Your eyes are vacant & stained (frerard)

GERARD’S P.O.V
Frank seemed sort of distracted on our extra tutoring; therefore, he decided we should just hang out… I admit, I was sort of distracted today, too, mainly because I couldn’t stop thinking of him, but that was just like every day for me… Anyway, I didn’t mind – I love hanging out with Frank.
- - -
“I totally think Misfits are rad,” Frank stated, throwing some random CDs at me.
“Yeah… They’re one of my favourite bands, along with Black Flag, Smashing Pumpkins, The Smiths, etc…” I explained, smirking a little, whilst attempting to gather up all the CDs. Frank turned around and helped me collect them.
“So, why are The Smiths your favourite band?” He queried.
“They taught me revenge… They made me fall in love and be obsessed with revenge, and I love that… I probably sound really weird, sorry.” I blushed, slightly, and attempted to get Frank’s attention on something else.
“No, no, no. That’s awesome – that’s how I feel about most bands! Revenge... I adore it.” Frank halted me, as I probably appeared really panicky because I thought he’d judge me. He gripped his soft hands in mine. “Never be scared to say your opinion, okay?”
My cheeks flamed red at the contact, every little touch Frank gave me made my cheeks turn into tomatoes.
“I…” I couldn’t form a sentence, he had to stare into my eyes and that just makes him so much more…Approachable. No. He doesn’t think of me that way… No one will think of me that way. I’m just a waste of space. Like I always said. I felt my sadness wash over me again and I dropped Frank’s hands, sighing heavily and plonking myself on Frank’s bed. I laid down on it, and placed my head on his pillow, nuzzling into it, hoping to keep the scent forever, as Frank would never love me… Of course he wouldn’t! He’s my fucking tutor and I’m just a nerdy little shy stupid kid. Yeah. That’s me.
“Gerard, what’s wrong?” Frank rushed by my side, I had obviously started crying without myself even acknowledging it.
“Nothing, nothing.” I muttered, hugging Frank’s pillow.
“Gerard, honey, don’t hug the pillow, you can hug me, I won’t bite.” Frank removed my tangled hair that stuck to my face because of my tears.
“Honey?” I sniffed, the nickname made me feel better, yeah, for sure. Frank’s cheeks went a little red.
“I…Say that to my pupils,” Frank scratched the back of his neck. Oh. Just when I thought I was different. The tears streamed down my cheeks.
“What, do you do everything you do to me to all of your students? I’m not special, Frank, just tell me that. Stop lying to me! You do everything to me that you’re doing right now, to hundreds of students. Just…Well, I’m sorry for not working out the way you wanted me to be!” I exclaimed, sprinting from the bed and to the door which was the exit of his bedroom.
- - -
“Gerard! Wait! Please…” I was outside already, it was bitterly cold, surprising because a few days ago it was shining…Although it was evening, I guess. My teeth chattered and I had no idea how to get home from here, but anything was better than being in that room with Frank, who was telling me that everything he did to me, he did to his other pupils.
“That’s not what I meant, please…” Frank yelled, he was already slamming his door behind him. I decided to do what I always did. Run. Frank was pretty short; therefore, I was slightly faster than him, even if I was younger. My legs took long strides to a nearby forest, and I collapsed by a tree. I knew my parents wouldn’t care where I am.
“Gerard,” Frank breathed, heavily. “Please, stop…Running,”
“Why did you follow me?” I whispered, he probably heard in my voice that I was crying. Frank slumped by the tree beside me.
“Because…What you said…It wasn’t true,” Frank’s breathing was raspy, and it really turned me on, which was slightly annoying because I was supposed to be mad with him. “I only said that I said ‘honey’ to all my other students because I was worried how you would react,”
Frank’s eyes stared at the floor.
“It makes me feel better….But, still, how do I know that you don’t-”
“Gerard, listen to me!” Frank stood up, and hulled me up, too. “Listen,” His face was dangerously close to mine, his lips were just inches away. I swallowed, hard, scared of my own temptations.
“You’re my only student that I give extra tutoring too, so I don’t do this with other students. Even if I have other students for extra tutoring, I still wouldn’t treat them as well as I do with you… There’s just something special about you…” Frank tucked my hair behind my ears.
“Special?” I whispered, it was dark but my cheeks were clearly scarlet.
“Special.” Frank confirmed. “Don’t run away from me, please, stop doing that.”
I glanced up; his eyes were filled with concern and worry, and something else… Always that stupid emotion I couldn’t figure out… Maybe it wasn’t for me.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. Frank pulled me closer to him, I was shivering because of the cold.
“You cold?” Frank questioned. I nodded, silently, squirming closer, eager to get some of his body heat. “Stay over mine for the night, I’ll get some hot chocolate and thick duvets and we can watch Night of the Living Dead, okay?”
I nodded, rapidly, happy with that idea.
- - -
I sighed, as Frank closed his door, and I strolled back to my house. It was the weekend, and I had told myself to ask Frank to hang out with me but, I backed out…As usual. My phone vibrated furiously against my leg.
“Hello?” My voice was small, I knew it, I hated answering phone calls.
“Yo, it’s Bert! Fancy hanging out at the grey hound tonight? It’s a pub, if you didn’t know… Alcohol will be there, I promise,” Bert was so laid back, and chilled, it made me a little uncomfortable. I didn’t reply for a while. I knew Frank would murder me if he found out I drank alcohol, but it was my addiction, I couldn’t deny it… I couldn’t decline the precious, tempting offer.
“Okay, what time?” I muttered.
“Be there at half 9, tonight, on the dot. Don’t be late.” And with that, he abruptly hung up.
- - -
I ran a hand through my hair, as I tugged at random clothes in my wardrobe. I eventually pulled out my slightly worn out leather jacket, with a Misfits shirt and black jeans. I changed, rapidly, and messed up my hair – I liked it being untidy – then stuffed my phone in my pocket, along with my wallet and headed upstairs.
“Ma,” I shouted. Both parents arrived at my service. “I’m going out,”
“You’re socialising? Wait… It’s not with that Mr Iero, is it?” Mum groaned.
“No! And who cares if it was? He’s an amazing tutor, and has helped me a lot!” I yelled, and with that, I left, slamming the door behind me and striding to the pub, the bitter breeze biting at my skin through my clothes.
- - -
I arrived at the pub, half 9, sharp, as he said. A male with messy hair, but straighter than mine, was leaning against the counter, eyeing me as I approached him, his crooked smile on his face.
“Hey, Gerard. Glad you made it, bro.” He patted me on the back in a friendly gesture. “The drinks are on me, so go crazy! The bartender adores me; most of it will be free…”
“Okay, thanks,” My manners were a little too polite for his liking as he laughed, slightly.
“I like your top, by the way,” Bert gestured to my shirt.
“I like it, too.” I grinned cheekily at him, and then downed my first, strong shot.
“Want to race?” Bert suggested, lining up the, what looked like, hundreds of shots, for me and him. “First to down 15 shots wins,”
I thought for a second, Frank, in my mind, was telling me to walk out and turn my back on this… But, he didn’t really care did he? I was just another one of his students… I was his student. Nothing more. He probably didn’t even think of me as his friend. He probably does think of me as a waste of life… He just can’t admit it. With the thoughts sprinting through my mind, I turned to Bert, fighting back any stupid tears in my eyes.
“You’re on,” I chuckled at Bert’s surprised face, and then started downing all the shots. One, two, three, four, five, six… They all went down like lighting, I was good at bottles as well, but shots were far easier than that. I beat Bert.
“Who isssss the bessst now?” I slurred, slightly, feeling a little light-headed.
“You, you’re the best,” Bert smirked, shoving a large bottle in my hand. “Now, drink, you and I have plans,”
The gleam in his eye made me feel uncomfortable, but I nodded, and downed the whole thing. Bert pulled me over to the wall. Frank had entered the pub, but I DID NOT know at this point. I was giggly and slurry.
“Gerard, have you ever kissed a guy?” Bert twirled his hair around his finger like a girl would do if she saw her crush.
“Yeeeeeeeeaah,” I mumbled back, Bert wasn’t drunk. I was, of course.
“Kiss me?” Bert queried the hope showing in his eyes. I leaned in and pecked him on the lips, then pulled away after 5 seconds. I wasn’t going to get serious with him, of course, because I didn’t love him… I may have been drunk, but I knew my feelings.
“I need to go to the toilet, I’ll be back soon, and don’t you worry!” Bert winked then left. I stumbled over my steps slightly.
“Gerard?” The voice sounded familiar… I spun around, dizzily on my heel to see… Perfection. Frank was there, a mix of hurt, anger, sadness, comfort and…Jealousy? In his eyes.
“Fraaaaaaank, why are you here?” I poked him slightly, giggling.
“Gerard, you’re drunk… Why are you doing this? Please,” The hurt and agony in his voice made my brain work, you could hear it ticking.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, then began to run. I always run away from my emotions, from the bullies, from my parents, from my brother…From my love.

Notes

a/n: sorry for the sadness,,, sorry for the cliff hanger,, i will update asap.,, , <3

bY THE WAY,, guys can u check out my new frerard fanfic on wattpad and VOTE IT PLEASE,,, I WOULD //LOVE// U IF U VOTED FOR IT ND FOLLOWED ME ((i follow back !!)) ,,, here is the link to part 1... http://www.wattpad.com/50806939-someone-else%27s-angel-frerard-do-you-remember-that?d=ud thank u bbys