Well, I can explain what happened to my faith.

And my jaw dropped.

Could it be possible that this was the wrong house? But Frank said it was the one with the number 7 engraved on the door.

There stood, in a Misfits black T-shirt and faded jean shorts with dishevelled auburn locks, the epitome of perfection.

I couldn't believe my fucking eyes.... could it be? Caméllia? I gawked while she just stood there with a PokerFace. Then I felt as if my ears too had deceived me. Black Veil Brides was blaring out of the speakers. I just HAD to do a double take.

My eyes felt like they could drop out from their sockets anytime. And my lips parted slightly when my eyes looked into those eyes... those same chocolate brown eyes... and I registered that it was indeed her. Either I was in an alternate universe right now or this is all just a dream.

Her PokerFace was marred when a sudden grin spread across her rosy lips, exposing her pearly whites, "ha! The look on your face!" I couldn't speak. But retained the same demeanour. How could it be possible? No way. Never in my wildest nightmares had I imagined that THE Caméllia Jordan... was just like... me?

I NEVER saw THIS coming. She stepped aside, allowing me entrance, "now don't keep standing there like a dumb mannequin. Come on in, I don't bite." I just nodded dumbly as if still in a trance, and followed what she said. She turned to walk back inside without waiting for me. I clicked the door shut and tried to follow where she was heading.

I know I was acting like a fucking puppy. But at the moment, my mind couldn't register what was going on. She went in- what appeared to be the kitchen and pointed to a room, "Oh you can go sit in the living room. Make yourself at home or whatever shit you want." Again, I did as she said without uttering a word.

I entered a quite dimly lit room, which was supposed to be the 'living room' and made myself comfortable on the couch. I closed my eyes again and breathed in and out a few times, before opening my eyes to take in the surroundings. If there were unanswered questions before, then there were a lot more now. But somehow I felt calmer than before.

The couch I was sitting on was more than comfortable. There was a plasma screen on the wall opposite the couch. The walls were a mild cream and the whole room was carpeted. You could call it plush. The room looked homely, and even in the dim light, I could see the family photographs hanging on a wall.

There were some- of the whole family together... which seemed to consist of the parents and their daughter. Ray had told me that she didn't have a sibling. Then there were photos of her childhood.

Oh my god.... she was just so awfully cute!!!! Aww... those chubby cheeks! ............ I know I should stop fangirling right now... because- Ah! I know it's weird. Those photographs seemed to have been taken when she was really young. And surprisingly there weren't any photos from her recent years.

I hadn't even noticed that the music had been blaring loudly this whole time. Sleepwalking by Bring Me The Horizon was playing right now. I heard soft humming coming out of the kitchen. "Your eyes are swallowing me. Mirrors start to whisper, shadows start to sing. My skin is smothering me. Help me find a way to breathe... Time stands still, the way it did before, it's like I'm sleepwalking...." Wow... that was good.

Just then she spoke, "Hey Gerard, um...could you help me in here a bit?" For the first time, I observed the sudden change in her behavior. She was actually being nice right now. I replied with a "sure" before standing up and making my way into the kitchen. As soon as I entered, I was greeted with a mouth watering aroma.

I didn't realise I had my eyes closed, until she grinned, "Looks like you already like it?" I opened my eyes and grinned back at her. She seemed to have been setting up the plates. I wonder where her parents were though. I looked around aimlessly. She said, as if answering my silent question, "Oh... my parents aren't home. They're gonna stay out of town for the weekends as well"

I gave her a small smile with a nod. She must have guts to stay all by herself in such a huge house. Because I definitely would've freaked out. Plus, I bet if it were not for the loud music, then it would've been awfully silent. She had kept the curtains closed and not much light was able to enter inside either. She casually spoke, "just carry these glasses," handing me two with water filled up to the brim.

It sounded pretty easy, but I knew how hard I had to try to not spill the water and screw up. I carried them to the living room and placed each one on the small table in front of the settee. As soon as I sat back on the couch, that same aroma filled the room, accompanied by a beaming Caméllia. She placed two plate fulls of spaghetti on that same table, before going over to the stereo and turning it off.

When she returned, I gave her a confused look. Did she really want me to eat as well? Duh. Idiot. But she ignored it and turned around the same instant, then turned the T.V. on and grabbed the remote. Then she made her way back to the couch and took a seat at least 20 centimetres away from me. I still looked at her with confusion.

She said with a straight face, "Yes, this is for you too. Now shut up and dig in." 'Shut up'? Hey, I didn't even speak in the first place. I opened my mouth to protest, but was almost taken aback when a spoonful of spaghetti was shoved into my mouth. Then she started zapping through the channels. Without having any other choice, I started chewing dumbly.

But then there was like this sudden explosion of flavours on my taste buds and as soon as I gulped down, I just couldn't help but let out a "Holy fucking mother of pancakes!" Okay, now that might've been a bit too loud, I'll admit. But the look on her face was priceless, when she jumped in her seat at my exclamation!

She blinked and gave me an annoyed look, "Pancakes? Seriously?" And the next second she doubled over into laughter. Her almost melodious laughter echoed through the room, and I couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed. I don't even know why....I frowned slightly, "you don't like them?"

Her laughter died down slowly and she smiled, "Nah. I do. I love em'. Now tell me what was THAT about?" I whined, "oh- it's just- you know... kinda insane! That now you can cook AS WELL! It's not fair!" She shook her head and sighed, "Life isn't fair." I didn't know what to say next so I just asked the dumbest question I could think of, "Aren't there supposed to be meatballs in it?"

She replied, "yeah-that. I don't eat red meat- any sort of. So..." She started stuffing her mouth as well, while continuing zapping through the channels. Then suddenly she stopped and her face seemed to light up. I shoved some in my mouth and muttered while chewing, "What's that?" She grinned, "Sponge Bob." I spoke, still with a mouthful, "Huh? What Bob?" She rolled her eyes, "ugh. Shut up and just watch, you'll see."

*15 minutes later*

God... it was delicious! Even though I'd never really had eaten spaghetti without meatballs before, it still tasted amazing. I wonder how she made it taste this good.... I hadn't even realized I was this hungry, until half of my plate was empty within 5 minutes. I looked at her plate and hers was in a similar condition as mine. I grinned, thinking I wouldn't have to be embarrassed for stuffing myself so quick, after all.
She had caught me looking at her, but she didn't snap.

Instead she grinned, "well, what can I say? I'm a sucker for food!" I grinned back, "I hate to admit it- but dang! This is really good." She beamed at me sweetly..... and I swear I melted right there. No, hold yourself Gerard. Get your thoughts together.

This "Sponge Bob" thingy was actually good. It was even quite funny. We had been laughing hysterically the whole time it aired. It was actually even more good to see her laugh and smile so heartily. By this time we had finished eating and Caméllia had carried the plates and cutleries back to the kitchen. I sat there with my head laid back, resting on the couch and my mind thinking about nothing in particular.

For some odd unknown reason, I felt my lips curl up into a smile. I don't even know.... but I felt so.... I don't know how to describe it, but I'd just say... contented. Just then I realised that I still hadn't received my answers. I got so caught up that I actually forgot the reason why I came here. So as soon as she got back, I turned to face her. She frowned, "what's wrong?"

I gave her a sad smile, "Caméllia, I'm confused... I just- I wanna know. I wanna know everything.... please, you can trust me. I know you probably think I don't care and shit, but trust me when I say... I do." I can't believe I actually said that. There was silence. I continued, "Stop bottling it all up, Caméllia. Don't shut me off. You might disagree but I know how it feels... I've been through that phase. I too did that to myself. And I don't want you to do it to yourself... at least not you, of all the persons."

I paused waiting for her reaction- any reaction. Her head was bowed down and she seemed to be looking on her hands placed on her lap, with a blank expression. From the side, I saw that her eyes just stared down without blinking. But then I noticed something.... and my heart broke right there. A teardrop.... on her hands, which she had been staring at for so long.

Then a few more... and then she blinked hard. I didn't speak anymore, I felt too bad for her. Why was she crying? I had never seen her like this before... so broke, so fragile. For the first time, I stopped listening to my brain, and did what my heart told me to. Without even me realising, my arms had reached out to pull her into a side hug.

She didn't protest, instead she let me and the tears turned into sobs. I tightened my embrace around her protectively and the next thing I knew, she had buried her head into my chest... and it turned into a complete breakdown. She cried, and she cried and she kept crying... for what seemed like an eternity.

I let her, because I knew she had to get it out. She had to. I caressed her back. Her cries were getting louder, and I didn't even notice that she had been clutching onto me tightly this whole time. Her small arms had flung around me, gripping on to me for dear life. I caressed her head as she cried, into my now wet T-shirt. Though I could care less about the T- shirt right now.

It honestly broke my heart to see her like this, but I just kept silent. I wanted her to let go. Let go of whatever it was she was so upset about... let it all go along with those tears. Because I believe that... sometimes it's okay to cry your eyes out. It takes off some weight off of your shoulders. Then I heard her sob uncontrollably, and though her voice was muffled, I heard her loud and clear, "Words hurt, Gerard... Words hurt. More than any blade or knife."

And I felt myself stiffen. I spoke, almost out of breath, "C-Cam.. d-did I-I-" I was cut off when she unwillingly pulled away a little to look up at me with those glistening doe eyes. She had a pained look on her face and I hate to admit it.... but she looked even more cute when she cried. She spoke barely above a whisper, "n-no... it's not you...i-it's..."

Before I knew it, I leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead and comfortingly rubbed her back. She closed her eyes and breathed in and out slowly. I murmured, "It's okay..." Once again she buried her head in my chest, but this time with a much greater force, and louder sobs. "No, it's not. I'm not!" She cried.

God... I couldn't see her like this anymore. She needed to stop crying... because I don't know what I'd do, if she didn't. I grabbed her gently by her shoulders and slightly pulled her up so that she could face me. And the second I looked into those doe eyes, glistening with tears, I felt a pang inside my heart. I cupped her cheeks with my hands.

She closed her eyes and with that some stray tears stained her cheeks, some even wetting my fingers. I wiped away all of them carefully. She still had her eyes closed with a pained expression and I connected our foreheads. Her breathing started to become regular and she sniffed every 10th second. She heaved a deep sigh before relaxing a bit.

And I dared to open my mouth to speak, "now tell me..." She slowly pulled away, opening her eyes and pulled her legs close to her chest.

Notes

Okay so thank you for reading this. It really means a lot.
Much love