It's a not so secret, secret

"The guys are coming over." Billie said flicking through the channels on the tv. He looked over at me where I was in my spot on the floor as far away from him as possible.

I glared back at him not daring to speak up or even make any noises because of what happened after he found out I was calling my dads.

"come on don't look at me like that. do you you want them to come over or no?"

I stared him down but he did the same back. "Yes or no." He asked harshly.

I shook my head "yes." I said quietly.

"Good they'll be here soon, okay? Just act normal they're our friends remember?" He said.

"Act normal?" I asked

"yea act normal. Don't hide in the corner from them."

"I'm hiding from you." I spat quietly.

"What was that?" He asked

"Nothing."

"No I wanna know. Tell me what you said Nathan." He commanded.

"I said I'm hiding from you." I whispered quietly scared of his reaction.

"Why would you be hiding from your boyfriend?" He chuckled.

"you're not my boyfriend!" I yelled at him and his eyes darkened.

"oh really? When did that happen?"he asked calmly.

"When you hurt me is when it fucking happened!"

Billie rolled his eyes. "I didn't hurt you."

"YES YOU FUCKING DID YOU RAPED ME! TWICE!" I screamed.

Almost instantly billie was standing in front of me crouching down so he was eye level with me.
"That 'first time' was a misunderstanding when I tried something new-"

"no it wasn't, I fucking told you to st-"

He shot me a mean look at me an I shut up.

"the so called 'second time' wasn't rape. I was upset you wanted to leave me and go home to the traitors who lied to you, so I tried to show you how much I loved you with sex. It was love."

"It was rape." I said stupidly knowing this would just piss him off, which it did, but it was the truth. His fist collided with my cheek but luckily before he could hurt me anymore the guys came walking in like they always did.

"Shit sorry! If you guys are like making out we can leave." Ray said awkwardly obviously misjudging why I was curled up in a corner with billie over top of me.

"Nah it's cool we can wait." Billie said smirking at me before standing up and walking back to the couch.

I knew he'd kill me if I told the guys what was happening, or if I acted weird, so to save my ass from another beating or worse I went and sat down next to billie who pulled me into his side kissing the top of my head.

"Aww how cute." Bob joked.

"Hey how long have you guys been together anyway?" Alex asked.

"Uh a little over two months I think."

"No fucking way!" Ray said

"We dated before he started coming over and living with me y'know." billie said laughing.

"Ya I knew that I just didn't think it would last. Congrats." Ray smiled.

"Thanks man, I hope to have many more." Billie said pulling me closer to him.

I sure didn't. I needed to get out of here. I know the guys will help me but I have to be smart on who i tell first, or else they may freak out and tell everybody.

I decided that Alex was the calmest and that he'd help me the most if I told him so I waited for billie to get drunk before I pulled Alex into the kitchen.

------------

"get your shit I'm getting you out of here." Alex said seriously.

"Really?!" I asked excitedly.

"Ya billie will be knocked out soon and I'll get you home, but you have to promise one thing." he said

"what?"

"That you won't rat on billie for anything."

"what! You can't be serious!" I said/asked. I wanted to head straight to the police and get his ass locked up immediately.

"Nathan you can't okay. I know he hurt you but he didn't mean it. His only family is us and we need each other."

"I'm pretty sure he fucking meant to hurt me Alex and I'm not letting it slide!" I yell whispered in his face.

"Didn't you meet him at therapy? That's what he told me."

I nodded "what's that have to do with-"

"do you remember by any chance why he was there?" Alex asked.

I shook my head

"he was there because he's bi-polar. Not whatever other bull shit story he made up. He hates to tell people the truth and makes up stories about highschool and anger issues because he's scared of how they'll react. He didn't mean to hurt you, it wasn't his choice. He can't control his feelings half the time and imagine what loving someone can do to your emotions Nathan." He said like he was a teacher.
"You can't ruin someone just because they love you and you don't love them back."

i let everything sink in and looked at Alex. "I promise not to rat on him if you can get me out of here."

Alex smiled and hugged me. "We leave as soon as he's knocked out."

Notes

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