Your eyes are vacant & stained (frerard)

GERARD’S P.O.V
It was fun spending all day with Frank, no school or anything. We were about to order in some dinner, when a knock settled on my door.
“Come in!” I yelled. Mikey appeared, looking a little flustered. What does he want now?
“Kristin is here…” Mikey paused. “And Pete,”
“Pete?” I echoed. “As in Pete-”
“I and Pete did a project together previously…” Mikey explained, slowly. “Do you want to meet Kristin?”
I frowned.
“Pete is better,” I muttered. “Alright, whatever, bring her in,”
“Why is Frank here?”
“Extra tutoring,” I quickly replied.
“Ah, right,” Mikey understood, nodding. “Kristin! Pete!”
I heard some footsteps come down the stairs.
“Pete, wait there for-”
“Let me see him! I know him more than Kristin does!” I heard Pete’s, normally cheery, voice. I smiled. I noticed Frank fidget a little, I leaned closer to him, my heart rate picking up and whispered,
“Sorry about this,” In his ear. He smiled, a gorgeous smile, at me.
“Its fine, honey,” He murmured, his eyes were swallowing me, literally. He was staring at me like crazy, like I was the only human there. Like I was the only human ever. And, I loved it when he called me ‘honey’, it made my heart melt, no exaggeration. Frank pushed strands of hair behind my ear, and I was quite thankful we weren’t alone, because I swear I would’ve blurted out that I love him and that would’ve gone awfully wrong. I heard a door slam, and Mikey and Kristin were in the room.
“Why the fuck have you left Pete outside? That’s rude,” I stood up, unfortunately breaking mine and Frank’s eye contact.
“Kristin-”
“Let him in,” I interrupted. Mikey sighed, something like pain crossed his face, but he shook it away. He swung open the door, and Pete stepped in. Pete had jet black hair, his fringe draped over his eyes, and heavy eyeliner with a few tattoos even if he was 17 – he looked 18, therefore, he passed.
“Pete!” I literally jumped and ran towards him. “I haven’t seen you in ages!”
“Gerard!” Pete hugged me, tightly. Frank winced, however, I didn’t notice.
Mikey cleared his throat. I recognised the emotion in his eyes. Jealousy. Why was he jealous? He had Kristin. Mikey introduced me to Kristin, as Pete watched over, looking pretty annoyed. Kristin was really nice, actually, I just… I’m closer to Pete, just because he used to be my closest friend, and I thought Mikey would really suit him. But, Kristin was good for Mikey. Even if my brother didn’t care about me, I still looked out for him. No matter what. I will always protect my little brother. Kristin left to go and eat upstairs, and so did Mikey, although he did look as if he wanted to stay, I had to admit.
“Pete, this is Fr- Mr Iero, my tutor,” I introduced Pete to perfection. Pete nodded.
“Alright, mate?” He grinned at Frank. Frank nodded, silently. I sat next to Frank, and Pete sat on my desk chair, looking around my room. “You haven’t changed, Gerard.”
“Nope,” I laughed, slightly.
“How’s your problem?” He cocked his head, a little.
“It’s okay, you can speak about it, Frank, I mean Mr Iero, knows.” I corrected myself, really quickly, Pete didn’t notice.
“How’s he been doing, sir?” Pete queried to Frank.
“He’s been doing pretty well…” Frank replied.
“That’s good to hear,” Pete smiled. “Is there any dicks in your school that I need to go and beat up in revenge?”
I giggled, unstoppably.
“Yeah, just a few,” I smirked.
“No, I’m serious. They better not have laid a finger on you or I’ll fucking kill them,” Pete hissed.
“Pete, they did… But its fine,” I whispered, quietly. Pete was so protective over me, he called me his brother when we were best friends.
“It’s not fine, Gerard. Please, listen to me. You don’t deserve that. I’ve told you many times.” Pete sighed, his eyes latching on the trees outside my house through my window.
“I do-”
I stopped myself from saying anymore when I felt Frank’s arm wrap around my waist, tugging me closer to him. I blinked, surprised, and snuggled into his side. Pete didn’t really comment, I didn’t even know if he noticed. Probably not.
“I think your help, though, Gerard,” Pete began.
“My help? You’re usually the one that helps me,” I chuckled.
“It’s about Mikey,” He announced.
“Go ahead,” I shrugged.
“I love him,” Pete sighed, loudly. “But, he’s with that girl. I was going to ask him, but, he got with Kristin. He sort of started ignoring me, then he went with Kristin.”
“Urgh, Pete! You should’ve asked earlier! He loved you,” I let loose the secret Mikey had told me.
“Oh,” Pete glanced down at his black top, sadly. “Damn,”
“He was jealous when you hugged me, though, I can tell. I can see through Mikey like anything. I think he still has feelings for you. I hope he does, you’re an amazing guy,” I grinned. Pete looked up, hopefully.
“Thank you, sweetheart!” Pete cheered. He often called people names like that when he was happy. I grinned.
“No problem, Mr Wentz,” I replied. Pete laughed.
“So… What should I do though? Do I just act normal or?” Pete asked, itching his head.
“Hmm… Drop hints. Call him nicknames. Get close to him again. Make him feel special, he loves nice people,” I offered the advice.
“Thanks, Gerard,” Pete ran a hand through his hair, revealing his pretty nice eyes as he brushed his fringe out the way.
“You need a haircut,” I commented.
“Hey! I like this style, thank you very much.” Pete retorted.
“Oh, so emo,” I joked.
“Yup,” Pete stood up. “I better go and-”
“Hi!” Mikey exclaimed, balancing some meals on his arms. “Here I cooked dinner for you all,”
“Thanks, Mikes!” I stared at Frank who smiled, a little, at me, still remaining silent.
“Thanks, hon.” Pete couldn’t help but smile. Mikey seemed a little startled, a faint blush rising on his cheeks. I smirked, taking in the view, before Mikey handed me the plate.
“Sorry for everything, I’ve been an idiot, recently. Mum and Dad hate you because of me,” Mikey sighed, sitting on the bed in front of me.
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine. It’s mine for being stupid, and not being able to get good grades, it’s mine for having this problem, it’s mine for being ugly so no one likes me, it’s mine-”
“No!” Frank and Pete and Mikey all said at once.
“It’s not your fault!” Mikey replied.
“You’re none of those things!” Pete replied.
“Gerard, how many times do I have to say, that you’re perfect?” Frank whispered to me. I shivered with pleasure at his breath hitting my skin.
“Whatever, guys,” I mumbled. “Work on your project,”
“It’s been amazing to see you, Gerard.” Pete stood up. “I’m going to miss you. I’ve been missing you loads,”
“I’ve missed you too, Pete.” I smiled at him.
“You won’t miss him,” Mikey stated, clearing his throat. We all looked puzzled. “I will invite you over more, so you’ll see him.”
“Thank you, Mikey!” Pete squealed, and hugged Mikey, tightly. Mikey looked taken aback, but grinned, pushing his glasses to his face and hugging Pete back. I sighed, softly. Pete thinks his love life is hard. Mine was worse. I waved to them as they all left my room, and I shut the door behind them.
- - -
“You seem to like Pete,” Frank stated.
“Yeah, he’s nice,” I sighed, a little, and sat down beside him. Frank was staring at me, again, the same way he did before.
“You look so… Amazing,” He murmured. I glanced up from the bed sheets, a visible blush on my cheeks.
“Err, thanks, but-”
“No, there is no ‘but’. And you’re definitely not ugly like you said you were. That’s a horrible word, and the complete opposite of what you are. You’re so…” Frank trailed off, he spoke something to himself, shaking his head.
“Frank,” His name felt so nice on my tongue. “I don’t know how I can repay you for all the things you’ve done for me,”
“You don’t have to, honey,” Frank’s fingers grazed my cheek, and he leaned in and kissed me on the forehead, softly. He was driving me insane.
“I do,” I whispered, a little loss for words.
“No,” Frank shook his head. “You don’t,”
“I wish I could believe you,” I really did. I really wish I could agree with him. But I don’t. And I won’t. I won’t ever agree with him. And I was sorry for that.
“It’s makes me sad that you can’t see how unbelievably perfect you are,” Frank answered. “And that’s why you remind me of a butterfly,”
“Huh? Why?” I frowned.
“Because, butterflies are beautiful, they are perfect. But, they can’t see themselves. They can’t see their wonderful coloured wings. They can’t see it. And that’s like you. You can’t see how amazing you are.” Frank spoke, swiftly. It left me speechless, I had no idea what to say.
“Butterflies die out,” I finally replied.
“They die out because they are so easily damaged, they are so fragile, and you are also that. They also stand out, because of their stunning colours. Things envy them, so they don’t want them to be there,” Frank retorted. He was good at this.
“But, people don’t envy me. I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m scarred and cut, and I’m just… Nobody.” I whispered.
“Butterflies think things don’t acknowledge them, that they are still that caterpillar they were. Butterflies think they are still that chubby caterpillar. But, they aren’t. They’re thin, they’re healthy… They are fantastic. Much like you.” Frank explained.
“Yes, but butterflies are always alone,” I protested. Frank shook his head.
“They’re alone because they think no other butterfly – or anyone else, cares. But, when they’re with another living thing, they are so happy.” Frank countered.
“That’s true, I’m happy when I’m with you,” I admitted. “You’re so smart,” I sighed.
“And so are you.” Frank replied. I shook my head.
“I can’t focus-”
“Hush. This is why you’re a butterfly. Butterflies don’t focus, they don’t know anything about how pretty they are, or how their life could be taken away before they know it…” Frank smiled at me. His perfect smile, his perfect face, his perfect body… He’s just perfect.
“But, I’m not a butterfly.” I disagreed.
“Gerard,” Frank touched my chin, making me look at him. “You may not be one, but you remind me of one. You are a human version. You’re beautiful, just accept that.”

Notes

im crying goodbye