Some like to sleep, We like to play

Our cuddling soon turns into desperate kissing which then turns into frantic sex with our hands clutching at whatever skin we can reach. I cling to Gerard like I never want to let go and bite my lip to hold back more tears.
Afterwards Gerard pulls me into his chest and tells me how much he loves me and he knows the next month will be hard but he knows we can do it. We lay in silence after that, just cuddling in the darkened room until Gerard rolls his head to look at the clock and says "Babe we need to go get the kids. It's almost dinner time."
I pull myself out of his arms and grab some clothes, walking to the bathroom and taking a quick scalding hot shower. A minute later Gerard comes in and joins me but when he steps in he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me out from under the water saying "Babe you're burning yourself" before adjusting the temperature and releasing me. He steps under the water with me and grabs my chin, tilting my head up before leaning down and sealing his lips to mine. While we are kissing he grips around my thighs and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he presses my back to the wall and he holds me there kissing me like we don't need to breathe. I cling to him again as I press harder into the kiss feeling some of the pain in my chest easing. When we finally pull apart our lips are swollen and our breathing is ragged. Gerard puts me down and we quickly wash ourselves before getting out.
Once we're dressed we go over to Mikey's and pick up the kids. Riley runs straight into my arms when he sees me and says "Missed mommy." I feel bad for basically abandoning them earlier so I wrap my arms around him and say "I'm sorry baby" before pressing kisses to the top of his head. He snuggles his face into my shoulder so I pick him up and carry him to the car.

When we take Gerard to Rays house the next day I feel like I can't breathe. I keep my mouth shut, not wanting to start a fight right now as he's leaving but I feel like my reason for getting out of bed in the morning is abandoning me leaving me feeling completely hopeless. The other guys have their stuff packed into the van so while Ray helps Gerard with his Frank comes over and pulls me into a hug telling me "It's ok Z. I know it's gonna be hard but you'll get through it. I'll make him call you like all the time ok." When I pull away Frank wanders over to play with Bandit while Riley sits to the side playing with his little truck he brought out from the car by himself. We told the kids that daddy had to go away to work for a little while and Riley seems to grasp the concept of going away more than Bandit.
I'm standing there thinking about when Frank and I became ok with each other when arms slide around my waist and I feel a head resting on my shoulder. I turn my head to look expecting it to be Gerard but find that it's Trick. "What are you doing here?" I ask and he smiles and says "Gerard called. He asked me to be here with you when he leaves. Z, I know how hard you're taking this but he's not going forever. It's just one little month and I'm gonna be here the whole time for whatever you need ok?" I nod my head feeling a little better before pulling away and running to Gerard. I reach out and grab his hand linking our fingers and leaning in for a kiss. "Promise me you'll come back" I ask as I feel myself start to cry again so Gerard drops my hand to cup my face and look into my eyes. "Baby of course I'm coming back. Nothing could keep me from coming home to you. I love you so fucking much and this is tearing me apart too." I lean in and press my lips to his in a short kiss before burying my face in his chest as we hug for the last time in a month. The rest of the guys get into the van ready to leave as Gerard hugs the kids and kisses them goodbye. "You guys need to take care of mommy for me ok?" He asks and they nod their little heads. "Be good for mommy while I'm gone and make sure you give her lots of cuddles." When he pulls away from them and stands up again Bandit and Riley run over to me wrapping themselves around my legs making me laugh. Gerard walks over and pecks my lips one last time saying "There's that heart breakingly beautiful smile I love to see."
Gerard then gets in the van and they pull away and I feel my heart being pulled away with him.

The next day Trick comes over and tells me he made me an appointment with my old therapist and that he's here to watch the kids while I go. I stare at him in disbelief and he says "You need someone to talk to. Just go please." I nod my head agreeing that it's probably a good idea.
After the therapy session I stop to get take out pizza for dinner before going home and when Trick leaves I curl up infront of the tv with the kids eating dinner and cuddling before we lay down on the pull out couch together and watch a movie falling asleep all cuddled up together with Princess curled up at our feet.

Notes