"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" My mom yelled as soon as Frank and James left.
"Falling in love mom, it's a perfectly natural thing." I retorted.
"I can see that, but why with him? Why couldn't you fall in love with someone normal?"
"Because, mom, I don't want to. It fucking sucks when someone you love is ripped away from you and I can't be having that. Not when I have been hurt so much. You couldn't even ask me if I was okay!" I yelled, my face going red with the anger.
"That doesn't mean you can bring him back here and fuck him!" She shouted, her hand raised.
"Why do you care?" I shouted back, flinching when her palm met my cheek.

I hissed as I stepped back, my hand reaching for my cheek. "Gerard, I'm so sorry." My mom muttered as she stepped closer.
"Don't fucking come near me." I hissed, pressing my back against the wall. "Just don't."
"Gerard..."
"No! I got enough of that from dad, I never thought you would hit me. You're meant to care, not fucking hit me because you don't like my boyfriend." I snapped as I walked towards the stairs. "I'm getting my things and I'm leaving."
"You leave that door and you aren't coming back." She threatened.
"Like that's going to stop me. I'm fed up of being used as a punching bag, I can't do it anymore."

"Gee..." Mikey whispered as I walked past his bedroom. "Are you really going?" I hesitated before nodding and walking into my room.
"Sorry Mikes." I muttered as I grabbed a bag from under my bed and began piling clothes into it.
"Please don't go. You don't really want to do you?" Mikey asked.
"Look, I'm in love with Frank and if I stay here, mom will stop me seeing him and I can't lose him, not now."
"She won't stop you Gee, she can't." Mikey's eyes flicked to the mound of clothes I was going through.
"She will though. Mom hates Frank for some reason and I just... I can't live with her if she wants me to stop sing him because I love him Mikey." I slung my bag over my shoulder and left my room.
"Gerard..." Mikey muttered as I walked down the stairs.

---

I knocked on James' door, holding my breath as I waited for a reply. I heard Frank's voice before he tugged open the door, his jaw dropping. "What are you...?" He asked.
"She made me choose." I stated.
"You chose me?" Frank stuttered. I nodded, a tear rolling down my cheek. "Oh baby, come here." I dropped my backpack onto the floor and wrapped my arms around Frank, burying my face in his hair.
"I love you." I whispered.
"I love you too Gee."

"What's going on here?" James asked, stepping up behind Frank. "Who did that to you?" He asked as I looked up, his eyes on my cheek. "Was it your dad?"
"My mom." I muttered as I shook my head.
"Get inside, we'll get you cleaned up." James ordered, picking up my bag. Frank grabbed my hand and tugged me into the house, closing the door behind me.
"Kitchen." Frank whispered, his hand on the small of my back.

I sat on one of the chairs, my hands shaking as I placed them in my lap. James sat in front of me with the first air kit as he cleaned up the blood trickling down my face. I winced as he dabbed the antiseptic over the cut, grabbing Frank's hand and squeezing it tight. "Sit still." James ordered as I flinched away from his touch.
"I'm trying." I muttered through gritted teeth.
"What are these?" James asked pointing to some scars on my arm, only visible where my sleeve had rolled up.
"Uhhhmm..." I hesitated, choking on my words.
"Gerard." James said sternly.
"I did them." I whispered. "I couldn't feel anything and I wanted to feel something."
"Gee..." Frank muttered, his fingers on the scars. "You don't ever have to hurt yourself again."

---

I curled up on the bed, blankets pulled up to my chin as violent shivers wracked my body. Frank and James were sat downstairs, debating what to do about my mother, I had vanished, a sudden sick feeling washing over me.

Frank had told me to sleep in his bed, so I curled up with his pillow clutched in my arms, hoping that it would help settle me, but it wasn't really working. Every time I moved, my head throbbed and I felt like I was going to throw up. My muscles ached and I couldn't focus. Just a typical day in the life of a sick me.

Frank crawled into bed at about 3am, his breathing getting deep as soon as he lay down. He wrapped his arms around my waist and laid his head on my chest. I tugged him closer, sighing as a wave of nausea washed over me. I groaned softly, Frank's breathing catching as he looked at me through the dark. "Baby, you okay?" He asked. I shook my head gently, laying back on the pillows as Frank pressed his lips to my forehead. "You're burning up." He stated.
"I'm gonna throw up." I whispered as I climbed to my feet, leaning on the door frame for support.

I staggered to the bathroom and dropped to the floor, my head over the toilet as I forced up the small amount of food I ate. Frank knelt behind me, his hands on my shoulders, his thumbs making small circles. Once I had finished, Frank grabbed me a glass of water, watching me carefully as I sipped it. "Let's get you to bed." Frank whispered as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
"I'm sorry." I whispered as Frank lay me down, kissing my forehead before curling himself against my side.

Notes

sorry it's shit, going through a really rough time and I'm so contemplating not being here anymore because it would make everything go away. I'm fed up hurting and I just want it to stop so sorry for the absolute dog shit chapter and I hope you can forgive me.