I'm Okay Now

**katys pov**
If it wasent for Gerard I would be dead and I'm sure of it. Right now I'm stuck in an uncomfortable hospital bed looking into Gerard's beautiful hazel eyes staring back into mine with a smile on my face. He almost made me completely forget about all the pain I was in with all my gashes and stitches, not even the morphine the doctors gave me could ease the pain I was in, but Gerard could.
"So what did the doctors ask?" I said trying to understand what was going on outside this depressing room.
"They where just asking a bunch of questions, most of which I couldn't answer"
"Like...." I said, signaling him to continue
"Like.." trying to imitate my voice. He's adorable. "Like what's your last name" he paused for a second and looked down at his feet. This couldn't be good. "And why you did this" yep there it was. I haven't told him why I did this and I didn't want him to know honestly. I swallowed all my pride and started to lightly cry.
"You don't have to answer" he said with his voice full of concern.
I don't remember how long I stared into his eyes after that. It could have been five minutes or five hours and I wouldn't know the difference. I could feel myself start to cry more but I was quickly pulled closer to Gerard's chest for a hug which made me feel so much better. At that moment I swallowed my pride and put all my strength together "he raped me"
I could feel his once soft chest grow very hard as he stopped moving. Shit. Then he laid me back down and spoke. His eyes where wide and his mouth hung open as he stared at the wall in schlock.
"I have to go" and just then he started speed walking towards the door, I didn't want this to happen.
"NO DONT TELL ANYONE!" I begged, it didn't stop him but he paused in his tracks still facing the door.
"Katy they need to know! They could help you!" He said with his voice stern and louder then I've heard him spoke, and Gerard way dosent raise his voice for anything.
"Please Gerard, please don't. Your the only help that I need, I need you too help me and not tell them the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. Please"
"Katy honey I need too, it's for your own good" he said still facing the doorway with his back turned away me.
"Please don't" my voice cracked halfway threw but that made him see what I was really feeling. His black leather jacket that matched his hair made him stand out from the dirty white walls, you couldn't miss him even if you where blind.
Just then the door swung open almost hitting Gerard and in walked the doctor followed by Mikey.
"Hello ms.katy! How are you feeling?" The doctor asked trying to be friendly but I wasn't in the mood to feel like rainbows. I noticed Mikey had a huge smile on his face happy too see me again.
"I feel like shit honestly" I replied trying not to sound as bitter as I felt. I few giggles where shared around the room and I couldn't help but smile in return.
"Well ms.katy, your going to have too stay here for a while until we make sure that you aren't going to do this to yourself again" all sights of happiness faded from my face in a matter of seconds
"Why! I can promise you that I wont do this again!" I begged hoping that I would make him give in. I've never been in therapy before. I had thoughts of checking myself in for suicide but I never really liked to be away from the outside.
"I'm sorry but we can't accept promises, and also don't forget that we need to make sure that all your wounds heal so none get infected." I pouted at his words "but hey! Look on the bright side! Visiting hours are from 4-7pm daily!" He said signaling Mikey and Gerard who gave me fake smiles and nodded when really I could tell that they where just as disappointed as I was. Sitting back I rolled my eyes trying not to be rude, after all this was no ones fault other then my own, he was just trying to help me.
"Do you know how long this will take, like how long I'll be here for?" I asked
" well it depends on how much progress we make, we can release you as soon as we know that this won't happen again."
"I promise you I won't do this again!"
"Honey like I told you before, we don't accept promises. I'm sorry"
"Don't be, and thank you for everything you have done." He gave me a quick smile before heading out the door leaving me alone with Mikey and Gerard. Before I knew it two sets of arms where wrapped around me. It felt good to be with them again, even if I was stuck in the mental part of the hospital I was still happy too be with them.
"Oh Katy, we missed you so much. Do you know how worried we where!?" Mikey asked as he tightened his grip on me trying not to put as much pressure on my fucked up arm. Why did they care so much? I must have said it out loud because Mikey continued "your like a sister to me! Please don't ever do that again" his arms let go of my waist and moved to my shoulder so he could look at me directly in the eye.
"I promise" I said to him not breaking the eye contact. I meant what I said, as long as I dident feel the need to I wouldent, or at least try suicide again. If I had Gerard and Mikey by my side I would be completely content at life, their all I need.
*three weeks later*
I've been stuck in the mental hospital for three weeks now, and both gerard and Mikey visited me daily and sometimes lily would be here too. I didn't mind it here everyone is extremely nice and caring for each other also I got too see everyone I loved everyday. It was actully really funny when lily walked into the room to find gerard there. Seeing a teacher at a hospital visiting your best friend, creepy right. Anyways we told her what was happining and she seemed to understand. She came twice every week which was good since I could tell that we where drifting apart due to are differences and it really started to annoy me. Lily was like a delicate flower, so innocent and beautiful and me on the other hand, well I like to compare myself to a cat. Outgoing and courageous. Mikey visited here everyday after school and Gerard did the same but sometimes He got held behind in school meetings but he came as soon as he could which I didn't mind, he was just doing his job but he came as soon as he got out always entering the blank hospital room with a smile on his face. Some nights they would bring take out dinner and on Fridays and Saturdays we would and order a movie, lily joined us once. It felt really nice to kick back and relax with everyone that you love, and for once I felt loved. One time after visiting hours where over I made Gerard and Mikey hide under the bed so they could stay longer, and it worked! As much 'fun' as this place was, today was the day I'm leaving. Dr.S was a big help on fixing me up from the inside out. We basically spend an hour a day talking about what's on our mind, possible triggers and happy escapes. Surprisingly all his kindness and words has helped me a whole lot and he told me about all the grate progress we made. Then I finally heard the words I needed to "Katy you're ready to go home" by now all my clothes and gifs that my friends brought me where all in a bag and ready to leave. My scars where still quite visible but healing quickly. Dr.S told me that he just called up Gerard telling him about my release and he was on his way with Mikey! I couldent wait to see them! Even though I saw then yesterday, and the day before, and before that, today would be diffrent. Today I would be free!
I heard a knock at the door and I quickly jumped off the small hospital bed to ansowr it. I was greeted by dr.S then Gerard and Mikey and when I saw them I could feel my heart skip a beat and before I knew it I was in both of their arms. The doctor sat everyone down whail explaining to Gerard how to deal with me. When he was sitting in a chair listining to the doctors orders and instructions about me and Mikey where in the corner laughing out asses off. I saw the doctor hand Gerard a piece of paper followed by a handshake and I smiled when he called me over.
"Good luck Katy! Your in good hands!" The doctor told me and I couldn't help but smile
"I know, thank you for all your help dr.s, I appreciate it'
"Ready to go!?" Gerard asked with a huge smile on his face, i grabbed my things and walked out the door with his arm around me and Mikey holding my hand. Maybe things will be diffrent.

Notes

4/16/14
wow two updates in one day!? I wonder what will happen to Katy next... Looks like we're going to have to wait to find out!