When me and Mikey went home that night, I tried to avoid my mother like the plague. I knew she wouldn't have an issue about us spending the night, but if she knew I slept in Frank's bed, that would just be the cause of the end of my life. Something inside me was screaming out for her acceptance but being with Frank wouldn't get that.

My phone buzzed on the counter, startling me out of my daydreams. I sighed as I reached across, flailing as I fell off the bed. "Goddamnit." I groaned as I climbed to my feet and opened the text.

To: Gerard
From: Bill
Message: Having a party tonight, you wanna come??

To: Bill
From: Gerard
Message: Uh, sure, can I bring my brother??

To: Gerard
From: Bill
Message: Sure, your bf is on the guestlist, so yeah, just bring whoever.

To: Bill
From: Gerard
Message: Cool, at yours?

To: Gerard
From: Bill
Message: Duh xD

I pushed open my bedroom door and walked down the hall, ignoring my mothers glares as I walked past her room. "Mikey, wanna party tonight?" I asked, standing in front of his TV.
"Tom's just text me, and I'll tell you what I told him." Mikey muttered. "Do you really want a socially awkward fuckwit at a party where there is going to be people and alcohol and people?"
"Well yeah, you're my brother, of course I want you there. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." I replied.
"I guess so, just don't be sucking face with Frank all night?"
"Promise." I chuckled as I left the room.

---

"Gerard, Mikey, you made it!" Yelled Bill as we walked up the drive.
"Yeah, told ya I would come." I replied. Bill threw his arms around mine and Mikey's shoulders and dragged us through the crowds towards the bar, handing us each a can.
"Help yourselves, make yourselves at home." Bill laughed as he walked off into the crowd, leaving me and Mikey stood in the kitchen.

Mikey's head spun, almost as if tugged by a string. "I'll uh.. be right back..." He muttered, my eyes following his to a short blonde girl in the corner. I smiled.
"Sure, go have fun. Text me when you wanna leave." He nodded and placed his empty can on the side, grabbing another one before running off.

I walked through the house, my eyes roaming the faces, searching for someone to talk to. I saw Tom leaning against the wall and started walking over to him. Someone pushed into my shoulder, knocking me back against the wall. I went to yell at them but they had disappeared. "Fuck's sake." I snapped as I downed my can, dropping the empty in the trash can. "Hey Tom." I greeted as I walked up to him. "How're you doing?" I slurred, my words blurring into one.
"I'm cool, you don't look it though." He observed.
"I don't feel it." I muttered as a wave of nausea washed over me. "I actually feel like shit."
"Go have a lay down if you want, you know my rooms always free." He suggested.
"Thanks Tom, you see Frank, tell him where I am?" Tom nodded as I climbed the stairs, hanging on the banister for support.

I dropped onto Tom's bed and pulled the blankets around me, shivering as I tried to slow m heartbeat. The nausea refused to leave me alone, every movement making me feel like I wanted to vomit. I shuddered and wrapped the blankets as close around me as I could, curling into the smallest ball I could manage.

---

"Fuck off, just let me do this alone." Someone said from the doorway, waking me up. I kept my eyes closed, hoping they would leave me alone, but footsteps approached the bed, a shadow blocking the small amount of light. "Gerard." It crooned. "Gerard, wakey wakey. It's time for some fun."
"Go away." I said, or at least I thought I did, but no words left my mouth.
"I'm doing it whether you want to or not." The voice slurred, obviously intoxicated. I groaned, holding onto the corners of the blankets and tried to keep them around me as someone tugged on the other end, pulling them completely off my body. "Time for fun." The person slurred as the fiddled with my belt buckle, my mind too much of a mess to stop them.

The person grunted as the slid my pants down my legs, the palm of their hand rubbing my crotch. "Get off." I managed to speak, my words barely more than a whisper.
"Get more? Sure." The voice laughed as he unzipped his pants, tugging them down his thighs in such a hurry that he fell forwards onto the bed.

I attempted to pull my legs up to my stomach, but failed, a hand pinning my body still whilst the other explored, fingers probing places I didn't want them. I struggled weakly against the persons hands, my movements sluggish, nothing but whimpers leaving my lips. "Shut up and stay still!" He snapped, biting down on the inside of my thigh. I flinched, retracting back inside my mind as he had his way, touching me in ways no-one but Frank should be touching me.

"Stay still!" He yelled, his dick already inside me. I cringed back, hissing at the pain. "I swear to god Gerard, you got away once, I'm not letting it happen again!" The person forced themselves into me, blood running down the inside of my thighs. I sobbed, tears streaming down my face, unable to make any sounds, being forced to put up with it. I shut my eyes and tried to zone out, to find a place he couldn't hurt me.

---

"Gerard?" Called a voice, the words sounding like my brother, or Frank. I couldn't tell. "Gerard, what the hell happened?" I whimpered and curled into a smaller ball, wincing as the dried blood pulled. "Gerard, talk to me goddamnit, tell me you're okay." I opened my eyes, my vision blurry as I tried to focus on the figure in front of me. "MIKEY!" He yelled, my ears bursting with the sound.

Footsteps pounded into the room, skidding to a stop as the new addition gasped. "Gee, bro, talk to me." I groaned, wincing away from the sound, burying my head in my hands. "Gerard, what happened?" He asked, worry clear in his voice.
"No." I muttered. "No, no, no, no, no, no..." I shook my head, the words getting more rushed, the volume increasing until I was screaming.
"Gerard, it's okay, calm down, we'e got you." The first voice said, their hands on my shaking shoulders.
"Frankie." I sobbed, fresh tears streaking down my face. "Frankie, I'm so sorry."
"Why Gee?" Frank asked, concern filling his voice.
"Because I couldn't stop him." I muttered. "Because he did it and I couldn't do anything."
"Who did it baby?" Frank asked, telling people crowding at the door to shut up and go away.
"I don't know." I whispered, even more ashamed that I couldn't place who had done it to me. "I don't know...I'm scared Frankie."

"I've got you." He muttered as he wrapped his arms around me, tugged me onto his lap and covered me with a blanket. I sobbed openly, tears streaming down my face, pain ripping at me every time I moved. "I'm never letting you go." He whispered into my ear.

Notes

sorry... *goes and hides in the corner*