The Hardest Part Is Letting Go Of Your Dreams

As the night drags on the guys get more and more drunk and as a result, much louder. Frank is on his third beer and I tell him I think that one will be enough and all the other guys speak over me, telling me I'm wrong and he should keep drinking. I stare at Frank but he just smiles back at me drunkenly, already feeling the effects of the alcohol. At around 1am Ruby comes stumbling over, rubbing her eyes, and holds out her hands, wanting to be picked up. I pull her up into my lap and she rubs her face against my chest as she lets out a big yawn. I stand up from Franks lap and carry her into her bedroom, putting her in bed and reading her a story. By the time the story is done she is fast asleep so I tuck her in and leave the room, pulling the door mostly closed. I go back into the living room to see Frank has a shot in his hand. "What the fuck?" I ask, upset that he isn't listening to me. He does the shot before looking over at me, clearly drunk at this point so I sigh and snap "Whatever. Do whatever the fuck you want then, but if there's a mess tomorrow morning I will lose my shit. And keep the fucking noise down, Ruby is trying to sleep" before storming off to the bedroom, climbing into bed alone while Franks little party goes on in the living room. I lay in the darkness trying to fall asleep again when Ruby comes wandering in with Billy in her hand. "Too loud daddy" she tells me and I help her up into the bed with me before saying "I know baby, hang on a second." I climb out of bed as Ruby settles down with her teddy bear and walk into the living room to see all the guys joking around and still drinking, Frank beyond drunk. "Do you guys mind SHUTTING THE FUCK UP? You woke up Ruby" I say, yelling to get their attention. "Hey baby come here" Frank slurs out and I shake my head and stay where I am. He stands up and stumbles over to me, wrapping his hands around my waist, trying to kiss me. I turn my head away and gently shove him back saying "You fucking stink like alcohol, I'm not kissing you." Frank steps back before drunken anger crosses his face and he shoves me, hard. I stumble back before saying "Don't fucking touch me, and keep it the fuck down" and turning to leave the room. Frank grabs my wrist and pulls me towards him, making me stumble slightly and when I turn to look at him he surges in and kisses me, wet and sloppy and tasting of stale alcohol. I shove him off and he takes a swing at me. I step back, able to dodge it in his drunken state and turn to Matt. "Take him with you, please" I plead before turning and running back to the bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind me, climbing into bed with Ruby. I hear yelling going on in the living room, one voice clearly Franks but I can't make out the words and I hear something being smashed. Ruby starts crying so I cuddle her close and shush her, praying that Frank leaves with them. A few minutes later I hear the front door open before it slams shut and the apartment is left in silence. I let out a sigh of relief and as soon as Ruby settles down and falls asleep I cuddle her closer and let myself sleep too.

When I wake up Ruby is still asleep in Franks side of the bed so I pull the blanket back up over her and leave her there, quietly leaving the room and going into the living room to see what the damage is. When I walk in there are broken pieces of beer bottle all over the floor and coffee table and Ruby's fish bowl is smashed on the floor, the fish laying dead in a puddle of water. "You fucking asshole" I mutter under my breath, knowing this will break Ruby's little heart as I go into the kitchen to get the broom. Just as I'm finishing up cleaning all the mess the front door opens and Frank comes in, his clothes all messed up and looking sheepish. "Hey babe" he tries and I turn my head to look up at him, glaring before muttering out "Don't fucking hey babe me. How the fuck could you do that? Do you have any fucking idea how upset your daughter is going to be when she finds out?" Frank looks confused and says "What?" I shake my head and stand up, "I don't care what you did to me, honestly at this point you can't hurt me much further but to throw Ruby's fish on the floor and kill them, that crosses a whole other line and you know you're a fucking asshole right?" Frank opens his mouth but I shake my head and cut him off. "No, you don't fucking speak, don't you dare try to justify this" I snap before shoving past him with the bag of broken glass I just cleaned up. "Babe" Frank tries again, grabbing my arm but I pull it out of his grip and keep walking into the kitchen. I tie the bag off and sit it aside to get rid of later and I hear footsteps coming into the room. "Don't Frank" I snap, not even bothering to look at him but Ruby's voice says "Daddy" and I turn to see her standing there looking at me. "I heard yelling daddy" she tells me and I sigh before walking over and picking her up. "Baby girl, there was an accident with the fishies but daddy is gonna take you to the pet store and we'll get some new ones ok?" Ruby stares at me for a second before her bottom lip quivers and she says "Where's my fishies?" "They went to heaven baby" I tell her and she starts to cry. "Want my fishies" she sobs and I cuddle her close, trying to shush her as I feel my own eyes well with tears at the sound of her heartbroken sobs.

Notes

So I totally cried while writing the end of this chapter....