when I get home later. Love you Rubes." "Love you pa" I tell him before hanging up and walking out into Ryan's living room, finding him and Brendon on the couch playing a game against each other. I walk over and sit on the couch beside Ryan and watch him play until the round is over and he sits the controller down and turns to face me. "He said it's ok." "Great. Are you sure you want me to?" "Positive" I tell him, smiling reassuringly at him and he smiles back before saying "Ok give me two seconds and I'll be back." Ryan leaves the room, leaving me alone with Brendon who's eyes are fixed on my stocking covered thigh where my skirt ends. I slide my hand down and tug on the bottom of the skirt, trying to pull it down more and his eyes rake up my body and he shoots me a dirty smirk as he says "Cute uniform. Bet Ry can't wait to tear that off you later" winking at me and I feel my breath hitch in my throat as he slides closer to me on the couch. I stand up so fast my head spins and I almost fall down as I stumble backwards, trying to flee the room while Brendon stares at me confused and I take another step back, colliding with something solid and arms wrap around my waist and I scream, trying to fight the arms off before Ryan's soft voice says "Ruby it's ok it's just me." And I turn in his arms, flinging myself into his chest, my hands clenching in the back of his shirt as I pant into his neck, a few tears escaping my eyes. "What happened?" Ryan asks and Brendon says "Jesus I just complimented her on her uniform, is she crazy or something?" "No she's a rape victim you fucking idiot" Ryan spits back and the room falls silent aside from my loud shaky breaths. "Oh, fuck I'm so sorry, I honestly had no idea" Brendon says, sounding upset and Ryan's hand gently rubs up and down my back as he whispers soothing things in my ear. When my breathing returns to normal we pull apart and Ryan gently wipes my cheeks dry before saying "Are you ok?" I nod slightly and Brendon says "Ruby I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." "It's ok" I mumble out softly before saying to Ryan "I wanna go home." "Yeah of course I'll take you right now Rubes. Do you still want me to stay?" I nod my head and he smiles as he picks up his small bag and my school bag, slinging them over his shoulder before taking my hand. "I'm staying at Ruby's so I'll be back tomorrow Bren" Ryan says and Brendon says "Cool, have a good time kids." We leave the apartment hand in hand, walking the six blocks to my apartment and going inside, going straight into my bedroom where I collapse on the bed as Ryan sits our bags in the corner before joining me and pulling me into his arms and I go willingly, curling into his chest. "I'm sorry about Bren, he can be a real dick sometimes and...." "It's ok, can you just hold me for a while?" "Sure baby, anything you need" he says before falling quiet and my stomach flutters as he calls me baby for the first time and I let my eyes drift close, just listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

Notes

Wow so this ended up being a long ass chapter...I hope that's not due to my rambling (I apologise to anyone I put to sleep with the length and content of this chapter)