When You & I Were Forever Wild

I woke with a start, disoriented. It was still dark, and something soft and warm was wrapped around me, a comforting feeling that made me forget about my nightmare immediately.

Gerard stirred and tightened his grasp on me before opening his eyes, his lashes fluttering against my skin.

'Are you okay?' he asked, the sound of his voice just as soft and warm as his skin.

'Yeah...just had a bad dream.' I replied, reaching for his hand, lacing my fingers through his.

It was different now. Between us. Good different. Our innocence was gone but had been replaced by something equally exciting. Intimacy. We were kids that had done something grown-up, not because we wanted to know what it was like, not because we succumbed to the precocity like most of our peers, no, simply because we loved each other. Would anyone be able to understand? Could anyone be able to understand? Probably not. For adults, the only reason 16-year olds were having sex these days was because they couldn't keep it in their pants.

My mother would kill me if she knew. Or most likely, she would kill Gerard instead and then lock me into a tower at the end of the world. Good thing she didn't know. Good thing she would never find out. And good thing, that I didn't give a fuck about whether or not anyone would understand. I had no regrets. Loving Gerard and being loved by someone as mesmerizing as him was an honor and I would never know how I deserved it.

'I feel like that's my fault.' he was referring to our little excursion to Overbrook.

'Shhh. You made it up to me, remember?' I stroked his hair and felt his arm curling around my waist. 'Also, it was kinda fun.'

He raised his head, looking at me in surprise. 'Say what now?'

'Oh shut up.' I laughed, infatuated by his cheeky smile. Dear Lord, he was so gorgeous, I just had to kiss him.

Things heated up again pretty quickly, the fact that we were still completely naked made everything even more exciting. How could Gerard ever think that I hadn't enjoyed it when there was so much to enjoy? I couldn't even figure out what I enjoyed the most and knowing that he thought he hadn't made it special enough for me killed me.

I watched as he sat up, grabbing another condom.

'Did you practice that?' I asked, kissing his shoulder.

'Maybe.' he replied shyly.

I was feeling brave and his confession made my heart blossom, so I surprised him by climbing onto his lap, already trembling with anticipation as I felt him against me.

*

My mind was blank as Finn got on top of me, guiding me inside of her. I held my breath as our eyes locked, and I waited for the insatiable feeling that I knew would take over soon. This time, it didn't seem to hurt her and I relaxed even though I didn't dare to move just yet, letting her do it her way. She smiled, biting her lips, driving me crazy just by looking at me.

'I really really really love you.' she murmured, repeating the same words I had whispered to her earlier and the butterfly mosh-pit in my stomach completely lost it.

I pulled her close, kissing her neck, feeling her fast pulse under my lips. She started moving on me, sending my mind and body spinning out of control.

'Finn...' I sighed, my hands running up and down her body, not knowing where to find their right place because all of her was right.

This time, the sweet tension didn't build quite as quickly as before and this time, the sensation of being inside of her was even more magnificent. She felt warm, soft, just right for me and I was confident, confident that I felt just as right for her. I leaned back on the bed, holding on to her hips, the sight of her straddling me enough to send me over the edge but I pushed back, not willing to go there without her. She still moved slowly, as if to drag it out and I was glad she did because I could take in every little detail. Every little delightful detail. We weren't just girlfriend and boyfriend anymore. We were lovers.

I ran my hand down her belly, my fingers finding that special spot again and she gasped as I started touching her there. I could feel her tightening around me, causing me to moan out. Yes, she liked that, I was on the right track. Feeling a bit more daring, I pushed up gently to meet her, her smile encouraging me. Fuck, this was pure bliss. Finn leaned down to capture my lips and I put more pressure into what my fingers were doing as she quickened her movements. Wow. So much was happening that I momentarily forgot where I was. I was also pretty sure that I couldn't feel my legs, not that I needed them right now. My tongue teased her as another moan escaped her mouth, the sound so arousing I could swear I grew even harder.

'You feel so good.' Finn panted, sitting up again and pulling me with her. I couldn't speak. Otherwise I would have told her just how good she felt too, how much I loved doing this with her, how much I loved making her feel this way.

Her breath quickened as I rubbed her clit while thrusting up into her, still gently to make sure I didn't hurt her but she seemed far from being in pain. On the contrary, I knew exactly what she was feeling as her hands grabbed my shoulders, looking for something to hold on to. I was fascinated by her, fascinated by her growing pleasure, fascinated by the fact that I was responsible for it.

'Oh God, Gerard!' she called out, her body starting to shake and all I could do was kiss her, again and again.

*

'Holy shit.' he muttered breathlessly, staring up at the ceiling and sounding as if he had just experienced something so wondrous, he wasn't sure whether or not it had actually been real. I knew because I was feeling the exact same way.

I giggled, my hand searching for his and he grabbed it, pulling me close so my head was resting on his chest.

Round 2 had been a success. Although I was feeling a bit sore, there had been no pain, no tension, no shyness, no awkwardness. Maybe we had tried a little too hard the first time, after all the talking and preparing and thinking about it too much, that was only normal. I trusted him 100% and I had let go, making him do the same thing. That's all it took.

'Please don't ever get bored of me.' I whispered, knowing that I could never get bored of him.

'Impossible.'

His heart was beating fast and strong and I nuzzled him, taking in the fact that he smelled like me. As I slowly drifted off to sleep, his hand was in my hair, softly stroking it and I muttered his name, feeling like the happiest girl in the world.

The sound of the phone ringing woke me and I sat up with a jolt, confused and startled. Gerard groaned next to me, pressing his face into the pillow and I would have been distracted by his angelic beauty if it wasn't for the sudden realization that it was most likely my mom or dad calling to check in on me.

'Shit!' I jumped out of bed, grabbing my panties and Gerard's shirt from the floor, hastily putting it on before sprinting out of the room and downstairs.

'Hello?' I answered, trying my best to sound normal.

'Finn?' my mother's voice greeted me. 'Were you still asleep?'

I looked at the clock, discovering that it was almost noon. Ugh.

'No! Just listening to music so I didn't hear the phone right away, sorry mom. Everything alright?' I lied, hoping she would buy it.

'Where's Josh?' oh shit.

'Umm, he went to rent a movie, since it's raining and we have nothing else to do.' I said, sounding so convincing it surprised me.

'I see. Well, I want him to call me as soon as he gets back, okay?' she didn't trust me and little did she know that she had every reason to.

'I'll tell him. Say hi to Aunt Liz and Uncle Matthew for me.'

'I will. Bye honey.'

Oh no. I had to tell Josh to call her! Luckily he had written down his girlfriend's number for me, in case of an emergency and this certainly was an emergency.

'Whatcha doin'?' Gerard was standing in the doorway, wearing only his underwear. Holy moly. He looked hot. Sleepy, lovely, half-nakedly hot.

'I have to call Josh, don't distract me.' I picked up the phone again, dialing the number on the piece of paper.

'Distract you? Never.' he smirked and I smiled before putting my finger on my lips, signaling him to be quiet.

*

'What do you wanna do today?' I asked Finn while we were eating breakfast in the kitchen. Why did that sound so suggestive all of a sudden? I wasn't even thinking about THAT. Was I?

Well, it was hard not to considering how cute she looked, her hair all over the place from last night's activities, wearing only my shirt and underwear.

'Go back to bed with you.' she smiled, almost causing me to choke on my cereal.

My face turned red, not just due to the coughing fit and Finn laughed at me, enjoying my bashfulness while I cursed it. But really, was there anything left to be bashful about? I only had to get used to feeling like this, after all, I loved this new form of nearness between us. Just how powerful would this be once we were married? Now, more than ever before, marrying her one day was still my intention, my purpose even. She would wear my ring one day, just like she wore the smile I had put on her face by being the one for her. No, I didn't understand why or how but I knew that was a fact, an indisputable matter.

We did end up staying in bed all day, watching TV, play-fighting which led to making out and making out which led to play-fighting, eating pizza and having deep conversations about things that really didn't make any sense, at least they wouldn't to anyone else but us. Suki called to see if we were up for a saturday night adventure but Finn fobbed her off, telling her we'd had enough of our friday night adventure. I could tell that Suki had further questions but Finn wasn't willing to answer them. No doubt she would try again.

'I'm gonna take a shower. You coming?' shower? With Finn? Like, together? Hell yeah.

Even though I was only wearing my underwear and shirt, it felt awkward stripping off in front of her and I could tell Finn was feeling the same way. Even though we had been as close as we could get just a few hours ago. Or possibly because? It was different now in the exposing daylight, our minds not clouded by desire, raw almost. I had seen her naked, she had seen me naked but had we really looked?

I pulled off my shirt, letting it fall to the floor while pretending not to watch her as she did the same. It was nerve-wrecking.

'Are we being shy?' I asked, the question answering itself.

'We're being total virgins.' Finn giggled, the sound relaxing me a little bit.

She stepped in the shower, turning the water on before stepping out again to look at me. The way her long brown hair was falling down her shoulders, covering her breasts, the way her eyes wandered over my body before she approached me, her cheeks flushed and her scent so sweet that I immediately wanted to soak it up and wrap myself up in it.

My hands reached down to slide off her underwear, the last remaining piece of fabric, as hers did the same with mine. This was just as exciting as sex, I thought, only different. I couldn't describe it. I felt close to her, just as close as I had felt when we made love. Then nothing was awkward anymore. On the contrary, it felt normal in the most exciting way. Like we'd been together forever, doing this.

'I wish we could do this every day.' Finn said, as I washed her hair.

'Once we're in New York, we'll do this every day. Promise.'

She turned around to entwine my pinky with hers, smiling at me because she knew I meant it.

I did. I really did. And looking back now, I'm almost as naive as I was back then, believing in the certainty of our promise, believing we were the only ones who could break it.

Notes

Okay since it's Valentine's Day, I thought I'd give you more sexy time. ;)