“whats wrong with mikey?” Frank asked.

“ray this isn’t a good time.”

“gerard this can’t wait. if i don’t tell someone, and he's doesn’t get help ill take it into my own hands.”

“gee whats he talking about?” frank asked me.

“i don’t know.” i lied.

“gerard im positive you know exactly what im talking about.” ray said giving me a serious look.

“ray this isn’t a good time.” i said again trying to get him to understand i didn’t want to do this with frank here.

“gerard i don’t think this can wait.” he almost begged me.

“he doesn't want to talk to you faggot.” frank spat.

“you have no room to talk. you're here fucking him while his brother’s dying and neither of you care.”ray yelled at frank.

“mikeys not dying and, at least im not taking advantage of anyone like you. me and gerard are actually willing to be togther.”

“im not taking advantage of mikey! what the hell is wrong with you two?” ray suddenly yelled at us.
“you two are so sickly obsessed with each other, and think you're so damn perfect that you don’t notice the people around you and how much they're hurting. you really are fucking monsters”

“im still not the one fucking a minor.” frank said to him and i felt my gut clench at the thought of him and mikey.
i mean mikey had said on thanksgiving when we were almost having sex that ray hadn’t seen him like that, but i doubt it and think he just said that to make me continue.

“idiot we’re the same age.” ray said “Don’t ever joke about taking advantage of people especially in that way it’s not funny. plus you don’t even know his age that’s sad, and gerard we really need to talk.Like now.”

“ray can we talk tomorrow after school.” i asked him

“its your loss not mine if mikey doesn't even making it that long.”

“what the fuck are you talking about creep?” frank asked him

“im pretty sure gerard knows exactly what im talking about.” he said and i felt like crying. i did know what he was talking about.

he must’ve found out about mikey’s eating disorder. He must’ve seen him shirtless…Ray should not be seeing my brother without any clothes off, he’s not ray’s he’s mine.

ray walked off shaking his head in disappointment and i looked at frank. “gerard you okay?”

“ya just thinking about what he said.”

“ya the hell was that about?”

“it doesn’t matter ill worry about it tomorrow.” i told him hoping that id get some time to see mikey alone and talk before ray could ‘take matters into his own hands’

——————————————————————————————

the next day i looked for mikey all day and ditched half of my classes trying to find him.

I couldn’t find him anywhere and by lunch i decided that he must be one of two places. A. Ray’s house
B. Our house.

I prayed he wasn’t at rays because I could feel my stomach twisting in jealousy.

Mikey knows i love him, and that i was scared to hurt him by having sex because i loved him and cared enough not to push him.

Why does he keep running to ray and avoiding me even when i’m trying so hard to show my love.

I invited him to have a horror movie marathon, one of his favorite things, and didn’t pressure him to eat yet he went to rays.

It was only going to be me him and frank. I still don’t understand mikey’s problem with frank.

i felt horrible he saw frank and i the one day when we were outside having sex against the wall, i never meant for him to see that.

I told him he meant more to me than frank, hadn’t i?

When i walked into my house the door was already open which was weird and i could hear crying from upstairs.

I ran upstairs to find mikey sitting on the floor crying and begging ray to stop throwing his things into bags.

“what’s going on?” i asked angrily.

was ray trying to make mikey leave and live with him.”what are you doing to mikes stuff?”

as soon as mikey saw me he stopped crying and sat there trying to hold back the sobs but just ended up sniffling every five seconds instead.

then i saw his face, there was a gash on it surrounded by multiple little cuts, “what did you do to him!?” i yelled pushing ray up against the wall.

“that was an accident because we were drunk. It’s not like when your boyfriend bashed his head in and you didn't even bat an eye when that was way worse than this.”

“that didn’t happen.” i defended.

“are you fucking serious gerard?! where did you think the bruises on his face were coming from? magic?”

“mikey frank was the one who..”

mikey didn’t answer and just began to sob again.

“mikey?” i asked but he ignored me.

“gerard how blind are you?” ray asked still grabbing mikey clothes and placing them in bags.

‘’what are you doing with his stuff?”

“i told you i’d take it into my own hands yesterday.”

“take what? he’s not your brother.”

“he might as well be it’s not like your much of a brother to him.” he claimed.

“mikey if you want to take anything else then grab it now.”

“please ray i swear ill stop” mikey whimpered.

“toro where the fuck are you taking him?!” i asked bitterly.

“the hospital gerard. he’s killing himself and if you aren’t going to help him the fine but im not letting him die.” he said “c’mon mikey let’s go.”

mikey stood up shakily and looked between us before walking towards me.

“gerard tell him i’m okay.” he pleaded

i looked at him and remembered just how scary his body was to look at without clothes, and realized how shitty i was for not helping him when i was fully aware of what he was doing and even when id had suspicions.

‘mikey you need to go with ray.” i said my voice cracking.

mikey looked at me and his mouth dropped. silent tears went down his cheeks as he broke my heart one more time with his words.

“i thought you loved me.”

“i do.” i argued.

“if you loved me you wouldn’t do this.” he said then started whimpering and shaking as ray grabbed his arm and took him to the hospital.

Notes

intense chapter sorry for the wait my lives really hectic because a family member died and my cousins are staying at my house.

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