Days Gone By

“Oh god…” Gerard groaned, running over to Lindsey, a feeling of panic washing over him. She was sitting slumped on the old, leather sofa in the corner of the room; her head hung low as weakly held it up with her hand. Her eyes remained fixed on the floor, not daring to look at him as he came closer. Gerard froze, his eyes focusing on her other hand which was holding an almost empty bottle of vodka; his heart sank straight into my stomach. What the hell was she doing?

“Lindsey?” He said tentatively, gently shaking her arm as he tried to get a proper look at her. To his surprise, and relief, she slowly raised her head, locking her eyes with his. He couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. Fear coursed through his veins as he stared into her eyes, the once familiar warm light that usually shone from her dark, beautiful eyes was gone, leaving them looking cold and lifeless. But the thing that frightened him the most was how bloodshot her eyes were; In all the years he had known her she had never once done this to herself.

“What the fuck is going on?” he asked fearfully, almost dreading the answer. She remained silent, a crooked smile quickly forming on her face. A quiet, frightening giggle escaped her lips as Gerard’s eyes drifted away from hers to the bottle in her hand. He reached out, wrapping his fingers firmly around the near-empty bottle as she loosened her grip; sliding it out of her hand and throwing it against the wall behind him, a mixture of fear and anger building up inside him. “Lindsey, why the fuck have you been drinking.... what about our baby?” He whispered in horror, tears stinging in his eyes as he cupped her pallid face, struggled to remain calm.

Guilt quickly clouded around his heart. This was his fault. If only he hadn’t of cheated on her with Frank then maybe she wouldn’t have tried to kill their baby. Why hadn’t he chased after her earlier? Why didn’t he find her sooner? But it was too late, he was too late. The damage had already been done.

His worried eyes connected with her lifeless ones again, begging her for an answer that she seemed reluctant to tell me. She snorted. “Wetting our baby’s head” She slurred, throwing back her head and laughing as she sank deeper into the sofa. Gerard’s eyes filled with tears as he stared at her with an expression of desperation and worry. He backed away from her, listening to her laugh hysterically as he sat on the edge of the nearby bed and helplessly watched his girlfriend fall to pieces in front of him; unable to help her because he knew this was all his fault.

Lindsey’s hysteria slowly died down and regained composure, taking deep, shaky breaths. She sat forward on the sofa, sitting with her head in hand hands. She didn’t say anything for what felt like hours and the silence was starting to become unnerving. “Did you ever love me?” She slurred, staggering to her feet. Gerard’s stared at her, unsure of how to respond. He cared about her; she was the mother of his child. But love?

He fell out of love with her a long time ago.

Gerard quickly rose to his feet, catching Lindsey before she fell. She laughed in his arms as he sat her down on the bed. “I asked you a question Gee Gee” She said, frowning at him as he struggled to look her in the eye. “Of course I do” He sighed. “Don't lie to me,I fucking hate liars!” she spat, shrugging his arm off her shoulder and moving away from him. Gerard grimaced, slamming his fist against the bed as he stormed over the other side of the room. “And did you ever love me Lindsey? You fucked my brother and now... now you’ve probably killed our baby” He screamed, resisting the urge to smack that grin off her face. Gerard had never hit women, but she was sure making it easier for him. She smirked, brushing her hair off his face as edged her face closer to his. “mmm but at least I wasn’t fucking dirty little queers” She sneered, poking him hard in the chest and stumbling back onto the bed. Gerard’s mouth hung open; it was obvious she had turned into a paranoid drunken mess... a mess he was responsible for.

He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair as he struggled to think of what to do. He couldn’t just leave her alone like this; she was a danger to herself. This was his mess and he had to sort it. She stared up at him; her smile had twisted into a look of hurt and hatred. He knelt before her, gently placing a hand on her leg as he stared into her eyes. “Linds just... please stop this. Of course I love you just stop doing this to yourself. I promise I won’t even look at Frank anymore” He replied desperately. Suddenly, she jumped to her feet so fast he recoiled in surprise from the rash movement. She somehow managed to remain upright and tower over him menacingly, making him cower away from her and land hard on his elbows onto the floor. “You PROMISE? What, like you PROMISED you would never lie to me? Fuck you Gerard, I hate you!” She exploded, the alcohol clearly making her more aggressive than usual. Gerard stared at her fearfully, unsure of what to say. He just wanted her to stop freaking out, but she was in an erratic state of mind and was not thinking straight.

“Lindsey, I swear I’ll never do anything to upset you again I promise” He quickly replied, his own words seemed to overwhelm him, and sadness replaced the rage inside of him again. He cautiously climbed to his feet, gently stroking her face with his hand. “I promise I’ll be there for you no matter what. You’ll always have me” He added, trying to conceal the lies that poured from his lips. He didn’t want her, how could he? It was the baby he was thinking of, the only good thing he had ever done in his life. If sticking to her kept that small part of him safe then it he’d do it.

All of a sudden, she raised her head to look at him through bloodshot eyes. She quickly leaned towards him, closing the distance between their lips. Gerard quickly pulled away, he didn’t feel comfortable kissing her right now; she was drunk and he certainly didn’t want to take advantage of her while she was in this vulnerable state. “I don’t think that’s a good idea” he murmured quietly, stepping backwards away from her slowly.

“But… I love you” she whispered, looking at him with pleading eyes as stepped closer to him, tracing her fingers down his arm. Gerard squeezed his eyes closed, his heart pounding upon hearing those words. She didn’t make this easy for him. His eyes drifted to the floor, breaking the intense eye contact between them as he shifted on the spot uncomfortably. “Don’t you love me anymore?” she enquired, cocking her head to the side as she continued to stare at him. He swallowed a lump in his throat and kept his eyes fixed on the floor, afraid to meet her gaze. He didn’t want to answer that question. He was sick of the lies, sick of hurting the people he loved most.

He couldn’t do this anymore.

“We’ll talk in the morning Linds” he said reluctantly as he began to walk toward the door. Suddenly, Lindsey took a step closer to him, reaching out to caress his face in his hands. “I love you too much to let that dirty queer take you” she spoke venomously, her voice merely a whisper as she locked eyes with Gerard.

Her lips collided with his for a second time, kissing him sloppily as she held onto his face. It wasn’t like any other kiss they had shared; it was more desperate, more drunken, more forceful... She forced her tongue into his mouth, almost making him gag from the bitter taste of alcohol.

He hated this.

Gerard put his hands on her chest and pushed her away from him once again, ignoring the rising fear that began to seep into his thoughts. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, as he pulled away, feeling Lindsey’s hands fall from his face. “Why won’t you kiss me?” She asked expressionlessly, looking at me with horribly vacant eyes. “You’re not yourself right now… You’re drunk,” he shook his head in disappointment, backing away from her slowly. Lindsey walked closer to him, backing him into the corner of the room, as far away from the door as possible. Her face twisted into an angry sneer as she clenched her fists together. What was the matter with her? He had never seen her like this before? “I jus...I just want to show you how much I love you” She slurred, staggering slightly as she edged closer to him. Gerard slowly shook his head, trying to remain calm as she placed her hands upon his body. “I said no” He replied sternly, trying to get past her and back down stairs.

Lindsey grabbed him by the wrists and shoved him backwards, knocking his head hard against the wall. “I won’t let him take you from me Gee... I know you want this” She whispered in a threatening voice, placing her hands on either side of him, trapping him. Gerard felt his head swim, the room was spinning as he felt slightly disorientated. Her words cut through his thought, sending him into blind panic. It was the first time she had ever made him afraid. He was actually scared of her. He had never seen this aggressive side of her before and it terrified him. “Lindsey... please” He stammered, suddenly feeling too weak and too sick with fear to push her away. He held his hand to his head, touching it gingerly as it throbbed in pain; quickly pulling it back to see blood trickling down his hand. “If you don’t want me then you don’t want our baby” She replied flatly, staring at him with eyes that already looked dead, chilling him to the very core. “I love you Gerard, we belong together”.

He broke the unnerving eye contact to glance sideways quickly to see if there was a way he could slide out of the trap that she had him in, but there was no escaping this. She leaned in to kiss him again. Gerard tried to push her away but this only made her more forceful. She pushed him harder against the wall again, smashing her lips against his desperately; forcing Gerard’s lips apart again and ignoring his reluctance to the kiss and attempt to break free.

He managed to tear his lips away and turn his head to the side sharply, breathing heavily. “Get away from me,” He ordered in the strongest voice he could muster, despite how dizzy she had made him feel. She only smirked, sending a chill down his spine. He knew she was strong but not this powerful. He pushing her away once more, hard enough to make her stagger backwards but remain on her feet. He ran for the door, his heart pounding as he reached for the door handle only for her to grab his arm, digging her long nails into his skin and roughly pulled him back. He looked at her with eyes wide in panic and literally saw something snap inside of her; her eyes darkening and her facial expression hardened as she dragged him across the room.

“Lindsey... W-what are you doing? Please let go…” he fretted pleadingly, but she didn’t loosen her grip on him. A crazed look danced in her eyes as she shoved him down hard onto the bed. “Lindsey please don’t do this” he cried fearfully, looking at her with wide, anxious eyes as she crawled on top of him, kisses down his neck. As much as he wanted to push her away, he couldn’t risk hurting her. She was still pregnant with his baby; he didn’t want to risk killing it. “Don’t do this…” he repeated in a weaker voice, trying to move away from her. She grabbed his wrists, holding him down against the bed. “You love it” she smirked, kissing him once more.

He tried to push her off as her hands trailed down his body but she was too strong for him. This strength wasn’t natural. It was overpowering him. He couldn’t stop her going too far, there was nothing he could do. Suddenly, he heard the dreaded sound of his pants unzipping, followed by the touch of her hands dragging them down. “Lindsey No! Please… Don’t,” he cried begging again and again, feeling the tears burning in his eyes.

His pleas seemed to fall on deaf ears. Lindsey firmly held him in the same position, trapping Gerard as she climbed on top of his waist. Eventually, he gave up struggling and whimpering. He laid there in the silence, praying for it to stop, praying for someone to help him.

Notes

Will anyone save Gerard?
Will Lindsey ever get her come-uppance? X

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