The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

Three weeks after we move in with Mikey he is sick of us. He would never say it but I can tell he wants his house back. "Mikey maybe it's time we went back to mine" I suggest over dinner one night and he nods before saying "Can I trust you to handle Frank properly?" I frown before saying "He's fine here why wouldn't he be fine with just me?" Mikey nods and apologises before saying we can go but that he'll still be taking Frank to his appointments as that's the agreement he made. I smile over at Frank and he looks a little nervous.
After dinner I ask Frank what's wrong. "I just don't know what I'm meant to do now. Like we're going back to your house now but, do I live there with you? Am I meant to get a job and get my own place? Can I even get a job? Do I have a family? Why didn't anyone come visit me in the hospital? Surely if I had a family they'd look for me right?" Frank starts to hyperventilate in panic so I gently cup his face in my hands as I say "Shh babe it's ok. Just calm down. Of course you're going to live with me, you don't need to get your own place, I don't want you to. You can get a job if you like or you can just stay home, when I go back to work I'll be earning more than enough to support us. And as for your family, well, I'm your family now and I'll never leave you." Frank calms down and his breathing returns to normal and he even manages a little smile. "You promise?" He asks and I nod and smile saying "Of course babe. You'll always have me and Mikey too" before pulling him into my arms and gently stroking his hair and back.

Two days later we go back to my house and when we go inside Bert is there. "Hey Gee" he says as he walks over and hugs me. When we pull away he gently strokes his fingers over my cheeks and says "I missed you." I smile at him and Frank clears his throat to remind us he's here too. Bert turns and gazes at Frank before stepping towards him and holding his hand out saying "Hey I'm Bert. Sorry we didn't exactly get off to the best start." Frank eyes him warily before reaching out and taking his hand saying "Frank." Bert smiles and tries to be friendly but Frank isn't making it easy so I decide to change the subject. "So what are you doing here?" Bert looks at me and says "Well I'm kinda staying here. Other place didn't work out. I can find something else if it's a problem....." "No Bert this is your place too. Stay as long as you like, you know I would never kick you out." Bert smiles at me and steps in for another hug and says "Thanks Gee, that's why you're my best friend. You always look out for me." I smile at him as we pull away and Frank says "Where's the bedroom Gerard? I suddenly don't feel very well and I want to lay down." I tear my gaze away from Bert before walking over and reaching for Franks hand but he pulls it away and says "Well" like an impatient little brat. I sigh and suppress the comment I wish to make about his behaviour and walk towards the bedroom, trusting he'll follow. Once we get there Frank throws himself on the bed, rolling over so his back is to me and I say "Are you ok babe, can I get you anything?" Frank huffs out a breath and says "No" and I'm not sure what the answer is for. I sit on the bed and reach out to touch his back but he flinches away from my touch and I snap. "Fine, be a fucking spoilt brat then. See if I care" I spit out before standing up and leaving the room, slamming the door behind me. When I get back to the living room Bert pats the couch and I sink down next to him. "If it's a problem I can go Gee. I'd do anything for you, you know that." "No Bert don't go. I want you here, you still mean the world to me even after everything and I'm not ready for you to be gone from my life. He should just understand that, I would never ask him to cut someone from his life for any reason. He'll come around." Bert sighs and says "Whatever you want Gee" before sliding his arm behind my back and pulling me into his side. I cuddle into him and we talk about everything we've done since he left me. He's just finished telling me a funny story from work and we're laughing when I look at his face and he leans in and kisses me. I kiss back, clutching onto his arms and melting into it like I used to, the action of kissing him feeling so natural. After a second reality sets in and I pull away, "Bert we can't" I gasp out and he nods, looking sad and saying "I know babe but I will never not regret letting you go. I still love you so much but if you're happy with him then I want you to be happy." I rest my head on his shoulder as I say "I still love you too and I always will but I love him so much." Bert reaches up and starts stroking my hair as he says "I know babe, it's ok. We're still best friends right? We can still have that?" "Always" I say as I start to smile again but the moment is cut short by a very angry familiar voice hissing out "What the fuck?" And when I look over its not my Frankie I'm looking at. I slowly stand from the couch holding my hands out in a calming but defensive manor and say "Frankie, baby it's ok. Just take a deep breath and calm down for me. I love you so much but I need to you just be calm." "Don't tell me what to do you fucking whore. I told you what would happen if I caught you fucking him" and my face pales at the memory. "Gee what's going on?" Bert speaks up, standing from the couch and Frank snaps, lunging at Bert but I jump inbetween, catching the punch being thrown right to my jaw. "Frankie please" I plead as I clutch my jaw but his eyes are still vacant and hardened but now they're focused on me and not Bert. "Fuck you " he screams at me before he jumps on me, knocking me to the ground and laying into me with his fists. A moment later he is pulled off me and I hear the sound of a struggle and when I drag myself off the floor Bert and Frank are throwing punches at each other. "Please stop" I cry out. "Bert it's his condition please stop." "Gee I'm not letting him beat you" he says before landing a punch right in Franks face, knocking him to the ground. I drop to my knees beside him and reach down to cup his face, "Frankie please" I cry and I can see the hard look in his eyes starting to melt. He shakes his head and moves out of my hold, crawling away from me as I crumple on the floor and sob. Bert comes over and sinks to the floor next to me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest. "Shh Gee. Are you ok?" He whispers and I nod, not being able to form words. After a few minutes crying into Bert's chest I feel a hand on my back and a soft frightened voice say "Gerard."

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