The Fantasy

A thin smile crept across the female officers face as she watched Gerard leave his house. His sudden appearance had quickly silenced her colleague who had told her over and over again that she was being overly cautious. Previously, she would have listened to him, ignoring her gut instinct and driven both of them back to the station. But she had worked with victims of domestic violence before and she knew exactly how these men worked. “I knew there was someone else there” She said bitterly, not taking her eyes off the dark haired man as he wandered down the garden path, shoving his hands deep into his jacket pockets; keeping his head low as he moved. “What do we do now?” The policeman asked, glancing over at her as she sat behind the wheel; both hands gripping the steering wheel tightly as her narrow eyes remained fixed on him. “We run him through our records, see if anything comes up. I’m sure this is our guy Bill, trust me” she replied, waiting for Gerard to leave the street before driving back to the station.

She wasn’t prepared to let another person suffer at the hands of a psychopath.

*****
Frank hid in the toilet cubical, tears trailing down his cheeks as he muffled his sobs in his hands. He couldn’t cope anymore. Gerard had hardly spoken to him in days and it was killing him. Instead, he would give him the silent treatment, giving him filthy, demeaning looks as he passed him in the corridors or from opposite ends of the room. The worst part of all this was when he would humiliate him in class in front of everyone, making every look and laugh at him because of a mistake he made. He hated this. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were, back when they would meet up in secret and Gerard would do the sweetest things for him.

But that seemed to be over now. He was right, everything he touched turned bad. Even his relationship with the man he loved.

His mind wandered back to last night, a sickly feeling rising in his stomach as the memories began to resurface. He didn’t want to sleep with him, but Gerard said it would make him happy, that it would make him feel better. Of course, he wanted to make it better, he’d do anything to make him happy so he did. He remembered the pain, the seemingly never-ending agony as Gerard forced himself into him. He tried to keep going, but it was too much. He couldn’t bear it anymore. Gerard can we stop for a moment He said, his body trembling. Gerard ignored him, fucking him harder as he forced himself deeper inside him. Frank began to panic, he didn’t want this, not anymore. “Gerard stop, your hurting me” He pleaded, squirming in his boyfriends grasp as he tried to escape. Gerard grabbed his arms, holding him down against the bed as he sped out, biting his lip as Frank screamed in agony. “STOP IT, PLEASE STOP!” Frank cried, hot tears trailing down his face as the pain intensified. Suddenly Gerard’s fist collided with his face, silencing him immediately. “Shut the fuck up” he yelled, locking eyes with his lover as he continued to rape him. For the rest of the night, Frank stared silently at the wall, his body trembling as he tried to ignore the pain; silently crying to himself as he wished it would end, wish Gerard would see what he was doing and apologise. He wished Gerard would take him in his arms and promise never to hurt him again and mean it this time, he would promise to get help with his anger and they could be happy.

But of course, it never played out like that.

Gerard eventually finished, sliding out of Frank and sitting on the bed beside him, silently lighting up a cigarette. Frank said nothing, silently pleading that he would apologise to him, that he would show some remorse for his actions. He felt Gerard’s eyes fall upon his pallid body, moving over him and making him feel disgusting. “You know what you are Frank? Your pathetic. I was trying to show how much I loved you and try to work this out between us and what do you do? You cause a scene” Gerard said bitterly, taking another drag of the cigarette as he looked out onto the room. He couldn’t stand to look at him right now. Frank kept his eyes fixed upon the wall, not daring to turn back. “But… you were hurting me. I just wanted you to stop…” Frank replied timidly. In that moment, Gerard grabbed Frank by chin, turning his head to face him. “Don’t you dare turn this back onto me! I didn’t not rape you, you pathetic excuse for a man You always have to find a way of ruining things. No wonder you’ve driven all of your friends away” he spat venomously. Frank felt his bottom lip trembling, he didn’t want to upset him. He just wanted to explain how he felt and right now he felt disgusted with himself.

He was nothing but a pathetic excuse of a man
a fat failure
an attention seeking cunt
better of dead
He reached into his blazer pocket, his fingertips brushing against a small piece of metal. He pulled it out, small, bloodied razor blade that glinted in the light, reflecting back his tear stained face. He sighed, calming himself down as he pulled up his sleeve, revealing the deep healing scars in crested upon his flesh. The sight of it made him wince as he closed his eyes; she had never liked them. But it was the only way he could cope anymore. He had nobody left in this world, nobody except Gerard and even then he was pushing him away. A tear trailed down his cheek as he pushed the razor blade deep into his skin, quietly gasping out as he dragged it down her wrist. Blood began to ooze from the cut, spilling down his arms and onto his hands as he pushed it harder onto his skin; feeling the release he desired. The pain of world around him was momentarily blocked out as the blood continued to pour from the wound in his arm. He stood there, alone in the silence; tears falling from his lifeless eyes as Gerard words circulating through his mind. Perhaps he was right.

Perhaps he was better off dead.

Notes

What will happen to Frank? Let me know what you think in the comments

There will be another update later today!

also, check out this latest video by my friend- I'd really appreciate it if you help her out :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-I8s7itBtY

Rate/Comment/Subscribe