The Personal Assistant - COMPLETED

I woke up alone, the clock read five in the morning. No point in going back to sleep, so I got dressed. It was another sleepless night, lying beside Matt. What am I doing? I know this is wrong on every level, but yet I still accept it. There's something wrong with me, I wonder if anyone else has been in this situation.

I walked into the living room, the apartment was completely empty. So I guess that means Matt wouldn't be driving me today. I wonder where he is, Zacky was probably at his girlfriend's place. Before I headed off to Gerard's I decided to do some research about my situation. Sitting cross-legged on the couch, had my laptop and begin to search for information. How the Hell do I search for something like this?

My homepage came up, Google. Okay let's try this, I begin to type 'my boyfriend sometimes hits me but I haven't left'. Pages appeared, I wasn't sure which one to choose from. I found one site that seemed promising, it's a chat room for women to talk to one another about problems. My hand shook as I clicked on the link.

The page seemed cheerful and someplace safe. I created an account, my username I picked was MCR_ShatteredHeart. Next I started a message board, the title called 'Boyfriend Hits Me'. Figured I should just be straight forward with this. Last thing I did was post my message.

'My name is Shiloh, I have a loving and caring boyfriend and we've been dating for a little over a month. Matthew and I live together but sleep in separate rooms, we have another roommate. I guess I should just get on with it. Two nights ago I had finished painting my room with Gerard........Oh I guess I should explain who he is.'

I quickly checked the time, still had a few minutes before I have to leave so I continued to type.

'Gerard is my boss but he's also a close friend. So after he left I noticed we spilled a little red paint on my white carpet, and I tried cleaning it up. Nothing worked, Matt came home a bit later and noticed the stain. He wasn't happy, called me stupid and then he slapped me hard. I fell to the floor, Matt told be I did something wrong and needed to be disciplined.'

Just typing this out my me flinch in pain but I continued again.

'The next day he told me he loved me and that he was the only who finds me beautiful ad that no one will ever love me as much as he does. When I went to work the next day, I couldn't cover the large bruise that had formed. Gerard noticed and asked me what happened.....I lied to him.'

This was too much writing, I should just finish this up and leave for work.

'Im sorry I guess I should wrap this up. I don't know what I'm doing, last night Matthew punched me in the stomach. I know I should leave, tell someone but I can't. I'm just a weak little girl......'

That's it, I submitted my message. Well I guess I will go to work, check on any replies later on.

Today at work made me forget about all my problems. However, I was so exhausted from two sleepless nights that I passed out on the couch with Bandit.
-------------------------------------------------------
I was in my office, skyping with Lindsey. We were having another fight, I mentioned to her how I wanted Shiloh to live here with us. Something was going on and I wasn't sure how much of her story I believed. "Lynz, why would it be a problem? She's here almost all day anyway." Except recently she's been leaving earlier then usual.

"We're not some homeless shelter, you said she lives with her boyfriend already. Is there something going on between you two?"

So she finally asks what's been on her mind. Nothing was going on, there were kisses and feelings but we pushed them away. I'm going to be honest with her. "I've kissed her a few times but that's it."

"That's it? Gerard, why would you do that? How could you kiss her?"

"Shiloh makes me feel like I can be myself around her."

"You can't be yourself around me?"

"Lately, no. I feel judged ever since My Chem broke up, and I feel like we're drifting apart."

"I don't know what to even say, I'm your wife. We've been married for six years, Gerard we have a little girl. All she is, is a little fangirl who only knows you as Gerard Way, lead singer of My Chemical Romance. I have to go, tell Bandit I love her."

She didn't even wait for me to reply, she just hung up. Shiloh was more then just a fangirl, and I know she saw me as more then just the lead singer. I needed coffee, when I opened my door I noticed how quiet it was. "Shiloh? Bandit?" Where were they?

I finally found them, my heart melted at the sight in front of me. Shy was laying on couch sleeping, "B" was sleeping on top of her, wrapped in Shiloh's arms. I grabbed a blanket and placed it over them. This scene was breathtaking, I sat on the chair next to them and fell asleep beside them.
-------------------------------------------------------
I woke up, crap what time was it? My eyes saw Gerard and Bandit sleeping on the chair next to me. She must have woken up and moved from me to him. I grabbed my phone, it was fifteen minutes until six. There was a text from Matt, 'Please be home on time, I have a surprise.'

I could still make it home on time, I quietly got up and wrote Gerard a note. By the time I made it home it was six exactly, the elevator seemed to move slowly. I ran to the apartment door, unlocked it and went inside. It was a couple minutes after six, was I in trouble?

"Matthew? I'm home." The place was lit up with candles, rose petals everywhere. Soft music was playing, "Matt?" On the end table there was a note, it said for me to come to the bedroom. I bit my bottom lip, what was he going to do? Somehow my feet dragged me into the bedroom, I didn't see Matthew anywhere. Then the sound of the door shutting came from behind me.

Soon I felt hands wrap around my waist, "hey beautiful." Matt started to kiss my neck, I tilted my head to give him better access. It reminded of a girl submitting to a vampire, and him biting her. I was turned around to face Matthew, he looked like he did when we first dated.

His brown eyes seemed innocent, his dark hair spiked and styled, and he was wearing black jeans with a tight black shirt tucked in. "I missed you so much." This was the Matthew I remembered and loved so much. Our eyes stayed locked as his hand came to my face, softly pulling me closer. Our lips were close, only slightly touching, but he made the final move locking his lips with mine.

I felt his tongue trace the bottom of my lip, I let out a soft moan into his mouth. Soon my hand grabbed the back of his neck, playing with his hair and pulling him for a deeper kiss. Without knowing we started moving towards the bed, I fell onto it with him standing watching me.

"So beautiful, my little Shiloh." He unzipped my jeans, pulling them off. Next he lifted my shirt off, he removed his shirt next, then got on top of me. Matt started to kiss my neck again, there would be marks by the morning. "I love you more then anything."

My hands traced down his chest, I could feel his muscles underneath my fingertips. I continued all the way down to his jeans, as he started to unhook my bra I undid his jeans. He pulled them off tossing them to the floor, then he tossed my bra next. I laid there in just my boy shorts and him in his boxers.

Matthew was being so gentle with me, he left soft kisses around my breasts making me moan his name. "Shiloh?"

"Yes?"

"I want you, I need you but I want you to be ready."

"I am, just be gentle."

"Of course, I promise." He kissed me passionately, leaving me breathless. "I know it's your first time." He removed my shorts leaving me completely nude, soon he pulled his boxers off as well. I watched him as he put on protection and started to lube himself.

"Okay, are you sure?"

"Yes." Everything that has recently happened left my mind leaving me in complete bliss and pleasure. Like he promised he was gentle, it hurt when he first pushed into me but soon it all disappeared. My nails dragged against his back when he started to push deeper, his movements became faster.

"Matt..." I let his name escape me. He leaned in, not breaking his movements and kissed me again. Our tongues met and he took control. I felt this bubbly feeling in my stomach, I was close. Matthew leaned close to my ear and started nibbling on my earlobe.

He must have been able to tell I was close because he whispered, "it's okay, just let it go." That pushed me over the edge and I felt electricity escape throughout my body. Matthew came shortly after me, he fell beside me. We were both sweating, breathing heavy, but I was feeling good. His fingers started tracing over my body, sending chills up my spine, I was still sensitive.

He wrapped me in his arms, I felt safe with him again. "Shiloh?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, I love every bit of you." He pulled me closer and kissed my forehead.

"I love you too." My eyes slowly started to close, and after two sleepless nights I slept soundly. At least for tonight everything seemed perfect.

Notes