Save Me From My Self-Destruction

“You won’t lose me.” I whispered. Gerard kissed me again, and then he held my cheeks while his nose rested on mine. I wiped Gerard’s cheeks dry. “I promise.”

“You’ll get better.” Gerard whispered. He looked at my left arm, more specifically my suicide line. He ran fingers over the scar, making me shiver. He moved away from me.
Gerard held my hand, stroking his thumb over mine. He brought my knuckles to his soft lips, kissing them all gently. I blushed and smiled. Gerard then moved on to kiss all of my scars. I was blushing and giggling. Gerard kissed both of my arms, every scar and every cut. We were like that for half an hour, Gerard just kissing my scars while I watched him. I was shivering and shaking from the breeze from the half open window. Okay, mostly from Gerard’s lips on my soft and fragile skin. I had goose bumps.
When Gerard had finished with kissing my forearms, he sat up. “Cold?”

“Yeah…” I breathed quietly.

Gerard got up and pulled the window closed. He started to pack our things away into the closet. Mostly mine and his clothes. Then he started putting my books and his art supplies into the bedside table. Top draw for my comics, second draw for his art supplies. He opened the bottom draw next. “Close your eyes, Frankie.”

“Why?” I asked, frowning.

“What I’m about to put in here….it’s a secret.” Gerard smiled up at me. I put my hands over my eyes. I peeked through the gap to watch him. He opened his bag and pulled out….

A bright fucking purple fucking dildo. What the fuck was that for? Oh- it also had a remote.
Okay, so a bright purple fucking vibrating dildo. I had to ask why he had that. I had to.

“What’s that for?” I asked, taking my hands away.

“Uh- it’s…I take it everywhere just in case?” Gerard said, more like a question than a statement. I swallowed.

“Are you sure? I’ve never seen it before…”

“No, duh, I keep it hidden.” He put it in the draw and closed it. I was blushing just as much as he was. “Um…it’s just in case….”

I laughed, rolling backwards on the bed. I put the pillow over my face as I squealed from laughing. Out of nowhere, I felt Gerard tackle me. He tickled me, poking about my ribs.

“Gee! Gee! Stop! Stop! Ger-ard I mean it! Ah-!” I gasped as Gerard kissed my neck, right on my pulse point. He began sucking it softly. I moaned quietly, making him smirk. He carried on sucking, stroking his hands over my ribs and feeling the dip between each one. I whined, I wanted to go slow, not like this. I tried to push Gerard off of me, which proved to be difficult due to my weakness. He seemed to get the picture anyway, pulling away.

“Sorry…” he said shyly, rubbing where he sucked. “You’ve got a little hickey…”

“A hickey…?” I mumbled, rubbing where Gerard sucked.

“It’s a little love bite.” Gerard smiled.

“I know what a hickey is.” I raised an eyebrow at him, making him giggle.

“You’re so cute!” he scooped me up into his lap. He sat me on his knee and rubbed my chest. After a minute of that, he put his hand up my shirt and rubbed my flat tummy softly. Then he spun me around so I could rest my head on his shoulder. I did so and Gerard carried on rubbing my tummy. Slowly, he moved his hands up to my chest. He stroked over my ribs, sticking his fingers in the gaps between them and making me squirm. We were on our own like this for an hour before someone knocked on the door.

Gerard lifted me off of his lap and placed me in bed. He got up and opened the door. I couldn’t see who it was. I heard voices though.

“Gerard, we have decided to put Frank’s drip in today. Is that okay?” It was Sally.

“Of course.” Gerard smiled and led her in. She had a lot of medical looking things with her, all piled onto a trolley. I swallowed thickly.

Sally began to set up, standing a long pole-thing on some wheels. I didn’t watch the rest, I closed my eyes.

When she was done, she told me to open my eyes. “I’m going to put your drip in now, to get it over and done with. You will be fed by it today in about two hours. Do you have any allergies?”
“I’m a vegetarian and I don’t like to eat dairy, but no allergies.” I replied, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Okay. This will only take a second.” She was holding a long clear tube…that was going in my nose. Gerard took my hand and I squeezed it.

“You’re not giving birth, Frankie, calm down.” He laughed. Sally began to put the tube through my nose. I sniffed a little, before backing away and sneezing. Gerard giggled a little “Bless you, poppet.”

I blushed and closed my eyes. Sally started putting the drip in again, I held my breath. I could feel it, it felt horrible. I screwed my nose up and made a noise.

“It’ll be over in a second.” Sally said quietly, pushing the tube deeper. I nearly gagged. Then I heard tape being ripped, and then I felt tiny strips of it being stuck to my right cheek, holding the tube in place. I opened my eyes. I followed the tube round and it was hooked on that pole thing. Gerard smiled at me as Sally ruffled my hair. “There you go. Later on today, I or a different nurse will bring liquidized food in a pouch round. It’ll get put on the stand and your drip will get attached to it. It will go through your tube and into your stomach. I’ll be off now.” She gathered her things and left.

I screwed my nose up.

“What does it feel like?” Gerard asked.

“Like there’s a tube in my nose and down my throat.” I replied lamely. He smiled and kissed my head.
“You’re still adorable.” He wrapped his arms around me just as the door went again.

“What the fuck?” I mumbled.

Notes

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XoAmber