Your eyes are vacant & stained (frerard)

FRANK’S P.O.V
I was pissed off with Gerard’s parents. Majorly. How dare they come in and boast about Mikey when they know Gerard hates himself?! How dare they! Too right they left when I had a go at them.
“Gerard,” He was wrapped up in his duvet and sitting there, staring at the ceiling blankly. “What are you thinking?”
“About everything….” Gerard sighed, loudly. “About how I’ll never be able to get good grades, how I’ll never be able to get other friends, how I’ll never be able to overcome this hatred of myself, and… How I’ll never be able to be with this guy…”
The ending stabbed me in the heart…But, it’s what was causing him to be sad, along with the other stuff, so I had to put my jealousy and anger aside.
“I’m sure that guy knows your differences, I’m sure he will like you when he gets to know you,” I reached over and tucked locks of his hair behind his ear for him, shuffling closer.
“No…He won’t. I don’t even know if he thinks me as a friend…He just has to put up with me… I can’t be with him anyway… You won’t understand.” Gerard shook his head, sadness in his huge hazel orbs. It made me annoyed that he thought I wouldn’t understand, I’m sure my love for him is far more confusing and stronger than his love for this other lucky guy… Now, I was being selfish. I needed to stop. I needed to help Gerard, not bleat about how I love him. Why couldn’t I tell him? I love you, Gerard. You mean everything to me…. Why couldn’t I just open my mouth and say it?
Because I’m his tutor, that’s why.
- - -
It’s Friday. And guess who’s coming around for Gerard’s help again? What do you know; it’s that Bert-y boy.
“The headmaster asked me to ask you…” Something or rather. About some nonsense.
“Sure… And I’m sorry I haven’t called you! I lost your number somewhere in my room… My room is a mess,” Gerard blushed, slightly; both boys were completely unaware I was focusing on their conversation.
“It’s okay… Hey, why don’t you give me your number? I’ll be sure to call you… We could hang out on the weekend?” Bert leaned into Gerard and my anger went flying, seriously. My short fingernails dug into the wood of my desk.
“Yeah, here…” Gerard scribbled on some notes. I sighed to myself. I knew I never had a chance with Gerard… I was in my own thoughts, completely oblivious Gerard was sitting on my desk, as it was lunch, swinging his legs.
“Hi, sir…” Gerard poked me.
“Oh, hi!” I blushed, a little. Gerard giggled, cutely.
“I’m going to miss not seeing you on the weekends… You help me a lot.” Gerard jumped from the desk, standing next to me, leaning on my leather chair. The closeness made me happy, I had to admit. I wrapped an arm around him.
“I’m glad I help you… Just don’t drink, cutie pie,” I bopped his nose and his cheeks went a deep scarlet, it was adorable.
“‘Cutie pie’?” Gerard rolled his eyes.
“I…” I laughed, slightly. “Making you feel better by speaking the truth…”
“The truth? You’re full of lies, Fr- sir.” Gerard corrected.
“Okay so if I say that I’m a boy, am I lying?” That was immature of me, but it made Gerard chuckle.
“Yes,” Gerard nodded.
“You’re the princess, remember,” I shook my head. “Pretty princess,”
“Princess Gerard,” Gerard acted as he was a princess, holding his hand out for me to kiss. I took his soft hand and pulled it gently to my lips, and kissed it, delicately. Gerard’s cheeks flamed red again. I maintained eye-contact through all of it.
“Princess Gerard,” I agreed.
- - -
It was the last lesson of the day… And the one I was dreading the most… Yeah, it’s sexual education… The kids are horrendous to cope with, they go mad and immature. The guys and gals are separate, to talk about different things… And today, you know what’s up? Masturbation. Isn’t this going to be fun to talk to in front of Gerard? Not.
- - -
The females all giggled and went out of the classroom, talking in their little cliques, the boys were hooting at the subject. I dreaded this so much. I rolled my eyes to myself, not even bothering to quieten the bunch down. I laid back in my seat, spinning around until eventually the silence settled.
“If you continue to talk and laugh at this subject, we shall simply do nothing… And you all seemed excited about it, so why miss a chance?” I had to stop laughing myself, they all loved this subject and it showed how immature they were. Some were 16 years old; most of them were 17, for god’s sake. The class soon was silent. I told them what we were learning about, and I knew they were struggling to suppress their laughter, but none of them dared to laugh out loud.
“By the way, I have to go by the rules, I have a sheet of paper instructing what I do, even I’m not prepared for this subject,” I was informal with my class most of the time, which is why I told them that. I had to ask them…Questions.
“Right… Okay, so it says to ask you… Who has masturbated before...? Or as some other kids put it, ‘wanked’ or ‘jerked off’. Don’t be shy,” I couldn’t help it, I laughed a little after it, turning around to see some jocks shooting their hands up, the geeks at the back were completely horrified. I was surprised to find Gerard’s hand up, a little, next to him, his eyes on his desk, his other hand fiddling with the hem of his blazer, his cheeks red… Gerard has jerked off? That created a very very nice image in my mind…
“SIR!” One of the kids dared to shout, snapping me straight from my dirty little thoughts. I was thinking of my student like that? That’s wrong, it’s horrible… It’s taking advantage of him… It’s bad. But, I couldn’t help it. I shuddered with pleasure, my cheeks slightly pink.
“Anyway, so…” I put on a slide show, and switched off the lights, allowing the PowerPoint, which the headmaster had sent me, to contain all the information, while I relaxed in my seat, giving myself permission to trail off in thoughts…About Gerard. I smiled to myself, leaning back in my seat and I snuck at glance at Gerard to be shocked that he was staring…At me? His cheeks went a little red because he had been caught staring, and he focused on the desk. I actually almost groaned in frustration because I wanted him so much… The slide show finished, and I switched on the lights.
“Okay, be honest, how many of you are virgins?” As I expected, all the ‘geeks’ put their hands up, nattering to themselves about how it’s disgusting with all the sex… I found myself scanning the room, to see Gerard, without his hand up. He wasn’t a virgin…
Oh. Now, that made me bitterly annoyed, imagining him getting frisky with someone else… Until the image faltered to only him, sweating, moaning and fuck, not now, Frank… My cheeks went a dark red, hoping no one would notice and I spun around in my chair, facing the computer screen and put up something on the interactive whiteboard for the students to focus on as my thoughts were getting too much to handle.
“Fucking hell,” I muttered underneath my breath, shrinking into my seat.
- - -
The day ended, and it was the last tutoring session for the week. I wasn’t really feeling up to talking to Gerard when I had these stupid dirty erotic thoughts in my mind, it was driving me insane.
“Around mine, then?” I managed to speak. Gerard nodded, remaining silent as we clambered in my car. I still couldn’t get that fucking image out of my mind.
“You seem distracted,” Gerard whispered, his beautiful hazel eyes studying the road like it was the most important thing in the world. My grip tightened on my steering wheel, he had to notice everything, didn’t he?
“Yeah… I am distracted… But, don’t worry…” I said, dreamily.
“We don’t have to do this extra tutoring… I can walk home,” Gerard mumbled, fumbling with his blazer again.
“No!” I paused. “No,”
Gerard gave me a small smile.
- - -
I swung open my door, strolling with Gerard into the lounge and creating me and Gerard a large black coffee each. I handed him the steaming mug, smiling at him warmly.
“Thank you,” He sipped it, his gigantic, adorable eyes landing on me.
“No problem, ba-” I stopped myself from saying ‘babe’. What the fuck was I thinking today? I mentally smacked myself in the face.
“Ba…?” Gerard prompted.
“Nothing, nothing… Anyway, so what do you want to focus on? What subject or what problem?” I took the cup to my mouth, watching Gerard. Imagine if he said sex ed… No he wouldn’t. Hey, guess what? Imagine if he got you right now, and kissed you. No, mind, he wouldn’t. Hey! I know imagine if he allowed you to pin him against the wall and…
“Shut up, brain.” I hissed. Gerard giggled. “Oops,” I rolled my eyes at myself. I really wasn’t with it today. “How about we just hang out today? My mind isn’t really with it,” I bit my silver lip ring, awkwardly.
“I’d like that,” Gerard finished his coffee, an excited gleam in his eyes. “I’d like that a lot.”
“Follow me to my room,” I smiled. He could follow you then you could just kiss him, you know, Frank. There is a bed right in your room. FUCK OFF, MIND. I sighed to myself, attempting to stop thinking about ripping Gerard’s clothes off. I sat on my bed.
“I have never had a better tutor than you, Frank.” Gerard smiled at me, positioning himself next to me.
“I have never had a better student than you, Gerard.” I retorted.
“Really?” Gerard scoffed.
“Really.” I confirmed. “Yes, you are the best student ever. You’re the best person ever.”
Gerard hugged me, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in the crook of my neck.
“I like you a lot,” Gerard mumbled, his hair slightly messed up. My heart flipped like a million times.
“I like you a lot, too.” I made sure I added in the ‘a lot’, just in case.

Notes

a/n: dundundun