I walked into school looking a lot more confident than I felt. I had covered up the visible bruises and doped up on painkillers, my limp barely noticeable as I walked down the corridor. Frank had already disappeared to the music rooms to drop off his guitar, leaving me to wander the corridors alone.

Ben's car pulled up into the lot, his face pinched as he climbed out. I watched as he walked up to the main doors, his eyes widening when he saw me. "Gerard...What do you want?" He stammered.
"How could you?" I hissed. "How the fuck could you?"
"How could I what?" He asked.
"I wouldn't let you have me so you took me by force. Is that how it works these days?" I snapped, looking up slightly so I could meet his eyes.
"I didn't...I mean, I wouldn't do anything." Ben whispered, his face filled with shock.
"Really?" I almost yelled. "You fucking drugged me and waited until I couldn't do anything to stop it. How could you do that to me?"
"But I have no idea what you're on about!" He yelled, his arms up in defense.
"Really Ben? You can't remember raping me?" I shouted, my eyes darting around the corridor to make sure we were still alone. "I was fucking defenseless Ben. How low can you sink? Do you have any idea what you've done to me?"
"You were raped?" Ben asked incredulously, his jaw dropping as he studied me.
"Of course I was, don't you fucking play dumb with me. The night before last, Bill and Tom's house. Don't fucking deny it." I pushed, praying that he would admit it.
"Gerard, I was in Seattle at the weekend... My aunt just had a baby..." My jaw dropped and I back away, my heart thumping against my breastbone as I turned and ran down the corridor, ignoring both his and Frank's shouts as I ran towards the bathroom.

I slid to the floor inside one of the stalls, my head in my hands as I fought back the sobs. I pushed the heel of my hands into my eyes in the hope that it would stop the tears coming, screaming out loud when they poured over. "Gerard, you in here?" Ben asked, his voice shaking as he pushed open each of the cubicle doors, hesitating outside the one I was in before sliding down it, his back against the wood. "Look, I didn't know okay? I really wish I did because then I could help put this fucker in his place, but I don't. I would never do that to you, not after how broken you where when I kissed you. I can't see you go through that again." He paused, sighing as he tried to think what else to say. "Gerard, I promise you I'm going to help you find whoever did this. I won't rest until they are punished for what they did."
"I'm sorry for accusing you." I muttered, my head in my hands.
"It's fine. I can totally understand, just... promise me that you won't do anything stupid?" Ben asked.

"What, like this?" I muttered as I tugged open the stall door. Ben's jaw dropped as he looked at the stitches on my stomach.
"What did you do?" He asked, turning slightly when Frank pushed open the door, a look of relief on his face.
"I felt so fucking dirty when I found out what happened that I just wanted to die but I knew I couldn't do that so I tried to take my skin off, you know, like the crazy fucked up asshole that I am. I just... I guess it didn't work 'cuz I'm still here and I still have all my skin." I sighed, my eyes wandering over to the pained look on Frankie's face. "But right now? I don't want to go anywhere. I have Frank and I'm not gonna lose him Ben, and nothing will stop me being with him... Even you."

---

Mikey stood in my doorway, his face pale as he looked at the blood staining my shirt. I taped over some fresh gauze and rolled my shirt down, sighing at the tears streaking his face. "I'm fine." I muttered as I walked to my bed.
"Really?" Mikey asked skeptically.
"Yeah, I'm just a little fucked at the minute. Everything hurts and I am so goddamn tired...." I explained, wincing as I reached down for my sketchbook.
"Why didn't you say anything Gee? Why didn't you stop them?"
"You think I wanted this to happen Mikey? I couldn't stop them, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't even make a fucking sound Mikes." I paused, cringing as I sat down, my hand on my stomach. "I was so scared that I wasn't going to wake up Mikes and now I know it wasn't Ben, I have absolutely no idea who it was and that hurts even more. I am shit scared Mikey. They are still out there and what if they come back? What will I do then?"

I lay down on my bed, avoiding Mikey's gaze, his eyes wide as he sat cross legged on the floor, my sketchbook in his hands. "You love him." He stated.
"Who?" I asked, even though I knew exactly who he meant.
"Frank, you idiot. You love Frank." Mikey pushed.
"Well it doesn't take a genius to work that out." I muttered, flinching as my phone vibrated against my stomach.

To: Gerard
From: Frank
Message: I found him

To: Frank
From: Gerard
Message: Who?x

To: Gerard
From: Frank
Message: Tim

To: Frank
From: Gerard
Message: I'm on my way over.x

I climbed to my feet, one hand on my desk as stabbing pains shot their way up my legs and around my back. One look at Mikey told him that I was going out and he needed to find a way to cover for me. "Let me know when you're coming back." He muttered as he helped my down the stairs.

---

I watched Frank as he cleaned dirt off a small boy's face, tears streaming silently down his cheeks. "I've got you Timmy." He muttered over and over again, the little boy's blue eyes unfocused as Frank cleaned him. "I'm not letting you go this time."
"I missed you Fwankie." He muttered, his voice crackling as he spoke. "I was scawed Fwankie, people wouldn't leave me alone..."
"Shhh Tim, I've got you. I'll keep you safe." Frank whispered, his eyes on me as he silently begged for help.
"Hey Tim, I'm Gerard, I'm a close friend of Frank's, do you want to play a game of cards or something while Frank sorts out you bed?" I asked, crouching down so I was the same height as him. He nodded, a shy smile creeping across his face as he looked at me.

"Did it hurt?" Tim asked as he stroked my bruise. "It looks sore."
"It did a little bit but it doesn't hurt now." I explained.
"Has Fwankie been hurting Gewawrd?" He asked, muddling the letters in my name.
"I don't know, we can ask him when he comes back if you want?" I asked, getting a vigorous nod as a reply.

---

I held Frank against my chest, our eyes on the ceiling, our heartbeats and breathes the only sound in the room. Frank knotted our fingers together, his face nuzzled in my neck, his breath tickling me slightly. "Why did Tim ask me if you were hurting?" I asked, my voice low and gravelly. There was silence, Frank's breath hitching as I finished the question.
"Uh... I used to cut myself because I wanted to die but before I left the orphanage, Tim made me promise not to take a vacation like his sister." Frank explained, his lips brushing my neck softly.
"What do you mean?" I questioned, tightening my grip on his waist.
"Tim's sister killed herself. To spare him the pain of knowing what actually happened, the care home people told him she took a long vacation because she wasn't happy. I couldn't see him going through that again because it broke him." He sighed, a tear rolling from his cheek onto mine.

I leant up on one elbow, my lips inches from Frank's. "I will never let you take a vacation." I muttered. "If you go, I go with you."
"Gerard..." Frank tried to protest.
"No." I said forcefully. "I just got you Frank, I can't let you go. If you die, then so do I because I cannot imagine a life without you in my arms nor do I want to live without you. You are the best thing that has happened to me and I can't let it go, not with how you make me feel, not with everything that you have done for me." I petered off towards the end, a lump forming in my throat. "I can't do this whole living thing without you Frankie. Not now, not ever."

Notes