“There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told” – Edgar Allen Poe

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“Frank? Frank are you here?”

The sound of a voice calling for me woke me from the light sleep I hadn’t realised I’d fallen into. I groaned and shuffled a little to wipe at my face. When my arm didn’t move as I planned I pried my eyes open to find Gerard’s body entwined with mine, and his face buried in my chest. I let a small smile slip onto my face as I watched his chest rise and fall slowly with his uneven breathing. I lightly brushed away the hair from his face to reveal his delicate features and lightly parted lips. I was gawking, a little creepily, but he was sound asleep.

“Frank Anthony Iero!”

I shot up in the bed successfully knocking Gerard’s body off mine and waking him from his slumber. He let out a small moan of annoyance and scrunched his face. His small fingers extended out clutching for my shirt like a child.

“Frank, I know you’re here!”

Mikey. Finally aware of the situation and the sound of Mikey’s encroaching steps I began to shake Gerard’s body.

“Gerard! Gerard, wake up, quick, you need to hide.”

Gerard’s eyes flew open and he looked at me in complete terror. He began to shake and fear washed the colour from his face, “he found me didn’t he, he’s here, you’re going to give me back to him. No. no Frank I can’t go back I can’t! Don’t make me go!” Gerard was frantic as he fell from the bed and shuffled away from me on the floor.

“Gee, Gee, calm down. He’s not here, he’s not going to take you away. You’re not going anywhere except my wardrobe because Mikey is here and you need to hide before he finds you.” I slowly pulled Gerard up from the floor and held his elbows while he calmed down.

For a moment Gerard looked utterly perplexed the fear seemingly having been completely disregarded.

“Gee, Gerard, look you really need to hide,” I tried my best to usher Gerard toward the wardrobe when a loud banging echoed throughout my room.

“Frank, open this door!” Mikey demanded, continuing his bashing against the wood.

“Fuck, quick, I’ll get rid of him as quick as I can. Just hide,” I cursed again to myself, as I stared the door down.

A light click behind me reassured me that Gerard was safely enclosed in the wardrobe and so I stepped forward and pulled the door open. A fuming and dishevelled Mikey appeared in the doorway looking like he was seconds away from throttling me.

“Frank! What the actual fuck dude! Where were you today? Are you sick, you don’t look sick? I was freaking out all day, Ray was all shady and shit when I asked why you weren’t at school and said something about you and I being together or something fucking stupid like that. You didn’t answer any of my texts or calls. I could have sworn I heard voices, who were you talking too? Frank are you alright, you look like you’re gonna pass out?” Mikey spoke too fast for my brain to comprehend half of his words. He stood and stared at me when I remained silent, the anger having dissipated into concern.

My knees buckled slightly and I fell forward causing Mikey to have to catch me, “Jesus Frank, come on, sit down.” Mikey held me close assisting me as I sat down on the end of the bed. He left his hand to linger on my back reassuringly, “Frank you know you can talk to me, you’ve been kinda weird the last couple of days. Is it because of what I said to you after we went to the house? You know I didn’t meant it I was just upset, I’m sorry.”

“No, no Mikey this, this isn’t your fault at all. I just – no it’s nothing. Mikey I think it’s best if you left, I could be infectious.”

Mikey looked a little dumbfounded before scoffing, “I’m not leaving until you talk to me. Infectious my ass, Frank. You’ve been a hell of a lot more sick than you are now and I spent hours with you and was fine. Is something wrong between us? Did I do something?”

“No, no, okay. It’s Ray, he said some things and I-“ I stopped for a moment contemplating whether or not I was going to regret my next choice of words, “are you and Ray dating?”

Mikey shot back a little in shock before his cheeks fired up, “what! Me and Ray? Are you, are you crazy, Frank I-I’m not g-“

I took hold of his hand, “it’s okay Mikey, I’m not going to judge you if you are. I’m your best friend and I’ll accept you no matter what you are.”

“What did Ray say to you? No, we are not dating. I’m not into Ray in that way, I never have been!”

“What Ray said doesn’t matter, he just seems very protective of you that’s all.”

“Just because he’s protective doesn’t mean we’re fucking each other! Fucking hell Frank, I can’t-I just, fuck,” Mikey glared at me a little before placing his head in his hands, “I think I should go, I just wanted to make sure you were okay and now this and ugh, see ya later Frank.”

Mikey stood up and began to leave, “Mikey wait, please, I’m sorry okay, I just didn’t know. I had the wrong idea, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Mikey half smiled, “I know, did you mean it?”

I raised an eyebrow in confusion, “mean what?”

Mikey turned and stepped toward me; so close that our noses were almost touching, “when you said you’d accept me no matter what, did you mean it?”

“Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I? No matter what gender you prefer you’re still going to be the same old Mikey to me, you’re like my brother.”

I noticed Mikey’s expression change immediately, his face fell before he moved away, “bye Frank.”

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow yeah?”

Mikey muttered a small ‘yeah’ before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.
A hand was delicately placed on my shoulder, I turned to see Gerard looking at me intently.

“Sorry about that, he can be stubborn when he wants too, so what do you want to do, we still have some time before my mum gets home?” I turned away and headed back to the bed to watch another movie.

“He likes you,” Gerard’s voice made me freeze as I was rummaging around for the TV remote.

I turned around and looked at Gerard’s dead serious expression, “Mikey? No, no way in hell. We’re like brothers. He doesn’t like me, you’re mistaken.”

“He was going to kiss you, you know that, when he stepped real close to you. He only moved away when you said exactly that ‘you’re like my brother’.”

I opened my mouth to retort when I thought about how Mikey’s gaze had lingered on my lips whilst he moved closer to me. Gerard was right. He was going to kiss me.

“Oh fuck,” I breathed out, “I- I thought he may have been gay, but interested in me? Oh shit, this is going to end so badly. Why, why Mikey, why me?” I looked up the ceiling pleading for any divinity to answer me, “Ray’s a fucking asshole but at least I know he’ll treat Mikey right, me on the other hand, fuck, no, I could never, he’ll always be like a brother.”

Gerard stayed silent and placed himself back into his previous position next to me on the bed. We sat in silence for a moment before Gerard spoke up, “Mikey, I used to call my brother that. He had glasses too, my brothers were white, and they were too big for him so they fell down a lot.”

I let out a small laugh, “Mikey’s used to do that too until he got new ones about a year ago. They sat on the end of his nose and he had to hold his head at a really awkward angle so he could see properly. Mikey Way, he’s my best friend, always has been, none of the other kids talked to us because we were different and pretended to be vampires and werewolves and all sorts of ghouls when we played. They thought we were scary, mothers even told their children to avoid us. It didn’t matter though, we had each other and we never needed anyone else.”

Gerard’s face fell a little, “Until now of course, Mikey’s gonna love you, trust me. You’re almost as weird as us,” I smiled and winked at him.

Gerard laughed and ducked his head a little out of my view. My smile increased as his timidness, I placed my hand under his chin and lifted it so he had no other option but to look at me.

“You know, you blush a lot, and you get all shy when you smile,” I teased.

Gerard tried to pull away, “shut up, no I don’t.”

I let his chin go and poked his side playfully, “you do.”

Gerard and I sat and watched the television, although it was more than obvious neither of us were actually paying attention to very sketchy zombie horde on the screen. I caught Gerard stealing small glances at me and my hands every so often and the temptation to keep my fingers from lacing with his was almost unbearable. I didn’t want Gerard to think he was making me uncomfortable, but I had to keep my mind off his presence, and fidgeting was the only thing I could think of. I picked at my jeans, my fingernails, I toyed with my earing, I even considering fiddling with the zipper of my jeans but realised quickly that that was certainly not one of my brighter ideas. The last thing I wanted was for Gerard to think I was going to shove my hand down my pants whilst he was right next to me.

Gerard’s head began to droop a little and his eyelids soon followed in a similar motion, I figured the movie was probably boring enough to put me to sleep as well had I been paying any attention to it. The urge for contact soon left the depths of my mind and became and almost animalistic need. Just a touch, a brush of his hair from his eyes, a wrapping of my arm around his waist – anything! My eyes danced over his tiny body and instantly I felt sick and utterly disgusted with myself. I was taking advantage of his submissive state, though not physically just the thoughts were enough to disturb me.

“Frank, are you okay?”

I focused my vision and found Gerard staring at me with his eyebrow creased with concern. I parted my lips ready to justify why I had been staring at him but he spoke again before I could muster up my words.

“You keep staring at me,” Gerard stopped a little abruptly, almost like he wanted to say more but he just wasn’t sure what is was he wanted to say.

I swallowed, even though my throat was bone dry, “I, uh, sorry, this movie really sucks huh?” I tried to avert the conversation, direct it as far away from Gerard’s queries as possible.

The sides of his mouth tugged a little into a smile, “yeah, it does.”

I let out a breathy laugh and internally thanked whatever miracles were at work that he didn’t question me further. I needed to work on keeping my attention off Gerard’s face, and especially off the rest of his body. The last thing I needed was to be branded a pervert.

The silence was broken with the sound of the front door being slammed closed followed by the hasty click of heels against the wooden floors. Gerard looked at me for a moment before sighing and crawling off the bed.

“I guess that’s my cue to hide,” his voice betrayed his seemingly uncaring stance. I knew he hated the arrangement but to be honest I’m sure it’s a whole lot better then what he came from.
I caught his gaze and mothed and apology as he closed the door. I quickly pulled the covers up over my body and switched the television off just seconds before my mother strolled into the room.

She scurried around my room scolding me for leaving my comics all over the floor, and scowling at the general uncleanliness. She placed the back of her hand against my forehead and smiled, “well looks like someone recovered quickly, stay in bed though, I’ll bring up dinner when it’s ready, alright sweetie?”

I nodded and thanked her before she hurried out; the clicking of her heels disappearing down the stairs. Gerard poked his head out from the wardrobe and made a slight jerking motion towards the door. I huffed in irritation as my mother had left the door wide open.

“Feel free to close it,” I grunted.

Gerard just smirked, “nope, you insist I stay hidden, so you can close it yourself.”

I cursed at myself and then also at Gerard as I pulled myself from the bed and hurried over to close the door. A small giggle sounded behind me and I turned to see Gerard trying to stifle his laughter.

I looked down at myself trying to see if there was something obvious that caused him to laugh, “what?”

“You, you get all flustered and red in the face when you’re grumpy,” Gerard giggled again.

“I do not, and besides I’m not grumpy.”

“Whatever you say,” Gerard grinned at me, his tiny teeth accentuating his childishness.

I turned away and flopped onto the bed in an attempt to hide the smile that was on my face. In the short time I’d known Gerard, if there was one thing I’d learnt it was his disturbing ability to make me smile. I buried my face further into the mattress and groaned. I only wanted to help Gerard, get him away from that monstrosity of a human being, but instead I got stuck with an inner turmoil and hormones making every second full of angst and primeval need.

Gerard had decided to try a new tactic when my mother returned to my room with dinner. Partially is was because we were far to engrossed with reading some of the comics that he found shoved in the back of the wardrobe. Why they were there and how they got there was a mystery to me, but I wasn’t complaining. So as we were completely distracted and missed my mother clonking up the stairs Gerard had no option but to practically roll off the bed and force his body under the bed. He did so in record time as my mother meandered through the door humming a song she used to sing to me as a child.

I was praying that she didn’t decide to spoon feed, tuck me in and sing me sleep like she used too. It worked when I was six and thought there were monsters under the bed, but at seventeen with a teenage boy hidden under my bed, I didn’t really need to be sung to sleep – or spoon fed. My mother plonked herself down next to me and pushed the hair from my forehead. She looked happy enough but there were some obvious crease lines on her brow and she was lightly gnawing on her bottom lip. I knew that look, I knew it because I did the same thing when I wanted to talk about or ask something and I didn’t know how to, or I was nervous.

I tried to avoid my mothers’ gaze as I stirred the soup she had brought with her. Seconds away from slurping up my first spoonful she finally mustered up the courage to speak.

“Donna rang this afternoon,” I dropped the spoon back into the bowl, my appetite having disappeared in seconds. My mother noticed my reaction creasing her brow a little more, “she said Mikey came home in tears.”

I began to fidget, trying to avoid my mothers’ stare, “uh, yeah, so what’s that got to do with me?”
“She said he dropped by before he went home. He came to see if you were okay?”

I looked away fully this time. How could I admit I’d hurt Mikey so badly, I’d never even know he felt that way if Gerard hadn’t told me.

“Frank? Frank what happened? Mikey’s locked himself away apparently, he won’t say a word. Now we both know that’s not what Mikey does when he’s upset, so this must be pretty major” my mother pulled on my chin to make me look at her. I was afraid she was going to reprimand me, but her eyes showed nothing but concern.

“I, I didn’t do anything. Well not on purpose anyways,” I looked at my mother and she nodded for me to continue, “he came over and was freaking out because I was sick and didn’t text him. I asked him if he was dating Ray.”

My mother’s mouth opened a little in shock, “Ray, Raymond Toro?”

“Yes mum Ray, anyways Ray came up to me the other day and said some stuff, he was being really protective over Mikey and I just assumed that they had something going on. Mikey freaked out and was a little upset that I basically called him gay, he was scared I’d turn him away because of it.”

“Oh Frank you didn’t did you? You didn’t say something rude about it?”

“No! No, I said I was fine with it, and that I’d still be his friend no matter what he liked, then he got real close, I think he was gonna, y’know…” I trailed off, hoping she would fil the gaps.

“Kiss you?”

I sighed thinking back to how upset Mikey had looked after I said it, “I said he was like a brother to me, that’s when he left. I didn’t think I meant that much to him, I stand by what I said, he’s like my brother and he means a lot to me, but just not in that way.”

“Oh honey, the best thing you can do is be honest with him. Don’t lead him down the wrong path. How about I invite the Way’s over for dinner on tomorrow night, it’s a Friday they shouldn’t be busy. You and Mikey can use the alone time to sort out your issues. Everything will be alright, I promise,” She smiled and kissed my forehead before standing up from the bed.

“Thanks mum,” she gave me a small smile before beginning to leave the room. An idea suddenly struck me, “hey mum?”

She stopped at the doorway and turned to me, “yes sweetie?”

“Can I uh, can I invite a friend over tomorrow for dinner as well?”

My mother looked sceptical for a moment before she raised an eyebrow, “a friend? As in a friend, or a friend friend?”

“A friend mum.”

She hummed for a moment, “as long as you sort things out with Mikey then sure.”

I grinned and nodded, “thanks mum.”

“Who is this friend, by the way?”

I quickly scratched the back of my head trying to think of something to say, “uh, he’s new, he just moved here like a day ago.”

“Name?”

“uh G-Gerard, his names Gerard.”

Her lips curled into a small smirk and she crossed her arms over her chest, “you sure he’s just a friend? You’re getting awfully red in the cheeks for someone who’s just a friend.”

“He’s a friend!” I got a little huffy with my insisting, which probably wasn’t the best method of trying to convince my mother he was just a friend.

The smirk stayed plastered on her face as she turned and left the room, “sure honey, whatever you say.”

I covered my face with my hands and let out an irritated moan. A small giggle came from underneath the bed and instantly a scowl set on my face, oddly contrasting my flaming cheeks. I slung myself over the bed, letting my upper body hang over the edge so I could look underneath at Gerard. He was lying on his back with a hand over his mouth to try stifle his giggling. He turned his head to see me and let out a full cackle at my expense.
I creased my brow in irritation trying to cover up my mortification, “shut up Gerard.”

Notes

Hello! So, okay now there was supposed to be something kinda exciting happen in this chapter, but then nothing did, so I feel like I am boring you guys....leave a comment and let me know what you guys think, is there too much of nothingness, or do you like it as it is?
sorry for any errors! x