"He did it Frank, he stopped the dreams happening." Alex muttered as he sat on the bed beside me. "You're not gonna go that way now."
"What do you mean that way? Does that mean I'm still gonna get hurt?" I asked, sitting up, my elbows on my bed for support.
"I'm sorry Frank. I wish it could be another way." Alex explained, his fingers reaching forwards and brushing a strand of hair out of my face. "You know, I never stopped loving you Frank, even when I died. You were the last person I thought about."
"Alex..." I began.
"No Frank, hear me out." He ordered, his face tough. "I may have never stopped loving you and I may still love you but even an idiot can see how much you love Gerard so I'm not going to get in the way of it. I know he would never hurt you Frank. He wants what is best for you and will do anything to keep you safe, so my job here is done."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"It means it's time for me to go Frank. It's time for me to leave you alone."

My phone rang, waking me up and shattering my dream into a million pieces. Gerard's name was on the screen, the crazy selfie he had taken above his name. I smiled softly and held the phone to my ear. "I'm taking you out somewhere." He blurted as soon as I had the phone to my ear.
"What?" I muttered, my words slurred with sleep.
"In the morning, I'm taking you somewhere." Gerard clarified, his smile visible in his voice.
"Uh, sure... What about school?" I asked, sitting up and flicking on my lamp.
"It's Saturday tomorrow Frank, there is no school." He pointed out.

"Shit, yeah, okay." I murmured. "What time?"
"Uh... I know it's early but say around 9? It means we get there before it all goes to shit."
"Sure." I replied. "Baby, I have to go, I am shattered. I so need some sleep."
"Sleep well Frankie. I love you." Gerard muttered.
"I love you too." I whispered as I put down the phone.

"Fwankie?" Tim called from the hallway, his voice timid as he stood the other side of my door. I climbed to my feet and tugged it open, smiling softy as he kneaded his fists in his eyes. "Can I stay with you?"
"Of course you can buddy. Come on." I muttered as I grabbed his hand and led him to my bed, getting him comfy before sitting on my desk chair.
"Cuddles?" Tim asked, his blue eyes staring at me through the gloom.
"Sure, just.. uh, give me a second." I replied as I tucked a folded piece of paper inside one of my school books.

I curled myself around Tim, his back to my chest, as he fell asleep, his breathing becoming heavy. Tears pricked the corner of my eyes as I held him, our breathing and heartbeats matched. A part of me longed to have Gerard here, but another relished the chance to hold Tim close to me, to feel like I had a reason to keep fighting.

Since I made him the promise to stop cutting, I hadn't touched a razor, the cuts on my arms healing to pale silvery scars. I guess I really did think of him like a little brother. As someone I couldn't lose and I would protect him until the day I died.

I cringed as he turned over, elbowing me in the stomach, a small smile crossing his lips as he dreamt something amazing. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, my arms still wrapped around Tim as I drifted off.

---

Gerard stood outside the front door, clapping like a little kid while he waited for me to tug on my vans and grab a jacket. When I was done, I waved goodbye to Tim and walked down the stairs, grabbing Gerard's hand as he started walking off towards the center of town. "Where are we going?" I asked as I pulled Gerard to a stop.
"Somewhere it can be just me and you." He replied cryptically before pressing his lips to mine. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to me, moaning into the kiss. "Where we can finish this." He whispered, grinning as he tugged me towards the train station.

We stepped off of the platform and Gerard hailed a cab, gripping my hand tightly as one pulled up, dragging me into the backseat and rattling off an address. "Gee, where are we going?" I pleaded, my legs hung over his, my head on his shoulder.
"We're almost there, then you'll see. I promise." He muttered, kissing me on the end of the nose as the buildings flew past, soon turning into trees then open expanses of fields. "Thanks." Gerard muttered as we stopped at the end of what looked like a driveway winding through the fields. He handed over a couple of folded bills and grabbed my hand again, pulling me up the muddy path.

We stopped outside of a building, the wooden door looking like it could withstand a hurricane. "Gee?" I asked as he slid a key from his pocket and pushed it into the door, turning it smoothly before pushing it open, waiting for me to step through.

I hesitated before taking a tentative step forwards, inhaling the smell of a home. Cookies, flowers and something I could only guess was furniture polish. "What is this place?" I asked, turning slowly until I faced Gerard.
"It used to be my nans. She gave it to me and Mikey when she could no longer live all the way out here. We used to come out here loads, then I just stopped coming." He shrugged as he closed the door and kicked off his shoes, dragging me towards the stairs. "I want to show you something." He whispered.

We stepped through a door, the light struggling to force its way through the thick curtains hanging over the window. Gerard dropped my hand as he walked across the room and tugged them back, my jaw dropping when I saw where we were. "Is this...?" I began. Gerard nodded, and stayed still, waiting for me to say something else. "It's amazing Gerard." I whispered as I stepped forwards to examine the canvases hanging from the walls. "You did all of these?"
"Yeah, all but that one above the mantlepiece, that was my dad."
"They're amazing." I whispered as I stepped closer, sticking my hands in Gerard's back pockets as I looked up at him, taking in his beauty.
"Come with me." He muttered, taking my hand and leading me from the room.

Gerard opened another door that revealed another staircase. We waked slowly up the stairs, Gerard's hand never leaving mine. Once we reached the top, he pushed a door open and led me into the attic, a large bed taking up the center of the room. Ever so carefully, Gerard picked me up, his arms clutching me to his body as he carried me to the bed, laying me down and hunting out my lips.

I raised my head, meeting his lips halfway, tangling my hands in his hair. Gerard sucked my bottom lip into his mouth nipping it gently before pulling back, dipping his head down to suck gently on my neck. I groaned, my hands running down Gerard's sides until my fingers were hooked in his pants, a cheeky smile from Gerard encouraging me to explore further.

I pulled my hands round to the front, fighting with the button on his pants, silently cheering when I had it undone. Gerard helped me slide his pants off, hesitating before leaning down to kiss me again. "We don't have to..." He muttered as my face burned.
"I want to." I replied, chewing on my bottom lip. He nodded as he slid himself down my body, kissing my stomach through my shirt. I sucked my breath in as he hooked his fingers under my pants, his fingertips brushing my flesh.

Gerard slid my pants down tugging my boxers with them and throwing them onto the floor. I tried to wriggle away from his gaze, my cheeks burning as his fingers reached for the hem of my shirt. I help him get it over my head, throwing it onto the growing pile of clothes. Gerard sat back on his heels, his bottom lip between his teeth. "Beautiful." He muttered as he leant down, his lips meeting mine as his hand slid between our bodies, stroking me gently.

My fingers found there way into Gerard's hair, pulling him closer to me as I ground my hips upward, moaning as I felt how hard he was. I ripped his shirt off, running my hands down his muscles until I had my hands on his hips, groaning softly as he slid down my body, gazing up at me through his fringe before taking me in his mouth.

I threw my head backwards, my mouth open in a perfect o as he took all of me, his hands pinning my hips to the bed. I tried to resist the urge to buck my hips, a whorish moan leaving my lips as I felt how close I was. "Ge...Ger..Gerard." I moaned, my hips straining against his grip. "Oh God!"

Gerard looked at me, grinning as he leant down to kiss me, his hand leading mine to his crotch. I hesitated before I took hold, stroking him gently as he kissed me, my tongue sliding into his mouth as he moaned softly. "Frankie." He panted, his eyes wide as he looked at me. I nodded, Gerard leaning down and kissing me as he reached across to the dresser, pulling out a foil packet and a tube.

I heard rustling as he slid the condom on, my heart racing as I prepared to do the one thing I had never done before. I winced slightly as he slid two fingers inside, preparing me for the next step. I captured his lips to distract me, ignoring the pain as I lost myself in the passion. "Frankie, we don't have to." Gerard muttered, concern etched on his face. "We can stop if you want to." I shook my head furiously, biting my bottom lip as he nodded and lined himself up, my face scrunching up in pain as he gently pushed himself in.

I tried to stop a tear falling from my eyes, but failed, Gerard catching it with his thumb before he kissed me, his kiss gentle as I got used to the feel of him, nodding when I was ready. He moved slowly at first, letting me get used to the feeling before speeding up, stroking me in time with his thrusts. "Gee....Gee..." I panted, arching my back as I came, Gerard coming soon after.

---

"I love you." I whispered as I lazily drew circles on Gerard's chest, my eyes locked with his.
"I love you too." He replied, stretching his arms above his head. My gaze traveled south, admiring the way the blankets molded to his hips, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth as dirty thoughts crashed through my mind.
"Thank you." I muttered, elaborating when I saw the confused look on his face. "For making it special, for being careful, for just... for being you." I leant down and pressed my lips to his again, my hand snaking up and resting on his cheek.

Gerard held me close, his heart beating in my ear as I lay on his chest, our breathing slow, our hearts matching pace. I felt Gerard move, his arm snaking around my waist as he held me close, may arm stretched lazily across his stomach. My eyes wandered around the room, taking in the pile of clothes, the bedding on the floor and the pictures on the wall.

Right here, in this moment, was where I wanted to stay forever. Gerard's arms around me, my head on his chest as we became not just boyfriends, but lovers. Taking our relationship further than we maybe should have, but proving our love nonetheless.

Notes

So.... this has like loads left so don't panic when you read what comes next.....

I have written the last chapter and I am confident that you will kill me when you read it. Hopefully that won't be for a long time, but you will still kill me no matter what.