The only Hope

Gerard’s pov:

I had gotten out of bed and was sitting on the chair now. I looked at Hope.

She had a rough day, we all knew that, but there was one thing that was bothering me… Why was she talking about a little girl? A baby girl?

I folded my hands around my face. I could hope for the best now, but I was definitely counting on a horrible and sad story… This was the worst silence ever. I had only been sitting here for 30 minutes, but it seemed a lifetime. Every second that went by I wished it wasn’t so. That Korse… God…
Then I heard her voice.

“Gee?” I lowered my hands and smiled.

“Since when do you call me Gee?”

She sat up in bed. “I heard Mikey call you that, I think it’s kinda cute.”

It was good to see her smile, although it was still really forced. I don’t blame her…

“So, how are you feeling?” I decided to ask.

“Tired, confused…” Her smile faded. “Betrayed.”

I sighed, I understood the way she felt. “I’m sorry for that, I really mean it.” She sighed.

I shifted on the chair a bit. “Hope, can I ask you something?” The little girl was still on my mind.

Her smile faded instantly and she looked at her hands. “I know what you are going to ask. But really, you still have questions after the background check you did?”

She looked really sarcastic and semi-angry. I grinned for a second. “I already said I’m sorry… And believe me, I really am. I’d bring the earth out of its orbit and wind back time… Just to stop myself from making that stupid decision.” I lowered my head. I sounded kind of sassy, but it was the truth. “Besides, your file hasn’t been updated since the day you went missing, so a background check is kinda useless now.”

She sighed and remained silent for a while. “Why not ask me?” She looked directly at me now.

“Well, we weren’t even sure if your story was true… You might have been a spy and besides, I didn’t want to put you through all that again.”

She snorted. “Bullshit, what did Mikey, Frank and Ray tell you?”

I ran my hand through my hair and didn’t say a word. How was I supposed to tell her? She tilted her head. “I knew this wasn’t your idea… You trust me.” Her eyes narrowed. “The point is: those lovely friends of yours don’t fully trust me yet… What triggered them? Why do a check now?”

I looked at the ground.

“It was the sex wasn’t it?” Her mouth fell open. Shit.

“You know, you are a lot smarter than I had hoped you would be.” Good answer, Gerard… I rested my arms on my knees.

Her look was indescribable, she looked so perplexed. “Oh my god, so this is what I get for trusting a guy? For showing him I fucking love him!?”

“Look, I really didn’t want to do it, but what if they were right? What if you were a spy who wanted to gather as much information as possible by getting in my pants? I had to be sure! This is the only place we’re safe right now, where do we go when this place gets destroyed? Then they’ll all look at me, because I put us all in danger!” I lifted my head.

Tears were running down her cheek, but she wasn’t actually sobbing. She just stared at me with a death glare. Wait… Oh god, what did I say?

“Getting… In your pants?” Her voice was low and her eyes narrowed again. “Is that all it means to you? What I mean to you?” She got out of bed and stormed passed me.

I managed to grab her hand and got up as well. “Hope, please…”

She was trying to free herself from my grip, but it was useless.

“Hope, listen, you know I didn’t mean it like…”

BAM! Her hand interrupted me. Did she just hit me!?

I grabbed the side of my face, releasing her. I looked at her confused. She had covered her hands with her mouth. I guess she didn’t really mean to hit me…

Suddenly she got herself together again and spoke up.

“I have opened up a lot the past few weeks. God, I even started trusting people again! But if you and the others see me as a potential spy, who would whore themselves out to get information, then I don’t want to be here anymore. So don’t worry about protecting me, that will be my job from now on.”

She turned around towards the door. “And if you ever touch me again… I swear…” I could hear she was holding back tears, she didn’t even finish her sentence.

In one movement she opened the door and ran downstairs, leaving me in a very confused state.

I hadn’t said anything during her rant, because she would just ignore it, I knew that much… Besides, I knew where she was heading now.

The barn.

The last time she “ran away” she was hiding there, just about 70 feet from here… I knew where I had to go, but I didn’t want to rush her.

I waited until the sun started to go down, then I walked outside towards the barn.

I could hear her sob. Poor thing…

Notes