Your eyes are vacant & stained (frerard)

FRANK’S P.O.V
“Are we going to school tomorrow?” Gerard asked, sighing a little.
“We can’t keep skipping school, honey,” I replied, as Gerard placed his head on my shoulder, staring at his wardrobe.
“Fine,” Gerard sniffed, a little.
“Extra tutoring we’ll go round yours tomorrow, then mine the next day, probably,” I announced. Gerard just nodded. “Hey, don’t be upset,”
I lifted his chin up, slightly.
“I’m scared,” He whispered.
“You’ll be okay,” I reassured him. “I’ll be with you,”
Gerard glanced down, sighing again. I pulled him on my lap, wrapping my arm around his waist. He placed his head on my chest. He probably heard my heart beat pick up.
“Thank you for everything, again, Frank,” Gerard spoke, softly. I laughed, a little.
“Its fine,” I smiled.
“God, I’m still hungry,” Gerard rubbed his eyes, getting up from me, unfortunately, and searching his room to see what he could eat. He finally found some chocolate and began munching on it. “Do you want any?”
“I’m fine, thanks,” I answered. Gerard just shrugged and finished the chocolate.
“I wonder how Pete is,” Gerard tapped his chin. “Or if they are still here,”
Gerard like Pete and I had to admit I was very, very, very, jealous. They were so close, like really close! Thank God Pete loves Mikey, though.
“Hmm,” I muttered. Gerard yawned, placing a hand over his mouth before snuggling underneath his covers, and nuzzling into my side.
“Goodnight, Frank,” Gerard giggled, a little, at my surprised face that he was sleeping already.
“Goodnight, butterfly,” I smirked at Gerard’s eye-roll, and then he turned off his lamp, clutching the cloth of my t-shirt and making his adorable sleeping noises.
- - -
When I woke up, Gerard was already changed for school. I walked to the bathroom and got changed myself, the stuff out of my shoulder bag, and returned to his room. He had his sketchbook and was doodling, biting the top of his pencil, thoughtfully. I laughed, quietly, before appearing behind him and seeing what he was drawing. It was a butterfly.
“A metaphor,” I spoke. “You’re drawing yourself,”
“No,” Gerard shook his head, directing the butterfly drawing towards me. He had written in the wings in neat, elegant writing ‘thank you’. “I hope you don’t get bored of my drawings,”
“No!” I exclaimed as he coloured it in with his sharpies, then handed it to me.
“Better go to school,” Gerard sighed, and stood up, we climbed up the stairs to see Pete and Mikey. “Where’s Kristin?”
“She went home yesterday,” Mikey stated.
“But Pete slept around?” Gerard cocked an eyebrow, smirking.
“Y-yeah,” Mikey stammered, a little. Gerard just continued to smirk, mischievously, as we walked out, and to school.
- - -
I had to admit, I wish we did skip it. Teaching the class was horrendous, they were all misbehaved, and some were just plain irritating. Others were just annoyingly quiet. I was thankful when I stumbled out of the school, meeting Gerard by a pillar that held up the building.
“Let’s fucking leave his hell,” I laughed.
“Wow, that’s bad of you to say, sir,” Gerard chuckled. “You’re supposed to like school,”
“Not when the kids are being idiots,” I muttered.
- - -
We arrived at Gerard’s house.
“So, what’s been-”
“It’s the same.” Gerard answered before I finished my sentence. “My appearance, my personality, the bullying, the self-loathe, the parents, everything,”
“There is nothing wrong with you appearance, it’s perfect, you’re personality, it’s perfect… The bullying is stopping now, because you’re with me most of the time. The parents… They are just stupid! You’re a wonderful person. And the self-loathe,” I paused, reaching for his hand. “Look at me,”
Gerard lifted his gaze up, his eyes latching onto mine.
“You shouldn’t hate yourself, you’re beautiful,” My fingers skimmed his cheek bone, and then traced the muscle of his jaw. “So beautiful,”
“I disagree, but thank you,” Gerard whispered.
“You shouldn’t disagree, you’re the most perfect human I’ve ever met,” I replied.
“You’re lying,” Gerard sighed.
“How do you know?” I retorted.
“Obviously, you think the guy that you love is the ‘most perfect human ever’, not me.” Gerard glanced up. I had no idea what I was going to say.
“You’re both the same,” That was saying the truth because they really are both the same – they are both the same people.
“Yeah, right,” Gerard muttered underneath his breath.
“Gerard, trust me, to me, you’re perfect, please,” We stood opposite each other but he refused to look at me.
“I’m not, I’ll never be perfect, I’ll just be ugly and-”
“You’re not ugly!” I almost shouted – you could hear the annoyance and frustration in my voice. It was how much I wanted him to believe me. Gerard looked taken aback by the outburst.
“I-I’m s-sorry, I c-can’t h-help i-it,” Gerard stuttered. I sighed.
“No, its fine, I was just annoyed that you keep on calling yourself that when it’s not true. You’re so, so, so perfect, Gerard,” I insisted.
“Really?” He sounded a little hopeful. It was eating me alive. The fact I couldn’t have him, the fact I couldn’t even tell him. I wanted him so badly. I knew this was taking advantage of his problem, but I just… I just wanted him so much. I needed him. I want him to know that. I want him to know that he is the most perfect human I’ve ever met. That he is the guy I love. But, the rejection, I could get locked up in jail, Gerard would move schools, I’ll never see him again. He’ll get another boyfriend – or even girlfriend, if he changed his sexuality. His lips looked so inviting, so tempting, it was getting too much. The fact he was so beautiful, and so innocent, made me go insane. I imagined what his lips would taste of… Coffee? Sweet? Sour? I imagine whatever the taste it would be good. His beautiful face, his beautiful body, he was so beautiful… I just couldn’t stand being there anymore; he was too perfect and too kind for his own good. He probably had loads of people falling to his feet, begging for his love without him even realising it. Yeah, he may think I’m attractive, but that isn’t much, really. I wanted him. I wanted him to love me back. To kiss me.
“Frank?” Gerard awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “You sort of zoned out,”
“Yeah,” I cleared my throat. “I’m just thinking…”
“I can see that,” Gerard giggled, a little, showing his adorable baby teeth.
“Hey,” I laughed, breathlessly, attempting not to get too distracted but it was impossible. He looked so… Angelic. So pure. Like his voice. His mesmerising singing voice described him; perfect. Since when I first saw Gerard Way, I knew that this would be how it ended. And, then I realised, I didn’t want a life without him. I had made a choice.
“Gerard,” I could feel myself shake, a little.
“Yes?” Gerard glanced up, smiling at me.
“Can I just…” How could I do this? “Right, I’m going to do something,”
“What?” Curiosity crossed his face.
“You can run away, you can never look back, you can hate me all you want… Do whatever you want in your life… Just promise me one thing,” I looked at him, hopefully.
“What’s that?” Gerard prompted me.
“Promise me you won’t run away from your family, you can run away from me, not from your family. You need them. They need you.” I blinked.
“Fine, I promise,” Gerard sighed. “But, I wouldn’t run away from you anyway,”
“Oh you would,” I laughed, a little weirdly.
“What?” Gerard appeared confused.
“I’m sorry, I know it isn’t right, I know I shouldn’t but I can’t control myself…” I whispered. I took in the perfect view of Gerard, his long, tangled, knotted black hair, his stunning, hazel orbs, his nice figure, his upturned nose, his quirky smile.
And, then I did something.








I kissed him.

Notes

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