“It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.” - John Steinbeck

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I slumped at my locker slowly placing each one of my books into the metal compartment. I heard a few distant giggles and the echo of shoes trickle through the hallways as the last of the students emptied out of the school and allowed the weekend to begin. I would be assisting to that echo, but my mother would get suspicious if I was suddenly home in record time and I had told Mikey to meet me at my locker after school, so therefore sulking at my locker was my time-passing method.

Usually Friday afternoons left me feeling highly unsatisfied with the fact I had achieved nothing during the school day but totally apathetic also considering I had to two days of complete nothingness to attempt to rectify the fact. However fully knowing also that I wouldn’t; it was a cycle of denial basically. I mean sure there was homework, but procrastination until late Sunday night was the main method of getting work complete. I worked on the simple premise that I wouldn’t do it unless left to the last minute where I had no other option but to do it. Teachers liked to grunt and scowl at the lack of effort, and insist that I get a study schedule and work to my full potential, but hey, as long as the work was done what did they care - legibility wasn’t really that big of a deal, I mean I could read it, so why can’t they? Effort that’s why; it was slightly contradictory, they wanted me to put in more effort, when they weren’t prepared to appreciate what I had actually done purely because it would take some squinting and guessing as to what letters formed what words.
I held up a sheet of paper covered in my scrawl; okay so it was pretty bad, everything looked like a big mess of blue ink, but at least I did the damn homework.
I scrunched up the paper and threw it to the back of my locker before a small cough brought me from my thoughts. I quickly grabbed my backpack and slammed the door shut; a harsh ringing ricocheting off the walls. I turned expecting to see Mikey but instead came face to face with Bob. I recoiled a little as he was extremely close, our noses nearly touching kind of close.

“Uh, hey Bob,” I smiled trying to seem less standoffish.

Bob grinned not having noticed my slight resistance, “hey Frank.”

We stood slightly awkwardly for a moment, he obviously had something to say, I mean he wouldn’t have waited behind for me if not.
“Uhm, is there something I can help with?”

He looked slightly dazed for a moment before speaking, “oh no, not really, I was just wondering why you weren’t at school yesterday, I asked Mikey this morning but he was dragged off by Ray before he could answer,” he let out a small sigh, “I get the feeling Ray may hate me, I don’t know why, but he’s been nothing but a douchebag to me since I got here.”

“Dude, sorry, I was sick yesterday. If I’d known Ray would have been a bother for you I would have come to school,” I paused, thoughts of Ray beginning to bombard my mind, “Ray, he-he never used to be like this, I swear, he was honestly a really awesome guy. But all of a sudden, it’s like as soon as someone even looks at Mikey he turns into some kind of animal. But hey, at least you’re not the only one, he’s been shitty to me too.”

Bob beamed and lightly laughed, “well, I won’t lie, that does make me feel a little better.”

I opened my mouth about to say a goodbye to Bob when footsteps began to encroach, followed by angry whispers. I could differentiate between two pitches, indicating two people, but they were still around the corner of the hallway and out of view. Undoubtedly unaware of our presence they continued to converse in harsh hushed words and Bob was obviously as curious of an individual as myself. He quirked an eyebrow before nodding toward the end of hallway and silently setting off. I followed closely behind trying to abstain from making my shoes squeak against the flooring. We perched next to a locker that was close enough to the end of the hallway so that we could at least hear some of the conversation.

The first voice was slightly higher and rougher than the other and seemed to be the more forceful of the two, “I’m telling you it’s a bad idea! You cannot go tonight. We shouldn’t even be discussing this!”

“What the fuck are you on about? It’s basically a family dinner! His mother invited us over, I can’t just not go because things are little awkward. Besides it’s the perfect opportunity to fix things with Frank,” the second voice was laced in desperation and I mentally slapped myself for not realising who it was sooner. Mikey and Ray.

“You’re not going, and that’s final!”

“Dude, you’re not my mother, I’m not going to do what you tell me too, alright? Look we’re friends right, but Frank is my best friend and I may have fucked our relationship up completely, so I need to fix it. I know you care, and thank you, but sometimes you’re a little overbearing, just back off a bit, let me sort myself out, okay?”

“What about what I told you before huh? What about that? You just going to ignore it, pretend like you never knew?” Ray snapped, no longer bothering to whisper.

Mikey stuttered on his answer, making me increasing suspicious of what Ray had told him, “that’s exactly why I need to go tonight! We need to talk things over.”

A loud scoff came from presumably Ray, “you’re gonna’ regret going tonight Mikey. You’re too easy, too trusting and it’s going to fuck you over sooner or later.”

Instantly I shot up from my hiding spot, anger beginning to pulsate at my temples. Fucking Ray, he certainly was living to his asshole status, but treating Mikey like that was taking things one step too far. I tried to look as inconspicuous as possible, and not like I had been listening to the conversation for the past five minutes. I just had to refrain from hitting Ray; I could manage – hopefully. I turned the corner and saw Mikey backed up against the wall with Ray looming over him.

I smirked at Ray, “not interrupting anything am I?”

Mikey seemed to relax and slipped away from Ray toward me, “uh no, we’re just talking, I was on my way to see you.”

Ray’s face contorted into pure hatred as he glared directly at me. I took a step back and bumped into Bob who had, at some point, slinked up behind me. I felt a little less fucking petrified, at least if Ray did initiate something I’d have at least Bob to help me out.

Mikey smiled as he noticed Bob behind me, “hey Bob,” he quickly looked over at me, “is Bob coming over for dinner too?”

I moved to the side a little to allow Bob some more space so he could answer for himself. Bob was obviously a little worried with Ray constantly staring and snarling at him but answered nonetheless, “uh no, my grandparents come over for dinner on Fridays anyways.”

I felt a little bad for not inviting him, but he had plans, so it made me a feel a little bit better.

“Sorry about the invite dude, next time you definitely have to come, and Ray well, maybe if you decided to stop looking at me like you want to tear my throat out I’d invite you too.”

Ray took a step forward and was practically seething resentment, “fuck you Iero, you too Bryar.”

Mikey was a little taken aback, “Ray? The fuck is wrong with you today?”

“Nothing, see you later Mikey,” Ray made sure to give one last hint of glaring daggers at us before storming off down the corridor.

Mikey was almost gobsmacked into silence, “I, sorry dude, he’s – I don’t know. Frank, he’s never been like this before, y’know, all angry and aggressive. And Bob, dude, I know he’s been an ass to you, but I thought I was just a 'for fun' thing.”

Bob just shrugged seemingly unfazed, “it’s alright, I think I better head home though, my mother will have a fit if I’m late. See you guys on Monday.”

Mikey and I shared a ‘bye’ in unison and Bob headed off in the opposite direction to Ray. I turned to Mikey and offered a smile that I hoped projected some kind of reassurance.

Mikey was almost piteous with his reply, “Jesus, Frank I am so sorry-“

I held up my hand to silence him, “it’s okay, let’s just forget about Ray.”

He nodded dejectedly, “uhm, you text me before, told me to meet you?”

“Oh yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to walk home with me? I mean your parents are coming over later, so you may as well spend the afternoon right?”

Mikey’s features lightened and I saw the first genuine Mikey Way smile I’d seem in almost a week. I realised just how much I’d missed this; us. The old Mikey and me, where there was no relationship worries, no Ray being an ass, it was just us and nothing more mattered.

“Sure, thanks Frank.”

Mikey and I opted for silence as we walked along the mostly empty streets to my house. It was a mutual mental connection that kept both silent, we had so much to say and yet silence seemed to speak words neither of us could possibly fathom. However we both knew this wasn’t to last, eventually we would need to speak, but decided to leave that until we reached the safe confines of my room. My body tensed as I remembered; Gerard. Fuck. I hadn’t even thought of telling him that Mikey was coming over. Scenarios of their meeting played through my thoughts, all of them containing two common factors – Mikey being his polite self and Gerard complaining about me keeping him in a wardrobe – which was the truth, partially, but it didn’t need to be shared.

A grip on my shoulder brought me back to reality. Mikey was staring at me his mouth slightly ajar obviously waiting for me to answer something he’d asked.

“Uh, sorry?” I tried to look innocent, and not like I’d completely ignored him.

“Your house? You nearly walked straight past it. Are you okay?”

“Oh well look at that,” I chuckled trying to lighten the mood, “I’m fine, come on, mum and dad should be home in like an hour so the house is ours.” I instantly squinted my eyes in frustration and brought my palm to my face. For someone not trying to give the wrong idea, saying that the house was ours was easily the most stupid thing I could have said.

I heard a small happy noise emit from Mikey’s throat, “sounds good.”

We meandered through the house eventually ending up outside my bedroom door, grabbing soda and a cookies on the way. I stood and stared at the white painted wood for maybe a moment too long. I don’t know what I was waiting for - x-ray vision would have been too much of a blessing right now. Not a sound travelled through the door, so I hoped that Gerard had hear us arrive and had hidden in time.

“Frank?” Mikey stood behind me utterly confused, “you gonna’ open the door?”

I coughed trying to cover up the simmering panic attack, “yeah, yes. The door. Uh, yes I’m gonna’ open it.” I closed my eyes and wrapped my hand around the brass knob before pushing the door open. I peered into the room to see it nearly spotlessly clean and also no Gerard. I stood in a relieved stupor as Mikey pushed passed me and dumped his bag onto the floor.

I grinned and crossed my arms as I watched him filter through the books on the shelf, letting a few fall to the floor, “oh don’t mind the cleanliness, make yourself at home!”

Mikey smiled, “it’s not a problem, I’ll make sure to leave this room looking like a real Frank Iero bedroom instead of this ‘sporadic motherly invasion of cleanliness’, you and clean don’t make a good pair.”

“I find that highly offensive, and highly accurate. Time spent cleaning is time wasted.”

“Agreed,” Mikey nodded as he fell down onto the bed with a pile of comics.

We spent nearly the entirety of the hour alone reading in silence. It had taken nearly half of that time for me to realise where Gerard had hidden. Trying my best to be inconspicuous I had opened the wardrobe an inch to ‘retrieve more comics’ – well that’s what Mikey thought I was doing, anyways, I found it empty. Not even a sign that Gerard had even been in the wardrobe, which then left me feeling almost nauseated considering if he wasn’t in the wardrobe then where the hell was he. As much as I had hoped, Mikey was getting increasingly irritated and suspicious of my weird behaviour, and no matter how many times I tried to lie about it, his blank stare and “are you fucking kidding me” look basically solidified that he knew I was lying. And on top of all that it just so happened that Gerard deciding to be an ass and Mikey’s patience waring out were synonymous with one another.

We were both sprawled out on the bed, and for the last few minuted my body had broken out in a cold anxious sweat, and with our close proximity it wasn’t long before Mikey got a little concerned with my noticeable perspiration. Although being polite as he is, he didn’t say a word, but I saw him stealing confused glances at the hair that was starting to stick to my brow. It was when my t-shirt began to stick to the skin on my back that Mikey finally decided to say something, however his opportunity was cut short from my high pitched squealing. Gerard had been hidden under the bed the entire time, and took the liberty to grab onto my foot that was hanging over the edge of the bed, successfully scaring the absolute shit out of my already panicking body.

Naturally Mikey looked at me as though I was a foreign entity and had gone completely mental. His eyebrows had perched themselves far above the rim of his glasses and he was leaning back, seemingly as a safety precaution. Also Gerard’s off pitch guffawing from under the bed probably wasn’t helping, because as far as Mikey knew the laughter was phantom and basically erupting from thin air – he didn’t have the slightest of ideas that there was another person in the room. His shock at my scream, his confusion as the too the phantom laughing and his questioning of my unnatural perspiration all seemed to engulf his mind at once and it was clearly evident through the mix of emotion imprinted on his face.

I sat up on the bed and held my hands in a calming, peaceful manner, “uh I can explain.”

Mikey looked livid for a moment before clearing his throat, evidently trying to ignore Gerard’s, who was still out of sight, continuing laughter, “what the fuck is happening right now. You are sweating like it’s the middle of summer, you screamed like a six year old, and I am hearing laughter that does not belong to either of us but I am not seeing another person. Now either I am losing my mind, or you put some sort of fucking drug in our sodas and I am tripping right now.”
“Would you believe me if I told you it was neither?”

“Probably not, but I’ll give you a chance considering I don’t like either of other options.”
I crawled off the bed as Mikey stood on the other side and watched wide eyed, “okay so there is someone I’d like you to meet.” Mikey’s eyebrows now disappeared underneath the stray pieces of hair that fell on his forehead. I looked down to see Gerard trying to scramble away from me under the bed.

“Get your ass back here,” I grumbled and I bent down and curled my fingers around the collar of his shirt earning a small mewl from Gerard as I hauled him up next to me. Mikey’s mouth hung agape as he took in the boy next to me. Gerard was still giggling lightly at my misfortune, but still managed to get out a small greeting and a little wave.

Mikey’s eyes jumped between the pair of us when suddenly his expression changed from confused to hostile, “Frank Iero,” I was about to answer when Mikey took a large step towards me, “you went back didn’t you? After I specifically told you not too, you went back to the fucking house and to make things worse, you stole a fucking child! You have to take him back! For fucks sake, did you really think this was a good idea!?”

I crossed my arms in defence and tried to look menacing, I knew it wasn’t working, but it was worth a try, “first of all he’s not a child, secondly I had to go back, and I had to get him out of there, you don’t know what he’s been through Mikey, he wasn’t safe and he sure as hell isn’t going back!”

“Yes he is! You are gonna take him back right fucking now!” Mikey snapped and grabbed onto Gerard’s forearm.

“You’ll have to kill me first before he goes anywhere near that house!”

“That can be arranged,” Mikey’s snide remark was assisted with the skin of his knuckles turning white as Gerard whimpered from the tightening grip.

The sound of Gerard’s tiny whines and mewls ignited an animalistic reaction from the pit of my stomach that swam through every vein and trickled along each nerve. I lunged at Mikey ripping his grip away from Gerard and pushed him away; my mouth curled into a snarl. Gerard shuffled behind me and held onto his arm covering the small discolorations that were flowering into bruises under the skin from Mikey’s fingertips.

Mikey looked at me in pure shock as he stumbled backward, “Frank, I – you,” incoherence was flowing off lips as he tried to piece together what had transpired. “Frank you, you have to take him back. Look at you, you’re worried about his safety but I don’t think you’re exactly a safe option, you, you fucking growled at me!”

“You hurt him, what did you expect me to do! Laugh?”

“No! Of course, but I just didn’t expect my best friend to turn into a fucking animal!”

I cast my eyes downward, “Look, Mikey, I’m sorry okay, I shouldn’t have reacted that way, I just – I don’t know, something happened.”

Mikey glared at me, “I know exactly what fucking happened! I know what’s going on here. Don’t fucking lie to me Frank. You go and tell Ray all this shit about how you feel about me, and then I find out you’re already fucking some freak! Well fuck you too Frank Iero. I fucking hate you.” Tears were flowing down Mikey’s bright cheeks as he screamed at me and then grabbed his bag. Het let out one last cry before storming out of the house and slamming the front door.

Had Gerard not been standing behind me I was sure I would have collapsed. My chest began to ache and I felt my stomach churn in pure anguish. My breathing began to pick up as I tried to get enough air into my straining lungs. This wasn’t how things were supposed to happen. Words began to drip from my lips in a mumbled mess, and I was sure that I had finally lost my mind. In comparison to losing my best friend, losing my mind was trivial; I’d rather be crazy with someone I loved than completely sane and utterly alone.

Notes

hello! oh dear, so shit has intensified, and as a little spoiler for the next chapter all I can say is that Mikey will regret leaving that house. ;)
dont forget to leave some feedback, I like hearing what you guys think about this story! :) and thank you so very much for reading!
sorry for any errors x