Pay the price

When I woke up I was still snuggled into Gerard's side but he was awake. He was holding a remote in the hand that wasn't wrapped around me and he was flicking through the channels on the tv.

"Hey gee." I yawned.

He jumped a little not realizing I had woken up but quickly recovered. "Hey frank." He smiled.

"Where mikes?" I asked tiredly.

"He went home, he said he was bored of watching tv and the baby was asleep so there was nothing for him to do."

"oh shit speaking of baby I've got to feed Nathan." I said jumping up off the couch.

I walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle then walked over to the swing where Nathan was still sound asleep. I unbuckled his straps and picked him up gently.

"Hey buddy." I smiled softly but he still started crying and kicking his feet from being woken up.
"Shhh I know, I know buddy I like sleep too, but you gotta eat." I said walking back over to the couch.

i sat next to gerard and began feeding Nathan. "so how come you decided to stay?" I asked trying not to make the conversation awkward but I was curious.

"I uh-well I wanted to talk to you actually." He mumbled quietly.

"about." I yawned.

Gerard awkwardly scratched his neck and bit his lip before speaking. "Will you take me back."

"What? gerard are you being-"

"I'm sorry I asked I guess you're still pissed." He cut me off then went to stand up.

"Gerard if I wasn't holding Nathan I'd slap you, now sit down." I laughed
"I wasn't saying no I was just asking if you were serious."

"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked confused.

"Well I have Nathan now and stuff and I don't know I just wanted to make sure" I told him.

"What does having Nathan have anything to do with us being together? Or more so why would it make me love you any less?" He questioned.

"Well I mean y'know.... every time I go out with Nathan now I already get treated like shit because people think I'm some stupid teen dad and then putting a gay couple with a baby just makes for hate remarks. I wasn't sure you'd want that, and I mean I don't like going out with Nathan because if I run into people who know me they don't stop just because I have a baby now." I said shyly.

"What do you mean people who know you?" He asked "what are you talking about?"

I pulled the now empty bottle out of Nathan's mouth and put him in one of those circle carts with toys around the edges that he can bounce and roll in, and then went and sat back down next to gee.

i started to cry because I hated even thinking about this. "People who know me...are old clients." I whispered
"gerard it's so fucking humiliating seeing them and especially with the baby." I said my voice cracking.

Gerard looked utterly worried now and was staring intently at me urging me to keep speaking.

"they're fucking animals. They don't care where we are either." I said then wiped my eyes before explaining.
"I was at a fucking baby store the other day with Nathan shopping for new clothes when I ran into a client. He was there with his own fucking wife who was pregnant! And you know what he still did?" I asked.
"He fucking left his wife saying he was going to look for something then came and found me. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and tried to slide his hands into my pants and kept telling me how much he missed my dick. It was disgusting and when he stared kissing me in front of Nathan I wanted to die. I know he won't be able to remember it when he's older but it was still so horrible. That's why I wasn't sure if you'd even want me back, and especially with a baby because people still crawl all over me where ever I go and I still get treated like a slut."

"Frank I love you and Nathan, people make mistakes and you can't change what you used to do but those people who would touch you when they have their own wife and famy are the sluts." He said calmingly.
"don't let them make you think that you're below them because you not. I doubt any of them could handle what you've went through and still be so strong for yourself and nathan." He said

"frank I wouldn't lie to you about that and I'm being 100% serious when I say I love you and I really want to be together."

"Gee I-"

"frank will you be my boyfriend?" He asked

I thought for a moment and wasn't sure what to say but when I glanced up and met his gaze, I could see in his eyes he was being serious and I knew what my answer would be.
"yes gee I will." I said hugging him.

"you just made me so happy, I missed you so much" he smiled with watery eyes.

"I meant it last night when I said I missed you too, I just-
I never thought you'd want me back." I admited

"Frank I never wanted to let you go."

Notes

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