hell is all cages & screams of the doomed

***** Next Day*****
***** Jades POV *****

I'm still not quite sure what came over me yesterday, but when Gerard asked me to come back to his house I nodded. I still don't know why I accepted. Could it have been seeing him so broken broke me? I was to sad to concentrate on any thing so I agreed? Or is that fact I'm so scared of myself. That I may do what I did a few days ago. I still don't regret that day I when I tried to. but right know I was so unstable. Memories of Jacob where always coming into my head ever now and then. and the fact that I was the one that pushed Emily over the edge. I am the fact that Emily died. Why am I so messed up? Why do I even... Ok lets not go there it'll only make life worse. Think happy thoughts... Happy thoughts... Happy thoughts...

When I come back to reality I see Kaitlyn trying to calm Gerard down. he is still crying and that's all he has ever done since yesterday. I've been trying to stay out of their lives as much as possible because I don't want to set any thing else off. He must be more unstable then me though. I just feel like s*** because I'm the one who made her leave and made him cry. I know I have stated it over a trillion times but it is my fault Emily died. If I just didn't like him in the first place. if I didn't let me feelings kill some one else's.

I got out of the chair I was sitting in and stood up. They both looked at me but I just ignored it and walked to the bathroom. stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself. I had changed my clothes lately and was wearing a plain black t-shirt and dark blue skinny jeans. I wasn't wearing any shoes and my hair was long and messy. I hadn't brushed it yet so I still had crazy bed hair. my eyes where red with dark circles underneath. so in a nutshell I looked horrible. Once I had finished looking at myself in the mirror I walked over to the sink and a memories started to hit me like a ton of bricks. Memories of Myself, Jacob and Emily.

I found myself running out of the bathroom and into a random room. There was a simple single bed and a bedside table. nothing else. I sat on the bed and started crying all over again. I'm not even sure how I can still cry.
Once I had finished crying I walked out into the lounge room and Gerard was there but not crying as much now. I walk over to him and give him a hug. I don't know why I just needed one. He looks a bit shocked at first but then hugs back. we just sit there hugging for a while until he gets up and walks to the kitchen. I just sit there and thoughts keep going through my head. Maybe I should go back home. I don't need to be here any more. I had no reason to be here in the first place.

I et up from the chair and walk to the front door. I put on my sneakers and go to put my hand on the door nob but Kaitlyn stops me. she stands in front of the door and I see mixed emotions in her eyes. I'm not sure what they are but they are very strong.
"You can't go" she mumbles. still blocking my only way out.
"And why is that?" I ask still very confused. She points over to the kitchen and I see Gerard siting at the table crying again. I walk up to him slowly and make sure he doesn't hear me.
once I get closer I can hear him saying things.

"Why? Why Emily? Why Jade?" I can hear him quietly saying to himself. "Why is life like this?!" he says a bit louder and smashes his fists down on the table. I jump a bit and stub my toe and a bookshelf. I yelp and its loud enough for Gerard to turn around and see me. His eyes are full of sorrow and confusion. I may be sorry for him but I am still a bit scared of him. He starts to walk up to me and I start walking back wards. I don't know why I back up, but something in his eyes tells me bad things. I hit a wall and I see a smirk hit his face then leave as soon as it appeared. He shakes his head and walks away from me. I am left in a scared and confused state. One why did he walk up to me and Two why did his eyes yell 'EVIL' at me? he's over his evilness... isn't he?

Notes

Sorry about that. the austar people came around and mum had to turn the internet off :P but i finished the chapter now :D
Comment and enjoy lovely peoples :33
Magic out--