Hopeless for ya

Suddenly my eyes flicker open I look down and im connected to multiple machines.
oh c'mon
I thought for sure i was dead but clearly im still here.
Moving my head left to look at the open door leading into the hallway of .. a hospital? It looked different .. like across from me were rooms with bars and people in them screaming.
I try to glance more out the door only to see a trembling Gerard sobbing to one of the doctors
"I-Is he going t-to be o-okay?" Gerard cries
wow i never actually saw Gerard this upset .. what have I done
"We dont know yet, He hasn't woken up yet, ill tell you the news tomorrow?"
"No! Im not leaving him! Even if its in a life or death situation, Im never leaving his god damn side" Gerard yelled out then after bursted into more sobs
My heart split in two, i cant bear to see Gerard like this,
I try yelling at him to tell him im okay but no words end up coming out, just dry noises.
"Sir youre gonna have to calm down, Its just gonna be a night, and im sure you need some rest" The doctor spoke
"Dont tell me to calm down, Yeah? One night is like a year without my baby, Im staying here even if its the last thing i do. He needs me and i need him you dont understand." Gerard sobbed more.
Tears started to fill my eyes and soon fell when I heard Gerard punching the brick wall probably not knowing what to do, I wanted to hug him and never let go but instead im stuck in the hospital bed with needles/cords attached to me unable to move even the slightest.
I fell asleep from the pain in my heart.
"Youre gonna be okay Frankie, bare with me honey!!!" Gerard yelled from the door
"Yelling wont solve anything, chances are he doesn't even hear you. Now go to the room i assigned you in to spend the night"
That doctor is a fucking asshole, I hope he slips on Gerards tears & like dies or something.

***
I cant stop thinking about him..If he doesnt make it then i'll go to. I cant see my life without him, He makes my life beautiful compared to how it was before, a living hell.
My tears keep falling and my heart keeps splitting each time i think about helpless Frank stuck in that damn bed. Why'd you have to do it Frankie? Why didnt i notice your pain? Its all my fault, i dont think i can live with myself knowing that i killed my other half, Frank's words right there,
I bursted out into sobs
"Frankie you cant go, i need you!" I yelled out sobbing.
3 hours past and i still haven't gotten any sleep instead i was lying on the floor staring at the ceiling.
What do i do with my life.
What if Frank has to stay in this evil place.
What if i can no longer see his oh so gorgeous brown eyes.
What if i cant ever feel that electric current whenever our body's touch
What if he's hovering above me at this exact moment and i would never know cause im in this room doing nothing when i could be holding his hand telling him that everythings going to be okay even though it wont be cause i know its just all. my. god. damn. fault.
I should of fucking been there.
I'm a horrible person.
"Please god i dont need to live .. if anything Frank does!" I prayed, although i never done it before but in this situation how can you not.

***
I believe it was finally morning considering i could feel the sun shining through the window and onto my pale skin. My eyes weren't opening even though i so badly wanted them too
Right next to me i could hear stifled sobs and the repeating words of 'i need you' & 'its all my fault'
What was he talking about? All his fault? I hurt Gerard. I hurt him a lot and i might of just ruined his life thats of course if i never wake up.
Suddenly i lost the ability to breath and i was trying to move and open my eyes but neither was working.
I heard the beeping of my heart slowly fade into a long beep. I heard Gerard stand up
"Help! Somebody! Holy fuck what do i do?!" He yelled then started to cry
Fuck.
I heard multiple feet walk in and the pain of needles being pushed into my fore arm.
"Mr. Way, Youre gonna have to leave" One of the hovering voices said
"No! I-I cant!!" Gerard yelled straining his voice.
.........
Is this what being dead feels like?
Out of no where i could here faint voices like i did when i first started to wake up
"Gerard, I-I am very sorry" One of the doctors said trying to sound comforting
"Fuck! FUCK! Why!? w-why" Gerard cried out
"Would you like a moment with him before we bring him out"
"p-please" Gerard whispered while grabbing a hold of my cold hand,
"Frankie i-" Gerard tried to get his words out but got interrupted by sobs
He gently squeezed my hand, i felt his tears drip down onto my skin
I somehow managed to weakly squeeze back
"F-Frankie??!" Gerard whispered loudly
How do i tell him in not dead?
"G-Gerard" I whispered so quietly i highly doubt he could catch it
But surprisingly he did,well i least i think he did and held my hand tighter in his grip.
My eyes literally flung open, i looked at him .. his eyes were dark red im guessing from crying. Aw my poor Gerard..
The cords and needles that were connected to me were gone and i weakly opened my arms
He hugged me gently.
"I love you so much Frank, I refused to leave your side, im sorry i didnt notice your pain" Gerard whispered then started to cry a little again.
"I-I love you too Gerard and i know .. yesterday i heard you crying in the hall and i-" I paused
"I hate seeing you sad, especially over me" I whispered
He hugged me a little tighter then put his arms underneath me and i was in his arms being carried like a baby..
"Im gonna bring you home okay?" Gerard sobbed while signing me out
"i uh okay" I whispered cuddling up to his chest.

Notes

I made myself cry omf
Sometimes im actually dumb,
HOPE YOU ENJOYED!