The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

The next morning I wake up in bed alone. I roll onto my back in the middle of the bed and let out a loud sigh, feeling physically great for the first time in a long time but emotionally I'm confused. I'm just about to drag myself out of bed when I hear a buzzing. I roll my head to the side and see Franks cell on the bedside table, the screen lit up. I slide over and pick it up, unlocking it and seeing he has a new message. I open the message and see it's from Lindsey. 'Hey babe, been thinking about you. You should come around later ; ).' I take a deep breath, clicking on her contact details, ready to delete her from his phone and a picture comes up, linked to her contact. I bring the picture up on the screen and my eyes widen, the phone slipping from my hand, falling to the floor. Frank walks into the room a few seconds later, two cups of coffee in his hands. "Morning babe, I..." He trails off, seeing my face. "What's wrong?" He asks and I let my gaze drift down to his phone on the floor and he follows it, letting out a sigh when he sees it. He walks over and sits the cups down before picking up the phone and seeing Lindsey's picture on the screen. "What are you doing going through my phone?" He asks and I swallow down my anger and hurt, not having the energy to fight anymore. "It buzzed with a message and being your husband I didn't realise it would be anything you have hidden from me but I guess I was wrong. So be honest, how long have you been fucking my therapist?" "Gee" he starts and I shake my head, standing up and pulling on pants. "I'm not mad, it's your life. But I just wanna know, were you sleeping with her before you made me see her? Was it some ploy to get my thoughts out and you guys laughed about it later?" Frank shakes his head. "No babe it's not like that. We're just friends, I only slept with her when I was staying at her house. And we never discussed you or your therapy." I shake my head, not really interested in what he's saying. "I can't believe I did this" I utter to myself, feeling so stupid for sleeping with him last night as I make my way out of the room, needing to be away from him. I go into the bathroom and lock the door, climbing into the shower and turning the water on scalding hot, scrubbing Frank off me until my skin is red and raw. I bite my trembling lower lip, desperate to not cry as I climb out and dry off, wincing at the stinging of my skin.

Frank leaves for work soon after I get out, trying to kiss me goodbye but I turn my head at the last second and let him kiss my cheek instead. Once he's gone I get Ruby ready and we go out to real estate offices, making appointments to see apartments that afternoon. After we have lunch we head to the first one and as soon as Ruby and I step inside she holds her arms out to be picked up, shaking her head and saying "I don't like it here daddy." The place is an absolute dump and I nod as I say "Yeah me either baby." Once we leave we take the short walk to the next apartment a few blocks away and this building looks much nicer. When I walk in with Ruby on my hip the real estate agent smiles warmly at us and tells us to look around, giving me a print out of all the details. I put Ruby down and she runs from room to room, excited before coming back out and saying "Pink room daddy," taking my hand and leading me to the smaller of the two bedrooms. "Wow baby it's like a Princess room" I tell her and she smiles up at me. I'm talking to the agent, getting the paperwork I need to fill out when my cell buzzes in my pocket. "One second" I say to her apologetically as I leave the room and answer. "Hey babe where are you?" Frank asks and I sigh before saying "I'm out. I'm kinda in the middle of something so I'll see you when I get home" I tell him, hanging up. "Sorry about that" I tell the agent, taking the paperwork and telling her I'll drop it into the office first thing in the morning. Ruby and I head home, Ruby excited by the new apartment. Once we get home she runs over to Frank and climbs up into his lap for a cuddle. "Hey Rubes, did you have a good day with daddy?" She smiles and nods before blurting out about the apartment. Franks head snaps up to look at me straight away, hurt and betrayal in his eyes and he says "Oh really?" His tone icy but Ruby doesn't notice, telling him about the Princess room. I swallow the lump in my throat, leaving the room and settling at the kitchen table to fill out the paperwork. I'm halfway through when I hear footsteps come into the room and I say "Hey baby girl, you want a snack?" Not bothering to look up but suddenly a hand reaches out and snatches the pen from my hand, throwing it across the room. "What the fuck Gerard?" He snaps, my head turning to look at him and I flinch at the look on his face. "Frank, you're fucking my therapist. Did you honestly think that's ok?" His angry expression drops to one of sadness and he drops to his knees beside me, taking my hand in his. "Baby I'm sorry. It was one of many major fuck ups that I've made in this relationship and it's over, I promise. I'm not even in contact with her anymore." "Then why was she texting you? Asking you to fuck her again?" I snap and he shakes his head. "I didn't even read that message, I deleted it and her contact from my phone. Babe I want this to work so fucking badly, please don't walk out on me." I sigh, not knowing what to do or how I feel anymore. "Frankie, I just don't know anymore" I tell him honestly as I turn in my chair to face him. "Please" he pleads, a tear falling down his cheek. "You promised me the week, please atleast give me that if nothing else." I sigh again before nodding my head and saying "Fine. But this apartment isn't available for another week and a half so I'm still filing this application." He nods saying "If you want, just give me a chance please." I reach out with my free hand and gently stroke his hair back from his face. "Ok Frankie" I tell him softly and he smiles weakly at me.

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