You Only Hear The Music When Your Heart Begins To Break

Things are awkward between Gerard and I. I don't trust him again yet and things go back to the way they were when we met, innocent hand holding and nothing else. I won't let him stay over and decline his invitations to stay at his house. I can see he is starting to get frustrated and I begin to feel bad before remembering that he did this to us. Trick is upset that I've somewhat forgiven him and every time Gerard comes over he leaves the room.
A week passes in the awkward state we're in and there is no school tomorrow, giving us a three day weekend. "Z please come stay over this weekend. We don't have to do anything I just want you near" he asks and I sigh internally as I think about it. I decide to give it a chance and give him a nod. His face breaks out into a huge smile and I find myself falling in love with him again. We walk to my house so I can tell Trick where I'm going and get my stuff but when we get there Trick isn't home. I go upstairs to get everything I need for the weekend while Gerard waits in the living room before coming back downstairs and leaving Trick a note about where I am. As we walk out the door Gerard reaches over and takes my bag, carrying it for me in one hand and grabbing my hand with his other so we are holding hands for the short walk to his house.
After we get to the basement I lay down on the bed and close my eyes. After a minute I feel the bed dip and open them to look at Gerard who is now only wearing sweatpants. He notices my gaze travel up and down his body and he smirks to himself before leaning in to kiss me but hesitating at the last second giving me a chance to back out. I decide to give it a chance and tilt my head to give him a better angle. Once our lips meet I find myself giving in to him fast and I begin to kiss back eagerly, parting my lips for his tongue. Our tongues slide together for a few moments before his hands trail their way down my sides coming to rest on my hips, squeezing gently. I quickly find my self control melting away under his touch and I press harder into the kiss and his hands. I feel him smile against my mouth as his hands begin to wander all over my body once again. He slowly starts to remove my clothes planting soft loving kisses all over my body until I am naked underneath him and he pauses kissing me to remove his own pants and grab a condom. Once he's settled over me again he resumes the loving kisses while he slowly fingers me open for him. Once I'm ready he rolls on the condom and slowly slides his way inside me, pausing until I adjust to him and then slowly rocking his hips, sliding in and out. His arms brace either side of my head and he leans down to kiss me as he makes love to me slowly. After a few minutes his arms slide in under my back and he lifts me up slightly so we are pressed tightly together chest to chest and seals his mouth over mine. This changes the angle he is thrusting in and out at and it feels so good I let out a small moan into his mouth causing him to increase the pace slightly. "God you're so beautiful baby. I love you so much" he whispers in my ear and I tighten my arms around him and pull myself closer into his chest. After a few more minutes I reach my climax and Gerard does immediately after. Once he's layed me back onto the bed he pulls out and removes the condom throwing it in the bin. When he comes back to the bed I have already put my bra and panties on and am searching for something to wear when he hands me his too small sweatpants that I borrowed before and one of his t shirts. I hesitate for a second before deciding it will be comfy and pulling them on. Gerard redresses in only sweatpants again and pulls me back onto the bed to cuddle.

We spend Friday laying around the house playing video games and watching horror movies with Mikey. I missed Mikey's company more than I realised. The day passes quickly in a blur of fun and soon it is late and we all head off to bed. Gerard holds me close and presses light kisses into my hair as I drift to sleep. The next morning before we get out of bed Gerard asks me to go shopping with him. I agree and we get out of bed and get ready.
At the mall Gerard drags me into an art supply store and we spend a long time looking at all the things he wishes he could buy before grabbing what he actually came in to buy and leaving again. We wander around hand in hand for a while before I stop for a moment to look at a dress I really like in a store window. Gerard smiles a little and drags me inside the store to look around before telling me to go pick out the dress in my size. I shake my head so he takes my hand and leads me over to the display to choose before taking the dress from me and buying it. Once we leave the store he takes the bag from me to carry it and links our fingers together as we
continue to walk around looking at everything. I find myself becoming more and more relaxed around Gerard and decide to just let go and let things go back to how they were.
Later that afternoon back at his house Gerard asks me to go on a date with him tonight. I hesitate for a second but smile and say yes as it's something we've never done before. He asks me to wear the dress he bought me because he thinks I'll look beautiful in it so I agree to while blushing like crazy.
Once we're dressed up and ready to go Gerard takes us to a nice restaurant and we are seated right away and given menus to look at while we wait for the waitress to come out. I smile over at Gerard and he slides his hand across the table to squeeze mine. "Hello there handsome" I hear someone say and I look up to see the girl from the party standing beside our table in uniform with an order pad smiling down at Gerard. My heart sinks into my stomach and I look over at Gerard to see he looks a little uncomfortable. "Hey Lindsey. How are you?" He replies and I feel even worse because it seems like he likes her and thinks this is perfectly ok until his gaze shifts to me and he says. "Have you met my girlfriend, Z" I relax a little after that comment and throw a short forced fake smile at her. Lindsey shifts on her feet for a second and little uncomfortable now before continuing to ignore my existance and takes our orders her eyes focused on Gerard the whole time. Once she's left Gerard looks over at me concerned and assures me he didn't know she worked here. I shrug it off and tell him not to worry about it. Our food takes a while to get to us so I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and when I come back I see Lindsey at our table talking to Gerard again and touching his hair. I falter in my step for a second before marching over there and taking Gerard's head in my hands to turn his face towards mine and sealing my mouth over his. After a few seconds I pull back and glare at Lindsey before walking to the other side of the table to take my seat again. Lindsey looks awkward before excusing herself and leaving to the kitchen. Gerard looks over at me in disbelief and tells me that I was being rude. I start to get really angry so I lower my voice and hiss out "Well if you want to flirt with her so fucking badly I'll just leave and she can be your date" and grab my purse ready to stand from the table and leave. "Z don't be silly I don't want her I want you. I love you" he tells me trying to calm me down but I am beyond upset by this point. "If you want me why does she think it's ok to flirt with you infront of me and why aren't you doing anything to stop it?" He looks a little guilty before apologising for the way he handled it. "Just admit that you like her Gerard. I can see you do" I say feeling defeated now. "Z she's very pretty but she's nothing compared to you" he tells me and it doesn't make me feel any better.
Our food comes out soon and we eat in silence after Gerard makes a few failed attempts at conversation. After the meal Lindsey comes back out with the bill and when Gerard opens it I see a piece of paper with his name written on it in there. I reach over and snatch it as he is reaching for it and open it up seeing the message 'I had a lot of fun the other night we should get together again soon - Lindsey' followed by her phone number. I feel tears well in my eyes as i realise either he lied about sleeping with her at the party after all or they hooked up again after that. I throw the note back at Gerard and stand up walking out of the restaurant before anyone could see me cry.
I start to walk home and the street I am on is not very well lit. I have stopped crying and now just feel furious at myself for trusting him again. I pause at an intersection trying to remember which way I need to go when a car drives up and pulls over next to me and Gerard calls out the window for me to get in. I shake my head and start to walk again when he jumps out of the car and grabs my arm "Z baby nothing happened with me and her, I swear. Please stop being upset and just get in the car with me" he pleads. I look into his eyes and he looks completely sincere so I decide to trust him one last time and get in the car.

Notes