Marceline traced the outside of the gate staring down at her feet. She stuck to the same path she took earlier, not really sure she wanted to venture off and get lost, although it didn't sound like such a bad idea as she wasn't exactly excited about going home. She hated calling it home, it hadn't been a home in years. A car horn startled her out of her thoughts, turning around she saw Frank, Gerard, Mikey and Ray waving as they turned down the road. Marceline smiled big and waved as she watched the drive out of view. They were all so nice to her, she wished she was able to hang out with them. Sighing loud she reached into her bag and grabbing her headphones turning the music all the way up.

Let me open up the discussion with, I'm not impressed with any mother fucking word I say. See I lied that I cried when he came inside and now I'm burning a highway to Hades.

Reaching the small brick house, she noticed that her fathers car wasn't outside. He's not home she thought thanking God. She could take a shower in peace. She unlocked the door in a quick and timely manner. Dropping her bag on the floor she walked into the kitchen to check the fridge. Looking past the milk that spoiled two weeks ago, she noticed the half full can of beer which meant her father intended to return within the hour. He never saved a can of beer unless it's his last can. Shit. Closing the fridge, and grabbing for her bag she jogged up the stairs headed for her bathroom.

Shut the fuck up! When I'm trying to think, I got to keep my concentration give me one more drink and then I'll try to remember all the advice that my good book told me.

Wasting no time she turned on the hot water, pulling back her curtain. Stripping her clothes in record time she stepped into the scalding hot water. It was awkwardly quiet which both brought her immense comfort and discomfort at the same time. She usually always turned the radio on but she felt like she was racing the clock. She lathered up her body while she listened for any sigh of the car pulling into the driveway. The water was relaxing drifting her away to a dreamland she only wished she could stay in, she wished she could fully enjoy it. Marceline never had time to enjoy anything anymore.

And all the lost souls say...

She wanted to wash her hair but after hearing the sound of her fathers car she decided otherwise. Shutting the water off she grabbed her towel and ran out of her bathroom to lock her door. She sighed as she pressed her forehead against her door. It shouldn't be this hard. She hated that she couldn't just breathe in this house. Throwing her towel on her desk she started to get dressed as she heard a knock on her door. Oh God.

Everyday I wake up, every day I wake up alone. Kill me, just kill me. Or get me out of the sun.

"Hello?" Marceline asked quietly, afraid of what answer might be.

"Marceline honey?"

Who the fuck is... "Who... Who are you?" She waited for an answer.

"Paula. I'm your fathers friend. He wants you to come down to cook dinner."

Marceline shook her head. Her fathers "Friend" she knew what that meant. "I'm getting dressed, tell him I'll be down soon." Quickly slipping into her underwear, she pulled out a simple white dress. Whenever her father brought woman over he expected her to wine and dine and wait on them all night until he took her to bed.

Drugs, bars, back seats of cars. Blowing boys, what a boring life I've led so far. Just a prime thirteen when I rode his machine. Tried to keep my body dirty and my eyes closed and clean.

Pulling her hair up into a high bun and slipped on her flats as she made her way down the stairs when noticed the busty blonde sitting on her fathers lap. She was a good looking woman, full in all the right places. She had to have been a beauty queen, the way she wore blue eye shadow and bright pink lips.

"Hi Miss." Marceline smiled at the woman as she walked into the kitchen. "Dad, what do you want for dinner.

He looked over at her like he wanted to choke her for asking "A steak. You already know what I want."

"I'm sorry, I just thought maybe you wanted something different tonight because of company."

"No one told you to think." He stared at the girl for a second before turning his attention back to Paula.

Marceline leaned against the counter listening to her stomach growling, she was a little dizzy but she told herself that she would eat after her father took Paula to bed. The air smelled like rosemary and lemons as she continued to cut veggies for her fathers meal. She cooked him dinner most nights although she rarely ate when he was awake, when she did he would grab food off her plate telling her how fat she was the entire time.

"Marceline, come out here!" she heard her father yell, pulling her out of her thoughts once more.

So with a wink and a smile and a vial of meth, I took his hand and we walked through the shadow of death and then I try to remember all the advice that my teacher told me.

Grabbing two beers out of the fridge, Marceline walked quietly into the living room not really sure what she was going to expect. Her father always kept her on edge. After opening and handing them both beers, her father motioned her to sit down. He never had her sit with him and his "friends".

"You have a very pretty name Marceline. Where did you get it from?" Paula asked.

"My mother." She said in a cruel and unwavering tone, until she noticed the look her father gave her. "Her sisters name is Marcelia, she named me after her."

She turned her lip up slightly at the answer. "That's sweet, but I have to know, where do you get that beautiful brown skin from? What tanning products do you use?"

Marceline sat there with a pained look on her face, did this woman really ask her if she tanned? Paula continued to look at her while she was waiting for her answer, running her eyes over her legs as if she was trying to imagine what she would look like in her skin. "My mother was black, I get my color from her and my eyes and my smile and basically everything else from her. Thank you." Standing up Marceline turned towards them once more "Please excuse me while I get your food." Picking up her pace she headed for the kitchen, but not before her father smacked her on her ass, stumbling she tried to hold her composure. She may have been afraid of him, but she knew better than to show her fear.

Everyday I wake up, everyday I wake up alone. Kill me, just kill me. Or get me out of the sun.

While steadying their plates on her arms she grabbed two more beers, she just had to serve their food and she should be fine. "Dad, I'm really tired, and I have school in the morning. May I head off to bed?"

He popped the top to his beer can and looked her straight in the eyes. "I don't know Marceline, can you?"

She sighed hard. "I don't know dad, that's why I'm asking."

Her father snorted as he sat his plate down next to him, picking up the remote control her threw it at her hitting directly below her right eye. "Watch your mouth you disrespectful little bitch!" He got up so fast, she didn't have proper time to even register what was happening. Towering over her, reeking of alcohol and sweat, he leaned down and lowered his voice so only she could hear him. "Don't think for one fucking second you're going to mouth off to me and not get punished. Go to bed."

Scared she backed away, knowing what he meant. She already was going to have one black eye, she wasn't prepared to have to answer for two and a busted lip. "Dad.. please. No."

"Go to bed Marceline, isn't that what you wanted?" He said laughing while going to sit back on the couch.

Marceline froze, terrified of what her father was going to do. She didn't want this, she didn't want any of this. Kill me, just kill me.

---

Laying in bed, Marceline hoped that her father would be satisfied enough with Paula that he would forget about beating her face in and fall asleep. If she were ever so lucky. Paula seemed like a nice enough woman, but she had to have known that her father was a terrible man or was he only that way to her? Was he living another life outside of their home? Was he actually kind and caring towards people? The thought humored her, but it had to have been something. Why else would a woman like her be with a man like him? Unless she was just as desperate and he was. Hearing loud cries of pleasure, Marceline tool it as her disturbing cue to finally get some rest.

"JOEL, STOP IT!" Marceline shot up in her bed, heart racing. Glancing over at her clock, angrily reading 2 am. "JOEL" Pulling back the covers, she quietly walked out into the hallway, unsure of what she was about to walk into.

"It's so nice of you to join us Marceline." Her father said, wrapping his fat hands around Paula's neck. She struggled to push him off, and with him being so much bigger than her, she didn't stand a chance.

What was she supposed to do? Wide eyed and scared, she knew that if she didn't try to make for her phone upstairs that Paula would surely die, and no matter what kind of woman she was, she didn't deserve that. Swallowing hard, she turned on her heels and ran back upstairs. Time seemed to be trying to freeze, as every time her feet would settle against the wood steps, she felt slower and slower. Turning the corner to her room, her legs buckled under her. Hearing Paula take a deep breath meant that her father wasn't chocking her anymore, which meant he was after her. Scrambling to her feet, she swore her heart was going to beat out of her chest she slipped into her room, realizing it was too late to lock her door. She dialed 911 but before she could hit call, her father made it into her room lunging himself at her. Kicking at him, she tried not to cry. She couldn't let him pin her down, for she knew she didn't have the upper body strength to push him off.

"Marceline, you fucking brat." He growled pinning her shoulders down to bed.

She used all of her strength to knee him in the crotch, but she was too slow and he blocked the blow with his thigh. He was angry and he wanted to make sure she knew that, backhanding her so hard across her face she lost her focus.

"You little bitch, when did you get so brave? Were you trying to save the day?" He laughed pulling down her shorts to her ankles.

Marceline's eyes widened in shock. No. No no no.... Kicking and flailing her arms and legs in any direction possible she made a final attempt to get him off of her. He slapped her again, this time even harder. The room went pitch black, as the stars danced behind her eyes.

"Marceline, stay the fuck still." Without warning he forced himself inside of her.

She screamed. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be happening to her. She was powerless and he knew that. Was this what he was talking about? How could he do this to her, his own daughter. As she laid there, she couldn't help but wonder what happened to Paula and how come she didn't call for anyone. Was she alive? Did she leave her here to face his wrath? Marceline tried to block everything out but it was hard to think of rainbows and butterflies when her father was sliding his fat fingers up her legs. If she had no emotions towards this, she wouldn't feel any pain or at least that's what she was telling herself. She wanted to be anywhere but in that room, with her disgusting waste of a father plowing her down. She wanted to die, not figuratively but literally die. A sting on her face, brought her back down to her reality. Joel looked spent and seemed almost frustrated that she wasn't paying him any attention. He rubbed his thumb along her throat, and she swallowed hard. Laughing as he gently squeezed at her throat. She sobbed terrified that he was going to kill her. Pulling out, he climbed off her bed, walking towards the door.

"Next time you'll think twice before you mouth off to me." he slammed the door. "Fucking bitch."

Staring up at the ceiling Marceline started laughing and crying hysterically. Her vision was slowly coming back and she could see the red light of her alarm clock flashing violently against the wall. She couldn't help but laugh, her mother would die and leave her here with this monster of a father. Normal people don't do things like that to their only daughter. She cooked, cleaned and catered to him every single day, and no matter what she did he was never happy with her. She never heard a good job from him, or a thank you. She never received a hug or a goodnight. What did she ever do wrong? What did she ever do to deserve the life she was living? She wondered as she rolled over still crying, pulling the blanket above her head. All that was heard were soft, choking cries, as she drifted off to sleep.

Notes

Update:
June 13th, 2017.