When You & I Were Forever Wild

'GET OUT OF THE WAY!' Gerard yelled, running towards the rope hanging from the tree. With one swift movement, agile like a cat, he launched himself at it and grabbed it, swinging forward before letting go and landing in the water with a loud splash.

Watching him, wet, only wearing his swim trunks, his face flushed from the sun and the fun, I had a permanent and very cheeky grin on my face. He was so hot. The way the muscles in his arms and shoulders bulged each time he grabbed the rope, the way he ran his hands through his wet hair in order to keep it out of his face, the way his shorts clung to his body, giving me an explicit idea about what they were hiding. I blushed insanely, the heat almost too much to handle all of a sudden. Swallowing hard, I returned my focus to the cards I was holding in my hand and Suki and Lauren, waiting for me to make my next move.

'Wipe off your drool' Lauren laughed and I rolled my eyes at her.

'No I shan't.' I replied, putting down a card.

'Tiny, firm AND wet. And you're free to touch whenever you want.' Suki gave me a shifty look before her eyes wandered back to Ray who had just placed the cooler in the water.

'Yeah? Think you'll find yourself something to touch as well?' I teased and she stuck out her tongue at me.

The entire journey here, her and Ray had been flirting awkwardly in the backseat while Gerard and I were giving each other knowing looks. The plan with the tents was still on and we were both positive about its success. She could barely take her eyes off him.

'Who's winning?' Gerard collapsed on the towel next to me, wrapping a wet arm around me, making me squeal.

I sat up and pushed him away playfully and the way he looked at me made me want to kiss him even more. We were finally alone. We could finally do whatever we wanted to do without being afraid that our parents would interrupt. And we would be able to all weekend. In the sun. At the lake. In our tents. It was perfect.

'Come on!' he smiled and took my arm, pulling me up from the towel again. I could feel his eyes on me, giving me that look that told me he enjoyed seeing me in a bikini just as much as I enjoyed seeing him in those shorts.

'Yo Jane, don't go running off with Tarzan! We have to finish this game!' Lauren shouted after me but Gerard was already giving me a piggy back ride towards the water.

'Gerard, nooo!' I screamed but he ignored my plea and dumped me in the water. I couldn't even pretend that I wasn't enjoying this, my broad smile making my cheeks hurt.

We were being silly and loud and obnoxious and in love and it was the best feeling ever. It was summer, and as he caught me in his arms and kissed me, he smelled of sun screen and the pride I felt over the fact that I was his was making my stomach clench it the most delightful way. Silly Gerard thinking he was the lucky one to have me when it was truly the other way around.

'Am I allowed to say that you look really....cute in this bikini?' he asked, nudging my nose with his.

'Cute?'

'As in hot.'

'Hot then?'

'Yeah. Hot.'

'You look pretty cute yourself.'

'As in hot?'

'Yes.'

Gerard giggled and his arms tightened around me, making our bodies touch. It felt thrilling. Exhilarating. His skin on mine was almost too much too handle. Wow, if I already felt like this now, how would I feel when we....

I blushed, remembering the conversation we'd had last night. I felt more confident, knowing that there was nothing to worry about. That we were on the same page. Right now, in his arms, his lips on mine, knowing the same thoughts were probably running through his mind, I made a silent promise to him. That he'd not only be my first but my only one.

*

'I think I wanna do something in film.' Ray said, throwing another log into the fire.

'Come to SVA with us!' Finn suggested.

'You're going to SVA? To do photography?' Lauren asked and Finn nodded while taking the cigarette from my lips to take a drag.

We were all sitting around the campfire, talking about our future plans. Finn and I had pretty much decided and now it was only a matter of keeping our grades up and getting accepted, obviously. Suki was the only one who had troubles deciding, she was interested in many things, as far as I could tell but she also didn't seem to be in a hurry with making the decision.

'And you, Gee?' Mark asked.

'Cartooning. I wanna get into comics.' I hated talking about it. No one but Mikey and Finn took me seriously when I did, they all thought it was some sort of joke degree.

'You should see his sketches. They're amazing!' Finn's compliment made me blush and I pulled her closer to me, kissing her hair.

'You could do fine arts too if you wanted. That painting you did of Finn...wow!' I gave Suki a grateful smile. I was bad with compliments but I knew she meant it.

'I was thinking about Med School. I hope I can keep my grades up and get a scholarship.' Lauren said.

All this talk about the future and our prospective careers was making me feel somewhat nostalgic. We were growing up. It was scary and exciting at the same time. Soon I would start my first job, I already had my first car. I had Finn, my first serious relationship. Everything was changing so fast, almost too fast. Right now, all I wanted to do was sit like this forever. Wrapped in a blanket with Finn, eating s'mores, drinking beer, with my friends, not worrying about a single thing. As psyched as I was about moving out and being independent, it also meant losing some of the excitement of being a kid. I had to do my best to enjoy those next few years while counting down the days for them to be over. A weird feeling.

'Look...' Finn whispered and nudged me, disrupting my thoughts. 'Suki and Ray.'

They were holding hands! I smiled and Finn and I high-fived under the blanket. SUCCESS!

We sat by the fire for a bit longer, slowly but surely getting tipsy. Finn was snuggled against me, her head on my shoulder, only lifting it occasionally to steal a kiss from me. She looked adorable with her messy hair and freckled face and I liked the feeling of her arms around my waist and mine around her shoulders. I knew that I would never ever let her go.

'Suki, will you come pee with me.' Finn asked as we got up, ready to go to bed.

'Yeah, you got a flashlight?' Suki asked and Finn nodded. I knew she was about to tell her that she would be sharing a tent with me after all. She gave me the look and I smirked at her, walking over to Ray.

'So...'

'You wanna share the tent with Finn.' he said before I could even start.

'Umm yes.'

'Cool. I'm gonna share with my girlfriend anyway.'

What now? Girlfriend? Huh?

He laughed at my shocked look and then slapped me on the shoulder. 'Aww man, you've been so busy canoodling with Finn that you haven't even noticed that Suki and I were dating? And now you tried playing the matchmaker and I bet you and Fi felt really smart. Ha! We've been seeing each other for weeks now.'

That cheeky bastard! I couldn't believe it!

*

I stared at Suki, speechless and shocked at her revelation. She was already Ray's girlfriend? And had been for almost as long as I had been with Gerard? How on earth had she been able to keep it a secret? And more importantly, WHY had she felt the need to?

'I don't know. It was just exciting to sneak around, I guess. And when we realized that you and Gee were trying to hook us up...well, then of course we HAD to mess with you. It was too funny watching you, thinking you were oh so brilliant and secretive. Hahaha! You're cute. Really. It means a lot that you are still thinking about your best friend's happiness while you're so caught up in your own.' she hugged me tightly and after getting over the initial shock, I hugged her back, laughing.

'So...how serious are you two?' I asked, letting go of her again.

'We haven't done it yet, if that's what you mean. I guess I'm not ready. Ray has...umm...more experience.' wow, really? That surprised me.

'Does that bother you?' we had started walking back to our tents and I could see Gerard talking to Ray, most likely about the same thing.

'Nah. I'm actually kinda glad. I like a man who knows what he's doing.' she giggled. 'What about you and Gee?'

I swallowed, thinking about our conversation again. And the fact that I had told him to keep the condoms. The fact that I had brought the one Josh gave to me too.

'I think I'm ready. I know I want it to happen and I want it to happen with him.'

'Maybe tonight's the night!' she teased but I elbowed her in the ribs.

'Not with four other people sleeping just a few feet away from us! That's not very romantic.' I lowered my voice as we approached the others and Gerard looked up.

'True. But hey, don't let us stop you.' Suki whispered back.

'Can you believe these two!' Gerard wagged his finger at Suki as she ran back over to Ray.

'Sneaky as fuck!'

I was so happy for them though. And it saved Gerard and me a lot of time and energy which we could now spend on other things.

'Yeah yeah. Goodnight.' Ray grinned, leaning down to open his tent.

Here goes nothing, I thought as I watched Gerard walk over to our tent to do the same. We would spend our first night together. Again, the mixed feeling of nervousness and excitement made my heart beat faster but this time, I wasn't scared. I had literally spent the whole day staring at him, impatiently waiting for this moment. Impatiently waiting to be alone with him.

I climbed into the tent and found Gerard already opening my sleeping bag for me to get in. His bed was on one side while mine was on the other, leaving space between us. Too much space. Didn't he want to sleep next to me? Or was he waiting for me to suggest it?

'Can you move a little closer?' I asked and the smile on his face revealed that he had indeed been waiting for my question. Immediately, he dragged his sleeping mat and bag next to mine.

And then we were side by side in the dark.

I wrapped my arms around him and he pulled me even closer until our noses were touching. All I wanted was to kiss him but right now, this felt so incredibly overwhelming that I couldn't. It was perfect. There was no need to say or do anything but hold him like that. Anything else could wait. Anything else would happen when the time was right.

He closed his eyes, sighing happily while my hands caressed his back. What would I give for the opportunity to do this every night? Just fall asleep beside him, breathing in his scent, knowing that his beautiful face would be the first thing I'd see when I woke up in the morning.

Everything. I'd give everything.

*

I opened my eyes the next morning, feeling a comfortable weight on my chest. Finn. Wrapped around me, fast asleep, softly snoring. Somehow we had both managed to get out of our sleeping bags during the night and now we were as close as we could get, our legs entangled and my arms draped over her. Everything was perfect in those few seconds before I realized I had an erection. Great. Once again, my body decided to betray me. I tried to shift, carefully, so I wouldn't wake up Finn. Ugh, whyyyyy. Right now I wasn't even sure if it was the normal early-morning-hard-on or if I was simply turned on by the fact that my girlfriend was on top of me. Either way, it was embarrassing and I had to somehow position myself in an angle where she wouldn't notice it.

Then I heard her giggle.

Oh no.

My cheeks were on fire as she raised her head to look at me with a cheeky grin. Dear God.

'Sorry.' I muttered, still trying to move but now her arms were on either side of my body, keeping me from it.

'Why do you always apologize for it?' she whispered and I blushed even more.

''Cos it's embarrassing.'

'I think it's cute.'

'CUTE?' I gasped. How on earth could she think it was cute?

She smiled at me and climbed off of me to lay down beside me again, giving me somewhat of a relief although I missed her closeness immediately. But her hands were in my hair and her lips on mine before I could even protest. Well that didn't help! How would I ever get rid of that boner now?

'Can I touch it?' Finn asked and I was momentarily confused before she looked down, biting her lip.

HOLY WHAT?

'NO!'

'Why not?'

'Because-' I actually couldn't think of a good reason but I was so shocked by her proposal that I had to stop her.

'I want to. Touch.' she kissed me again, so sweet that it intoxicated me. 'Don't be shy.'

The way she looked at me made me combust on the inside. Jeez. This was too much. And yes, maybe I was shy but how couldn't I be? Wouldn't she be if I suddenly proposed touching her down there? Wait, if she wanted to touch me did that mean I would get to touch her too? Oh. Well that on the other hand, would be hot.

Her kisses got more intense and I could feel her hand traveling downwards. I tensed up, trying my best to concentrate on how turned on I really was, despite the panic. What if I came instantly? Oh God, please don't let me come. Ugh. Pretty sure that's not what you ask of God, like, ever. Oh no. Her tongue snuck into my mouth as her hand slipped inside my underwear and I almost chocked on my desperate gasp. Fuck. As her fingers wrapped around me I was ready to pass out. Wow. It felt good. Without even knowing what I was doing, I pressed against her even more, moaning into her mouth, the urge to touch her too so overwhelming it made me shake. Steadily, the feeling of being embarrassed and nervous disappeared and as she moved her hand up and down on me, the only thing I could think about was how much I wanted her. How much I loved her. I moved my hand under her shirt, finding her breast, smiling into the kiss at how perfectly it fit into my palm, as though made for just my touch. My breath hitched in my throat as her fingernails scratched the nape of my neck, all the sensations of her touching me, her kissing me, me kissing her, touching her, caused my brain to completely shut down. And I guessed that was good. Really, what was there to be scared of? It was Finn. She loved me! All I wanted was to make her feel good because fuck, she made me feel PRETTY GOOD right now. So my hand left her breast, making its way between her legs. I broke away from the kiss, looking at her in order to ask permission and she nodded, a shy smile on her face. Holy fuck, you are so hot, I thought, smiling back at her as my fingers found her most sensitive spot. Oh my. She felt incredible. As I gently began touching her there she sighed my name and it was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard.

Notes

Gerard and his surprise erections are my favorite thing

that sounds perverted but I don't care especially when it leads to some action ;)

(I might be able to update again this weekend but can't promise, I hope this makes up for the wait though)