I had been trying to convince Mikey to eat more lately. After thanksgiving I'm worried about him, more so than i was before, but i’m also scared. I’m scared of hurting him, of someone finding out, about him dying. I also feel bad about lying to frank. i truly do like frank but not as much as much, the love towards mikey is just different, stronger.

I decided to call frank today since it was still thanksgiving break. He was still my boyfriend and i really needed a distraction from my feelings towards mikey and his eating problem. the image of his body is constantly popping up in my head and it scares me. It also turns me on when i think about what me and mikey almost did but were stopped. Frank would be a good relief for that department.

he had responded with a text telling me he’d be over soon, so i went downstairs to make us lunch since it was almost noon. i made some sandwiches with pringles and some iced tea.

Mikey suddenly walked into the kitchen saying hey to me before he spotted the food and stopped dead in his tracks.

“don’t worry its not for you but i do want you to eat something.”

“if its not for me then why’d you make two?” he asked slowly

“franks coming over.”

mikeys faced seem to drop even more “oh.”

“whats wrong?” he just shook his head at me “nothing, im going to head over to ray’s house then”

“wait! mikey why don’t you just stay here? we’re going to have a movie marathon with a bunch of junk food and gore.”

“no im good.” He’d been so happy all break so far and the sudden sadness was throwing me off.

“mikey why not it'll be-“

“Gee!” i was cut off by frank running into the kitchen hugging me from behind, and placing a kiss on my cheek.
“i missed you.”

“frank its only been like two days since I've seen you” i said, but none the less hugged him back.

“oh..hi.”frank said bitterly towards mikey.

“fuck off.” mikey spat, “im going to rays.”

“mikey c’mon.” i pleaded

“baby let him go to ray’s,” frank said winking at me. i turned to say something to mikey but he was already shaking his head and heading towards the door. he must’ve seen frank wink at me and knew what frank meant.

I reluctantly let mikey walk pass me and out the door. as soon as that door was shut frank had his lips on mine and his hips pressing hard against my leg. “fuck there’s a certain part of me thats really been missing you these past two days” he smirked as he kept rutting against my leg.
“c'mon gee, basement?” he asked.

i nodded.

—————————————————————————————

mikeys pov

i went over to ray’s even though i knew it would upset gerard, but fuck it if he wants to almost fuck me, and then go continue fucking frank who hates my guts then he should have no reason to tell me I'm not allowed to see my best friend. even though i’d been ignoring ray lately i knew he’d forgive me. he’s used to me and my weird moods.

ray and i didn't even really do anything, he just held me as we watched netflix in his bed. it was a best friend thing not a fuck buddy thing.
personally i think thats all frank is to gerard but for some reason gerard is still picking him over me. The first thing that comes to mind when i think of why he picks frank over me is because of my body. Even though he said he was scared about me, he shouldn’t be. i know what i’m doing and as soon as he sees how good i look when all the weight i want is off he’ll be all over me. I hope.

“want some?” ray asked holding out the popcorn to me.

“is it buttered?” i asked casually

“no its plain but i can melt some butter if you want.” he said

“no its fine i didn't want butter anyway.” i said taking a handful of the popcorn. it was a low calorie snack and i hadn't eaten yet on thanksgiving break, my mom hadn't forced me to eat since she thought i was sick and would puke it up.

“the popcorn would’ve tasted better with butter, but butter was fattening, and i had worked to hard to loose weight to gain it all back on a stupid slip up.

“where are you going?” i asked as ray stood up unwrapping his one arm from my shoulder.
“getting drinks.” he said and then left.

“just water!” i called out.

“c’mon Mikey live a little.” he called back as i could hear him walking down the stairs towards his kitchen.

he came back up and threw a bottle a me “whats this?”

“its sam adams october fest. try it its good and its perfect for the time of year.”

“im pretty sure beer doesn't have a designated time of year ray.”

“shut up and drink it.” he laughed

Instead of worrying about calories i decided getting drunk would be a good option, and it would help me forget about gerard and frank at my house even if its only temporary.

After a few good hours i was pretty wasted and ray knew that because he kept yelling t me to stop jumping on top of him. “mikey i’m serous man stop.”

Ray was basically sober compared to me. i kept laughing and jumping on ray and kissing him randomly (which he didn't complain about), but he just tried to my stop my jumping around.
“mike im gonna punch you” he threatened.

“no you’re not.” i laughed.

“watch me fucker.” he said then instead of punching me threw his beer bottle at me. It broke and cut my face and neck and spilled all over my clothes.

“ray what the fuck?!” i screamed.

“oh god mikey you're bleeding.” he said in a panicky voice.

“no shit!” i yelled beginning to freak out at how much blood was on my hand as i removed it from my cheek.

“shit.. uhm go-go get a shower and get the blood and beer off. ill uhm clean up the mess.” he said. i nodded and walked into rays bathroom turning the shower on.

i looked at myself in the mirror for a little and nodded at myself. i was definitely improving. with the thought of further improvement in my mind i stepped in the shower and washed the blood off making sure all shards of glass were out of my wounds.

i stepped out of the shower and toweled off but my clothes were gone. i wrapped my towel around my waist and called out to ray. “dude where are my clothes?”

“i threw them in the wash i have some clothes out here you can wear they're on my bed.”

"can you bring them to me?” i asked nervously.

“dude c’mon im busy cleaning your blood, just grab em change out here, its n ot like iv never seen you naked.”

“ray just bring them to me it'll take you two seconds.” i said asking him again.

“mikey c’mon im not bringing you your cloths man, this is your fault in the first place.”

“excuse me but if you wouldn’t have thrown fucking a beer bottle at me my face wouldn’t have bled everywhere now bring me my clothes.”

“dude what is your fucking deal just grab the for fucks sake im busy!” he snapped at me.

i took a deep breath realizing that he wouldn’t be bringing me my clothes any time soon. id have to go out there and grab them.
shirtless.
Ray would see my body and flip out. he’d figure out all those times id rejected food that i was starving myself.

i opened the door and quickly ran towards my clothes, as i was heading back towards the bathroom i heard ray’s voice.

“mikey….oh my god. Mikey!” he yelled once the whole situation hit him.

“oh my god, oh my god oh my god. oh my fucking god mikey.” he whispered covering his mouth with his hands as he began to cry.

“ray please don’t. dont cry.” i begged.

“mikey your killing yourself.”

“no ray, i swear im not-“

“yes you are! you… you need help.”

“ray you cant tell anyone please, you cant.” i pleaded.

“ i….oh god mikey.” he whispered shaking his head.

———————————————————————————

Rays pov.

The whole night i was freaking out about mikey. he was laying next to me on my bed sleeping like nothing was wrong, like he wasn't killing himself.

I couldn’t take it. i had to tell someone. I got up carefully as not to wake mikey and walked to his house. i knocked hoping someone was still awake. the door eventually opened revealing a shirtless frank, he was actually pantless too but thank god he had boxers on.

“what do you want?” he asked rudely.

“i-uh i need to talk to gerard” i told him.

“why what the fuck do you have to say to him?” he asked

“listen frank i dont think you'd care can i just see gerard?”

“no hes my boyfriend whatever you have to tell him i can hear-“

“frank who's at the- ray?” gerard asked walking into the room in the same clothing attire as frank. gross.
“waht do you want? wheres mikey?” he asked

“uhm he’s sleeping at my house but thats sort of why i'm here. i didn't want him to now i came over”

“wait why? what do you mean you didn't want him to know?” gerard asked.

“i-i need to talk to you about mikey…its important.”

as soon as that sentence left my mouth gerard's face dropped like he’d ben shot.

Notes

long chapter ish, been working on it for two days during study halls

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