Some like to sleep, We like to play

After the kids are in bed Gerard picks me up and carries me to our bedroom, gently laying me on the bed and climbing over me, sealing his lips to mine and sliding his tongue into my mouth. I kiss back as I slide my fingers into his hair and pull him down closer. All the ideas of wild sex I had earlier float out of my mind and I am caught up in the passionate kiss we are sharing and the feeling of his body against mine. We slowly undress each other only breaking the kiss when we need to. Once we are both naked Gerard plants soft kisses up and down my neck as he slides a finger inside me moving it in and out a few times before I tell him I'm ready. He pulls it out and lines himself up, pushing in slowly until he's buried as deep as he can go inside me. I moan out at the feeling of being full and he slowly starts to thrust in and out of me shallowly. We aren't using a condom but sometimes we just need to be as close as we possibly can. As he continues to rock his hips, building up speed I slide my hands into his, linking our fingers. Our lips reattach and we moan into each others mouths as we climax together.
Gerard goes to pull out but I stop him, pulling him down onto my chest and cuddling him like my life depends on it, thinking about him leaving next week. He cuddles back for a few minutes before pulling away and laying beside me. "You ok beautiful?" He asks and I bite my lip in the dark and nod my head whispering "Yeah fine." After we get dressed we get into bed and I fall asleep happy but with a knot of tension in my chest.

The day before Gerard leaves I feel my self control starting to crack and I know Gerard can see just a fraction of how I'm feeling. "Babe talk to me" he pleads as he walks up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as I stand at the counter making Riley and Bandit lunch. "About what" I ask continuing with what I'm doing. He grips my hips forcing me to turn around before saying "Babe don't do the girl thing and say nothing or act like you don't know what I'm talking about and be really upset later. Just talk to me." I feel myself snap and I shove him off me hissing "Like you even care, you're only leaving for a month so it's not like you'll have to deal with my woman shit. Feed yours kids lunch cause god knows when the next time you'll be around to do that is" before running from the room, tears running down my face. I lock myself in the bathroom, sliding to the floor and sobbing into my knees. After a while I cry myself out and shift to lay on the floor curling into a ball, sniffling and catching my breath. My eyes feel heavy and I start to wonder how long I've been in here when I give in and close my eyes letting myself finally sleep.
I wake up to loud banging on the door and Gerard's terrified voice yelling through the door "Z baby please talk to me. Don't do anything stupid, I love you so much. Baby please answer me." I stand up and unlock the door and he bursts in wrapping me in his arms before pulling back and looking me over before pulling me to his chest again. "Baby you scared me so much I thought you might have hurt yourself again." I pull away and stare at him in disbelief before pushing past him and walking to the bedroom climbing under the covers, pulling them over my head feeling so angry that he thinks so low of me that he thinks I would do that to the kids or him.
After a while Gerard comes into the room and climbs in bed with me. He doesn't try to touch me and just lays beside me remaining silent. After ten minutes he rolls on his side to face me and gently places his hand on my cheek. "Baby I love you so much please talk to me."
"I don't know if I can do this without you" I sob out as I start to cry again. His thumb gently strokes my cheek, wiping away my tears. "Do what baby?" He asks. "Everything. Taking care of the kids and just life..." I trail off and he leans over to kiss my forehead. "Baby you'll be just fine I promise. Please don't be so upset I'll be back before you know it." He pulls me into his chest and I sniffle a few times before asking where the kids are. "They're at Mikey's for a while. I'll pick them up later" he tells me and I nod before burying my face in his chest, enjoying one of the last cuddles I will get for a month.

Notes