Sweet sleep, my dark angel

I held the wadded up tissues against my lip, my eyes flicking backwards and forwards between Mikey and Frank, their pacing wearing a hole in the tarmac. Ben hadn't been too impressed when Mikey turned, up, yelling at me that this was all a set up. It wasn't, I tried to promise him that, but he lashed out, his fists heading towards Mikey, so I did what any older brother would do, I protected my little brother. Ben ended up hitting me, Mikey and Frank dragging him off me and pinning him against the wall. I admit, I started hitting him and Mikey had to drag me from the room.

"Stop fucking pacing." I snapped, wincing as the scabs on my lips pulled. "Do you know how fucking annoying it is?"
"No, I have no idea how annoying it is but do you have any idea how scared I was? Its not something any little brother wants to see." Mikey shouted, turning to face me. "Do you have any idea how horrible it is to see your older brother getting beaten, or everything else that was going on there?"
"Shut up Mikey. I didn't ask you to come after me did I? I wanted to put an end to Ben's fucking assholeish behaviour and you came and go involved!"
"Yeah, and it's good fucking job I did! If me and Frank hadn't turned up when we did, you probably would be in a much worse place than you are now. Just be grateful that we came." Mikey paused, his features softening. "He was gonna rape you Gee. Imagine how much that would have hurt, how you would be right now."
"Shut up Mikey. I know what was going to happen. You think I wasn't prepared for that outcome? I knew it was a possibility but I hoped he wouldn't. I just wanted him to leave me alone." I climbed to my feet and dropped the tissue in the trash can. I looked at them both before walking away, my footsteps echoing across the car park.

I walked through the underpass and came to a stop outside the old record store. I hadn't been here in ages due to my lack of money, but now I just needed somewhere to hide, somewhere to forget the past three hours. The bell over the door rang as I pushed through, inhaling the smell of the old cardboard sleeves. The owner, Sarah, smiled at me, waving slightly as I walked over to the rock section and immersed myself in the records, flicking through them to find one I didn't yet own.

The dust was visible in the air, dancing a crazy dance in the beams of light. I took a deep breath and tugged a record out of the stack, holding it close to my chest. My dad said he would buy me some, he told me I deserved it. I guess he was trying to bribe me, to convince me not to tell mom what he did.

I turned over the record, my eyes scanning the words on the back. I was holding a limited edition Black Flag record with extra b-sides and bonus tracks. It was one I had wanted for ages and I was going to make the most of dad's offer, choosing the most expensive records in the store.

"Come on Gerard, we have to get going." My dad called, a strange sort of joy in his voice.
"Sure." I muttered as my head darted upright, my eyes scanning the rack for the final record I wanted, the last Misfits record for my collection.
"You got what you want?" He asked, his eyes on the small stack of records in my hands. I nodded. "Sarah, we'll have these please." The woman at the checkout nodded and took them, scanning the barcodes and placing them in a bag for me.
"Have fun listening to those. I've listened to the Black Flag one and it is absolutely amazing! I'm sure you'll love it." She said enthusiastically.
"Thanks, I'm sure I will." I smiled as I grabbed the bag and followed my dad from the store.

"Are you fucking her?" My dad sneered as we climbed into the car.
"No." I replied.
"Really? She seemed rather eager to have a conversation with you. Why would that be Gerard?"
"Dad, she does it to get more customers, that is the only reason why she's nice." I explained, trying to keep my voice even.
"Really? I was hoping you were, then you wouldn't be gay." He snickered as he pulled from the parking space.

I raised my hand and wiped my eyes, my hand coming away wet. I placed the record back into the display and wiped my hands down my pants. A sigh escaped my lips as I looked out the window, my gaze landing on Mikey, his hands in his pockets, his head bowed as Frank spoke to him. I shook my head almost imperceptibly and walked to the door, ignoring Sarah's questioning glance.

Mikey's head darted up as I stepped next to him. "What's wrong?" I asked, looking straight at my little brother's worried face.
"Somethings wrong Gerard. Something is very wrong." He whispered.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Frank can explain, he came up with it." I turned and looked at Frank, waiting impatiently for him to talk. He rolled his eyes and sighed before opening his mouth to talk.
"If he really wanted to hurt you, he would have. My guess is he is gonna lie in wait and get you when you least expect it. That means you need to be on your guard because he won't leave you alone. He's gonna be watching and waiting until he can get you alone and he will hurt you and he probably won't stop and he will probably go too far and seriously hurt you and you won't wake up." Frank stopped and took a deep breath, his face going red before he turned on his heels and ran.

"Wait!" I yelled as I chased him through the park. "Frank, stop running goddamnit!"
"NO!" He shouted back, stumbling as he ran through the play park.
"Frank, please, stop running." I shouted, my breathing heavy as I pumped my legs faster to catch up with him. I watched from afar as his legs gave up, Frank's slim body collapsing to the ground, sobs breaking free from his chest as he curled into a ball. "Frank please, I just want to talk." I whispered as I dropped to my knees next to him.
"No!" He shouted, his arms crossed in front of him defensively. "Just go away, you're going to leave me like everyone else anyway." His voice wobbled towards the end, his eyes filling with tears.
"Frank, talk to me, tell me what's wrong." I pleaded, my arms held out in front of me, suggesting a surrender. He shook his head, a pained sob breaking free from his chest. It was in that second I saw how vulnerable he was, how broken. I reached out and wrapped my arms around him, tugging his shaking body onto my lap. "Come on, tell me what's up Frank, I want to help."
"They're gone, they're all gone. I'm all alone, none of this is real, it can't be. I don't deserve it, not after what I did. Not after all of that. I don't deserve it." He muttered, his words blurring together.
"Frank, who's gone? Why don't you deserve this?" I asked, pushing at his boundaries.
"They're gone, my mom and dad and brother. They're all gone. If only I didn't run, they would still be here, they would still be with me, they would still be alive." He paused, his body shaking with sobs. "I wouldn't be here, but they would, they would still be safe. They would still be alive."
"Frank, I'm sure that's not true. I'm sure you didn't do anything to them." I muttered as I ran my hand through his hair, his head pressed to my chest.
"He was after me but I ran so he killed them." Frank turned his head so he was looking at me. "If I hadn't have run, they would still be here, my family would still be alive."

I held his shaking body close, running my hands through his hair and whispering innocent things in his ear. Frank held me so tight, his knuckles going white as he held my shirt in his fists. I knew that he needed protecting, not necessarily from anything real, but from the terrors he trapped in his mind, from the things he refused to accept. It would be my job to keep him safe, and I would do that right up until I died.

If my dreams were anything to go by, he would need someone to lean on, someone to hold him close when he feels alone, or to be there when he has no-one else. I would stop his life being ruined even if it meant giving up my own.

I would not be the cause of someone else's destruction, not if it can be prevented.

Notes

hiya guys!!!

Have an update, hopefully it is better than the last.

I haven't edited this one, so I apologise for any errors, in fact, I haven't edited any of them, so I apologise for that..

Anywho, let me know what you think:3