Cemetery Drive

The days had slowly turned into weeks, and soon enough it was February 14th; the day I was going to pick Frank up from the treatment center in New York. I had passed most of my time at the stable, riding Spartan and helping to re- train another horse; an older paint mare named Emma, she was easy to handle and a good beginner horse. I often thought about Frank when I was training her; he always said that Spartan was too much for him and he never knew if he was going to get bucked off or not. Luckily Spartan had yet to accomplish this.

I didn’t sleep the night before, too anxious to finally get to see him and have him home again; so instead I sat on the couch and watched shitty horror movies all night (so I couldn’t have even slept if I wanted to), and drank a pot of coffee to myself, fearing if I had any alcohol I would be too inebriated to make the drive East.

I had spoken to Frank the night before, he was eager to get home, I could tell that just from the sound in his voice. He’d asked me to pick him up around 1:00 in the afternoon, so he had time to settle in at home, but still got the morning to say goodbye to everyone.

I glanced over at the clock hanging in the kitchen and saw that it was just after nine in the morning; I let out an audible groan and dramatically flopped into a laying position on the couch. Roger lifted his head from the end of the couch and looked up at me with a very annoyed on look on his face.

“Sorry buddy.”

I said as he lay his head back down and closed his eyes.

I tried all morning to keep myself busy and my eyes off the clock, but as the minutes dragged on I found it harder and harder to do. It was almost noon when I decided I couldn’t take sitting around the house much longer and grabbed my purse, calling a goodbye to Roger, as I walked out the door.

I stopped and picked up coffee for my drive, taking an obscene amount of time to order the same thing I got every time; I had to stall somehow.

I took the Belleville Turnpike before catching the ferry and driving through Lower Manhattan towards the treatment center, pulling my car into the parking lot fifteen or so minutes early. I smoked a cigarette and checked my make-up before going up to the doors and walking into the brightly lit lobby.

A bigger lady sitting behind the front desk smiled as I walked up to the desk.

“Can I help you dear?”

I smiled at her demeanor and nodded my head.

“Ah yeah I hope so. My boyfriend is getting released today and I am here to pick him up.”

Her smile grew wider at my words.

“So you must be Nicole?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“Frank has told everyone all about you.”

I blushed at her comment and tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

“He’s just finishing up in the meeting room; you can go down there if you like.”

My blood froze at the thought of finally being able to see him after so long.

“Just down the hall and to your left, second door on the right.”

I pushed myself away from the desk and started down the hall, thanking her and reminding myself to not sprint down the hall to the room. I turned left down the hall and saw that the second door was open revealing a larger room with big picture windows around the exterior walls; the light filtered in through the bare branches of the trees standing just beyond the building. I poked my head around the corner of the door just as a man standing behind a podium started to speak to the crowd of twenty or so people.

“I would like to take a moment and congratulate a young man here with us today on all of his accomplishments and hard work within the program. As most of you know he will be leaving us today and I wish him the best of luck! When he came to us a month ago he was a different person than he is today, I’ve gotten to watch him progress though-out the program and I am so proud to have worked with him. Frank would you like to come up and say a few words?”

The room erupted into claps and shouts as I watched Frank stand up from his chair amongst the crowd and walk up to the podium. He had a smile on his face and his eyes had their shine back; this was the boy I fell in love with. He had also gained back the weight he’d lost, no longer looking like a sack of bones encased in pale skin.

When he got up to the podium his eyes scanned the crowd never seeing me huddled by the doorway; for that I was grateful. I wanted to hear what he really had to say good or bad; I needed the honesty of his words to these people that shared a likeness with him that I would never understand. He ran a hand through his hair and cleared his throat before speaking.

“Good afternoon everyone, as most of you already know my name is Frank and I am an addict. I came here thirty days ago still detoxing off of crack cocaine; I couldn’t sleep, I barely ate and I was having spells of drug-induced psychosis. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I will tell you that it gets better. Every day is better than the last, and I honestly can’t wait to get home and start living my life again. That’s what has really gotten me through all of this; the fact that I eventually get to go home and start living my life as normally as I can. My girlfriend Nicole brought me to detox, giving me the ultimatum: get sober or get out. I wouldn’t have come here initially if it wasn’t for her; but I am so glad I did. People always say that you can’t get sober because of other people, they say that you have to do it for yourself; and I did. But I also did it for her, because she deserves that.”

I felt a blush creep across my cheeks as people started clapping for him again.

“Nicole, I love you.”

He nodded his head in my direction and I felt several pairs of eyes on me.

His eyes had locked with mine just after he finished his speech. The smile that drew across his face when he saw me leaning against the doorframe made me feel lightheaded and sent my heart racing.

Frank stepped away from the podium and started walking towards me. I uncrossed my arms and stepped into the room, crossing the linoleum floor in my beat up Converse to him. We met halfway, Frank’s arms open in a welcoming gesture. I stopped just before him, putting a hand on his face looking at him for a moment.

“I’ve waited all month for today.”

I said as tears started to leak from my eyes. He placed his forehead on mine, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“Me too baby.”

I grasped him around his middle and cried into his shoulder, not believing that any of this was real. He smoothed my hair and whispered in my ear, telling me everything was okay. He released me and reached for my hand, wiping the excess tears from my face as I smiled up at him.

Standing before me was the same boy who dented my car and wouldn’t leave me alone. The boy who begged me to go to prom with him and confessed his love to me in a rented tux, under soft gymnasium lights, Aerosmith playing over the speakers. The boy who would sit and play his guitar, a cigarette hanging from his lips completely lost in thought. He was himself again, and I could see it just from the look in his eyes.

“I have a few people to say goodbye too.”

He said while he played with loose strands of my hair.

“And then we can go home?”

He kissed me then. Our first kiss since he went in and it set the world right.

“Then we can go home.”

He whispered in my ear.


Frank introduced me to a few people, names of which I don’t remember, though they all seemed like nice enough people I was indifferent to who they were and what they did for a living. I was too concerned with holding on to Frank’s hand and never letting go.

We walked through the halls, Frank’s backpack slung over his shoulder and his suitcase in his free hand, mine occupying his other. The lady in the lobby grinned at us as we walked passed, waving her hand and wishing us ‘all the best’ as we walked out of the front doors.

We placed Frank’s bags in the trunk and got into the car, both of us lighting cigarettes as I put my car in gear and backed out of my parking space. I had brought along one of Frank’s Black Flag CDs and turned the stereo on as ‘Rise Above’ filled the car as he smiled at me from the passenger seat. I drove us through New York and hopped the ferry taking us across the Hudson River and back over into New Jersey; it felt good to finally be going home together.

“Happy Valentine’s Day by the way.”

He grinned at me from his seat. I looked over at him and matched his grin, taking a drag before adding,

“Best Valentine’s gift ever.”

“Definitely.”

He said reaching over and placing a hand on my thigh.

“You want to stop and grab something to eat? Pizza maybe or whatever, I don’t know what they fed you in there.”

“The food was actually pretty good to be honest, but yeah pizza sounds great. You know I’ll never turn it down.”

“This is true.”

We made the stop at the pizza parlor, sitting in the bar stools laughing and kissing like we were love-sick teenagers; which is what we were I guess. With the fresh, hot pizza sitting in the backseat, we pulled into the parking lot for our apartment, Frank bouncing his knees in excitement.

“We’re home.”

I said as I shut the car off, my hand on the door knob waiting for him to do the same.

“Can I tell you something Nicole?”

He asked, looking at the floor.

“Anything.”

The tone in his voice made me nervous and I was worried about what he would say.

“There was a point, when I was in treatment when I didn’t know if I would ever come back here. I mean I didn’t know if you wanted me to come back here after everything that happened.”
I watched him as he spoke and fiddled with the lighter in his hand, knowing exactly how he felt.

“I know how you feel Frank.”

“What do you mean?”

He was looking at me now, concern showing on his face.

“I didn’t know if you would want to come back after you got out, I was scared you would get out
and pack your things. Move somewhere else, start over.”

We sat in silence for a while, contemplating what was said.

“Well I’m home and I’m sure this is where I will stay.”

I looked over at him and smiled.

“Okay.”

That was all that needed to be said. Things were different between us, but maybe not in a bad way. We had both changed slightly, and for the better; we could move on now, together.

“Well? Let’s get inside before this pizza gets cold. I don’t want my first meal home to be cold you know.”

I laughed at his sarcastic tone, punching him lightly in the arm and opening my door, getting out and going to the trunk to help him with his bags. We took the elevator up to the 7th floor and walked down the hall to our door. I fished my keys out of my hoodie pocket and clicked the lock over, opening the door.

I put Frank’s bags in the bedroom and found him in the living room, hands in his pockets looking around the room.

“Where’s Roger?”

I scanned the living room not seeing him.

“I’ll go check the bedroom.”

I said going down the hall to our room. I found Roger in the laundry basket, curled up with a sleepy look on his face. I picked him up and went back to find Frank, who was still in the living room only this time he was sitting on the couch and lit cigarette in his hands.

“Found him!”

Frank broke out in a grin as Roger jumped from my arms and hopped up on the couch, nudging Frank with his head begging for a pet.

“I think someone missed you.”

I sat down beside them and grabbed a smoke.

“He did, didn’t he?”

I watched them bond for a moment, smoking my cigarette. I got up and grabbed the pizza off of the table and brought it into the living room, stopping in the kitchen to grab a couple cans of Coke. I set everything down on the coffee table and clicked on the TV. Roger was now asleep on the back of the couch behind Frank; he looked over at me with a small smile.

“Come here.”

I moved down the couch and placed myself beside him, my head resting on his chest with his arms wrapped around me.

“God I missed you.”

His lips found mine, and his fingers tangled in my hair as I brought my hand to rest on his
shoulder before pulling away breathless.

“I missed you too.”

He kissed my forehead before resting his cheek against it, breathing a sigh of contentment.

“Things will be better now, I promise.”

“I know Frank, I know.”

Notes