*After Art*

I had finally succeeded to gain my courage back. So I had been waiting for the class to be over. I knew she usually left late, mostly when the class room would be already empty. So I decided to wait for her. Soon everybody was gone, with only Mr. Wentz shuffling through his paperwork and Caméllia and I, putting stuff back into our bags.

She didn't bother looking around to see if anyone was still there, she just grabbed her bag pack and paced towards the door. I quietly, almost stealthily followed her. Once entering the hallway, I fastened my pace to catch up to her. Her tiny frame, clad in a floral knee length frock which seemed to have become a trademark for her, slowed it's pace.

I was just a few steps behind. Her auburn wavy locks had been neatly tucked into a pony tail. Sometimes... just sometimes... I think she's so cute....

What the fuck did you just say Gerard Way?! Are you crazy? Isn't she supposed be the one you hate?

......that came out wrong.

Wow! I applaud you! Great, now the next thing you'll say is that you have a crush on her as well!

No, I don't! I said that came out wrong, okay?! Would you just give me a fucking break?!

..........*sigh*............I don't even know what would happen to a moron like you.

I don't fucking need your opinion.

..............good luck then.

I knew grabbing her by the shoulder might cause her to spazz out, so I cleared my throat. She might've heard it, but ignored it anyway. Then I spoke, with a clear voice, "Caméllia... I..uh- wanted to talk to you." She turned around immediately, to face me and let out an annoyed "What?!" I almost froze. She had dark circles under her eyes and they were slightly puffy.

I then spoke again, "You... Are you okay?" Shit. Why did I have to ask something so god damn stupid! A bitter smile spread across her face, followed by a sarcastic short laugh, "Does it look like it?" I'm just so stupid.... why did I even bother confronting her in the first place?!

I knew this would be a mistake. I said, "um... sorry. I actually wanted to ask you about what happened yesterday. Wh- why did you do that to yourself, Caméllia?" And then I internally sighed. She still had that bitter smile when she spat, "and why do you expect me to tell YOU? Huh? As if you even care! Do you, now?! Huh?" I didn't know what to say to that. I mean like..... really, did I?

I didn't even knew the answer myself. I just stood there dumbly. Seriously, right now I wanted to hit myself with a shovel for being so fucking dumb. I knew it. I knew I'd screw up! She snapped her fingers in front of my eyes as if to grab my attention. Had I been staring?

Then she shook her head and muttered something under her breath, before turning back around and storming off towards the playground. I just stood there for a moment or two, completely clueless, cursing myself for being such an idiot. But then I realised that it was lunch and if I wasted anymore time here, then Mikey and the guys would surely ask questions. So I started walking towards the cafeteria slowly.

---

*At home*

I know I screwed up pretty bad today. I still feel like hitting myself for my idiocy. It didn't go as anything that I had planned. And here I am now.... sitting all alone up in my dark and dingy room, doodling. During lunch, I tried my best to not zone out. There was like this giant swarm of thoughts inside my mind, making me go nuts.

But I had managed to keep my calm somehow. There were still a LOT of questions that were unanswered. I didn't see her after that incident. It was as if she had magically disappeared or something like that. But I knew better. I knew she was trying to avoid me. And I actually think I should've let it stay that way. I shouldn't have tried to interfere.

But then again I just can't get that matter out of my head. Every time I try to convince myself to forget about it, those scenes come flashing back again. It's just so god damn frustrating! I just- I want to know what's wrong. I can't help it. I just wanna know. Even though she might never tell me. But I think I'm going to try at least one last time before giving up.

I know that this is the stupidest of ideas I've come up with... but it's kinda my last resort. I'm gonna go to her home and then talk. That way, she wouldn't be able to walk away, she would have to give in..... eventually. Or at least that's what I hope. I know I'm walking on thin ice here.... and I might be the most idiotic moron to try to do this.

But I just don't know.... I wanna do this. Like I said, this so frustrating! I'm going nuts here! Why? Why did I have to be such an awful fuck?! Why did I have to fucking care?! Wait- do I really care? I don't know. I feel like I just wanna know her better. I wanna know what is it that pushed- Caméllia, the said 'epitome of perfection', over the edge.

I might as well hate this revelation of mine, but I do wanna help her too. God... I'm one crazy fucktard now, aren't I?! This is just so insane. And I know the only way to get out of this insanity, is for me to find out the truth. And for her to give in. If that'd even be possible. She just knows the perfect way to shut me off. And I hate that. I hate that she keeps it all bottled up inside of her.

You might ask how did I know. Well, it's actually pretty simple. If she didn't have all her emotions bottled up, then they wouldn't have over flowed in THAT form. I hope you get the reference. Yes, I'm talking about her scars. Indeed, that was merely the result of an overflow of her emotions. Okay.... now before this over thinking of mine goes out of my hand, I NEED to do something.

So.... I did what I had planned on doing. I called Frank and asked him if he knew Caméllia's address, which he surprisingly did. But he had also told me that even if he knew it, he never really drove up to hers. I asked him if he could drop me off at hers, to which he just said a simple 'yes' before hanging up without any further question.

I still had the same outfit on from school. And I didn't bother changing it. As soon as Frank's car pulled over in front of our house, I got in. I had lied to Mikey and mum about hanging out with Frank. I don't even know why I lied in the first place. Maybe because I didn't want them to be making false assumptions about me and Caméllia........

hehe did I really just think that? Nah. That would just be like....no. never gonna happen. On our way, Frank did ask me, "So why all of a sudden you wanna pay Caméllia, out of all the people, a visit?" I tried to keep a straight face while replying and tried to sound as convincing as possible, "Nothing. We had a little argument today. I over reacted. Now she's trying to ignore me. I just feel kinda bad because she might be hurt. So I just wanted to apologise... in person."

Well, at least some of it was true. He turned to me with a raised brow and smirk. I feigned innocence, "what?" But I knew what his perverted mind had been assuming... and well, it might've been his first guess, since I wasn't really the one who ever apologised. Especially to her. He shook his head and smiled genuinely, "nothing" The rest of the drive was in silence.

---

After a good 30 minutes or so, we pulled into the driveway of a..... quite plush looking house, you can say. I got out of the car uncomfortably. Frank grinned, "Hey, Gee if you need me to drive you back, then just give me a call, okay? And don't take too long!" I rolled my eyes at him, "yeah. Yeah."

And before wasting another moment, he drove off. But then it hit me... I was standing in front of her house. Shit. A thousand random questions popped inside my head all at once. What if she shuts the door in my face? What if her parents judge me? What if I end up making a complete fool of myself? What would I first say to her?

Good lord! Why did I dare to come here?! But then I closed my eyes shut. Breathe Gee. Breathe. In and then out. You have to do it... it's now or never.

Ha! That sounded pretty cheesy!

You know I'm just gonna pretend like you're not there.

Ha! Good luck with that then! ......... Gee's meeting his cruu-uu-shhh!!!! Gee's meeting his cruu-uu-shhh!!!

......go to hell for heaven's sake.

I dragged my feet to the mahogany doors with the number 7 engraved on it with gold. I swear my hands were shaking as they made contact with the doorbell, and once it rung, my heart skipped a beat. No answer. Stop being such a pussy Gee! What's the worst thing that could happen?

I dared to ring it for the second time and without the door was opened with a whip of air hitting me because of the momentum used to open it. And my jaw dropped.

Notes

Okay, I know this isn't very long. But here you go- leaving you with a cliffhanger!
once again thanks to everyone who read, commented and voted.
Much love
C