The Human Stain

Dinner passed relatively quickly and without incident. I think that Mikey and Frank could both tell that I was uncomfortable with talking about Jeremiah’s punishment, and they both graciously avoided the subject. I tried to eat as much as I could but my stomach was still swimming from earlier. Frank is courting me now. I am elated and terrified all at once. I never expected him to actually ask I just assumed that since we were mates we were considered romantically involved. Of course I am not in the best situation to be assuming things of that nature.

Soon dinner finishes and the servants clear the table. I let my mind drift until I hear Mikey ask Frank to stay for the night. I quickly become alert at that and excuse myself from the room as quick as possible. This could quite possibly be a disaster. I bite my lip, climb the stairs to my room, and shut the door quickly behind me as I enter. I let out a breath I did not realize I had been holding and slide down the door to the floor.

I can’t believe this! I know that I should be practically glowing from happiness at the thought of my mate spending the night, but I just can’t seem to bring myself to be anything but nervous. I ring the bell that’s by my nightstand that apparently summons Natasha. I wait in silence, my stomach feeling as if it’s trying to eat itself, and look up in relief when I hear a knock at the door.
I open the door and usher Natasha quickly inside. I have her sit next to me on the bed and before I realize what I’m doing I’m spilling all my fears. I tell her about being terrified of being intimate with Frank. The fear of not being able to live up to Frank’s expectations. In general the fear of Frank.

She sits in silence while I confide in her and when I am finally done she asks, “Why are you telling me this master?”

I sigh, “You know I want you to call me Gerard Natasha.”

“Ma-” She cuts herself off, “Gerard. Why are you telling me this? What do you expect me to do?”

“I don’t expect you to do anything I just…I needed a friend.”

“A friend?” She replies cautiously, “But Gerard you know being friends with a human simply isn’t done! I-it’s dangerous!”

“Natasha,” I say taking her hands, “I grew up thinking I was a human. All of this is foreign to me, honestly you are the only thing that even seems relatively normal to me. You ground me.”

Natasha blushes slightly, “Well I guess we can be friends if we don’t let on. Now I do not know if I’ll be too much help with this Frank issues, but I can try.”

Natasha helps me dissect each of my fears about Frank and about myself for the next few minutes. She helps me see how each of them is completely ridiculous and irrational, and eventually I relax. Too soon she’s summoned to another part of the house and I sigh sitting in silence once again.

I decide to attempt to at least give a semblance that I am productive and dress myself for bed. I climb in and pick up Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland from the nightstand and start to read once again. Once I’m just starting to get back into the story there’s a knock on the door. I rise and wrap myself in a dressing gown before answering. It’s Frank.

“I uh…what are you doing here?” I question trying to not sound rude.

“Well since we are mates it is customary that we share the same room.” He says rather paitently.

“Oh.” I say blushing and open the door wider allowing him inside.

He looks around the room slowly taking everything in. He takes his time walking about the room even though it is slightly small. He reaches the nightstand and he picks up Alice and I swear I could have heard him giggle a little. I mostly stand by the door, uncomfortable, and trying not to seem like a complete imbecile. Frank makes his way over to the dresser and selects a men’s sleeping attire that I didn’t even know was in there. He starts stripping and I blush as red as a rose and quickly excuse myself to use the facilities.

I quickly close and lock the door to the bathroom and sit down on the toilet trying to calm my racing heart. I can not do this despite what Natasha said I just can not. I take several deep breaths and then stand up, albeit a bit unsteadily and finish preparing for bed. Just as I am about finished there is a knock upon the door that is quite obviously Frank.

“Gerard my love are you alright in there?” He calls through the door and I blush. My love?

“I-I am fine.” I manage to stutter out and I unlock the door stepping out.

Frank is standing there dressed in just a pair of black sleep pants and I immediately blush again. It seems that’s all I do around him. His chest is adorned with the most amazing pictures some simply words, and I let out a quiet noise of appreciation.

“You like them?” Frank asks and I simply nod, “You can touch them if you want.”

I tentatively reach out and touch the one over his heart stroking the flame and the word “hope” beneath it lightly. I take in the rest and gently touch the rest especially liking the look of the birds on his hip. Although they look relatively new. I feel Frank shiver slightly.

“What do they mean?” I ask in a whisper almost reverent.

“I…” Frank trails off and I feeling his practically shaking beneath me. “They mean “Il mio amore ti protegge eternamente.”

“What does that mean?” I ask not familiar with the language.

“It’s Italian. It means ‘My love protects you eternally‘. I got them the day after I met you.” I look up at Frank my eyes wide waiting for him to continue. “When I first saw you even before I knew for sure you were my mate; I had this inexplicable need to protect you and treasure you and keep you safe from the evils of this world. That is also why I have the words ‘Search and Destroy‘ between them to show that I will hunt down and destroy anyone who dares hurt you.”

“I…” I trail off speechless and amazed feeling honored and loved beyond measure.

Frank lifts me to my feet stares deeply into my eyes for a few moments and then presses up against me kissing gently. I respond almost immediately despite my thoughts and heart racing. His lips are soft like rose petals and I bend down slightly to deepen the kiss. It feels magical that is the only way I can describe it. It feels like fireworks are being set off in my chest, bats are flying around in my stomach, and my very being was set on fire. But in a good way.

Eventually we both pull away flustered and a bit out of breath.

“I--” I start and then stop and proceed to just blush uncontrollably.

Frank chuckles at this, “Come on lets go to bed.”

I freeze slightly, “Frank…” I begin cautiously, “This might sound strange but we uh we don’t have to do anything do we?”

Frank smiles reassuringly at me, “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want princess. We don’t even have to sleep in the same bed. I will willingly sleep on the floor.”

“No, no, that is not what I meant I just. I am sorry I am not making much sense. I guess I am just nervous.”

Frank frowns a little, “Gerard there is no reason to be nervous,” He hugs me tightly, “I will never push you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Never! What do you want to do?”

“I um…could we just cuddle?” I question a bit hesitantly hoping I don’t sound stupid.

“Of course my love.” Frank says kissing my forehead lightly and crawling into bed with me hugging me from behind.

Notes

I hope you're happy.
Song of the Chapter: Pins and Needles by Billy Talent