You're Not In This Alone

I wake up and my whole head feels like it's throbbing. I let out a small whimper and warm soft hands gently touch my arm and I panic, flinching hard as my eyes snap open only to come face to face with pa. "Easy baby girl it's just me" he says softly and I feel my chest ache as I start to cry like a baby. Pa gently slides onto the bed with me and cuddles me into his chest and I cling to him as he rubs my back and whispers to me that I'm safe with him. "Daddy, they....they" I choke out and he tightens his hold on me as he says "I know baby I know and I'm so sorry baby girl" his voice breaking as he starts to cry too. We lay in my hospital bed sobbing our eyes out as we hold each other close and when pa calms down he holds me close and strokes my hair until I calm down too. "I'm sorry I snuck out" I tell him and he shakes his head at me. "Don't worry about that" he tells me and I nuzzle my face into his neck, breathing in his familiar comforting scent. "It hurts" I whimper after a while and pa says "Alright baby I'll get a nurse ok, they can give you something." I feel myself panic and as he goes to get off the bed I grab a fistful of the back of his shirt, not letting him go. "Ruby I'll be right back, no one will hurt you I promise." After thinking about it for a second I reluctantly release his shirt from my grip and he leans down and kisses my forehead. "I'll be right back" he tells me before disappearing out the door. The second he's gone from my sight I feel panic and fear set in and I convince myself that Matt and James are hiding in the corner behind the door and I start to scream, cowering in fear on the bed and praying pa comes back before they can get me. Pa comes running back into the room with a doctor and two nurses following him and I launch myself off the bed and into his arms, a sharp pain ripping through my hand and a few seconds later I see blood running down my arm as I cling to pa's shirt, shaking and whimpering. Pa slowly sinks to the floor, taking me with him and he pulls me into his lap, rocking me back and forth gently like he used to when I was little as he says "Oh Rubes baby it's alright I promise. I've got you, I'm sorry I went away." "Daddy" I sob out, feeling like the only person who can protect me from them is him. "Shh daddy's got you, it's all gonna be ok." The doctor comes over and kneels beside us and I flinch further into pa's chest. "It's alright baby" pa whispers into my ear as the doctor slowly reaches out and takes my hand, cleaning up the blood which is now staining my gown and pa's shirt. "This is gonna need a stitch. Ruby we need you to be careful sweety, ripping out your iv can cause some serious damage to your hand." I nod vaguely, his words not really registering with me.

Three days later the doctor lets me go home and dad takes me, pa having an emergency at the gallery. When we get there I lay down on the couch and dad puts in a cheesy b grade horror movie before coming over and climbing over me, laying down between me and the back of the couch, pulling me back into his chest, his arm wrapped around my waist and I bite my trembling bottom lip, trying to hold back the tears that want to fall. I relax back into dad's chest and watch the movie, feeling safe in his arms and by the time it's half over I feel myself falling asleep. When I wake up dad is still laying on the couch with me, snoring softly into my hair and pa is sitting in the recliner across the room, his sketch book in his lap, the pencil rapidly moving across the page. I remain silent, just watching him concentrate as he draws and a minute later he looks up and sees that I'm awake. "Hey baby girl" he whispers, sitting his sketch book aside and crossing the room, kneeling infront of me. His hand comes up to gently stroke my hair. "How are you feeling?" he asks and I say "I'm ok." "You hungry?" He asks and I nod before slowly sliding out from dad's arms, pa helping me up and we walk into the kitchen hand in hand. "Sit down" pa tells me as he goes to the fridge, pulling out some leftover lasagne and putting it in the microwave. He sits the plate infront of me, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head before taking a seat beside me. I slowly pick at the lasagne as I say "What were you drawing?" "You and dad" he tells me and I smile a little before saying "Can I see?" Pa smiles back at me and says "I guess you could" standing up and leaving the room. When he comes back he hands me the book and I take it, looking at the near perfect picture of me and dad asleep on the couch. "This is good" I tell him and he leans in and pecks my cheek. "Thanks baby" he tells me and I smile a little wider at him as I hand the book back. We sit in comfortable silence while I eat about half of what's on the plate before I lose interest in eating it and I push the plate away. Pa sighs, knowing that I've barely eaten in the last three days but I just can't stomach much at the moment, but he doesn't say anything. "I'm gonna lay down" I tell him, standing up and going into my room, climbing into bed and just staring at the wall, feeling my skin crawl and my stomach churn, memories of that night flooding back through my mind.

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