It had been a week since I dropped Frank off at detox; I had smoked cigarettes, drank coffee and Jameson and wrote all week. Having him gone was harder than I ever imagined. He called a few days ago and then again when they transferred him into treatment. His voice sounded clearer and more upbeat, but the telephone conversations could never replace him sitting next to me and animating his words with his hands; which he always did.

The first night alone wasn’t so bad, but the second night was when everything finally sunk in, I tossed and turned all night, and when I finally did get some sleep I was jerked awake soon after only to find an empty spot beside me where he should be. We had never been apart for this long and the limited contact we’d had was eating away at me.
I was sitting in my computer chair drinking a coffee to help sober me up some when the phone rang, the shrill sound echoing off of the apartment walls.

“Hello?”

“Nicole! I’m coming over and I’m bringing a buddy.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Kyle, I’m not really up for company right…”

“See you in half an hour!”

And with that Kyle hung up in me. I sighed, he called a few days ago claiming that I was being anti-social and needed to get out more, I could agree with him but I wanted to be alone right now a wallow in my misery. Roger came up and placed a paw on my leg, looking up at me with his big yellow eyes; begging to be picked up and cuddled. I sat with him on my lap until I heard a knock on the door, quickly followed by another knock; Kyle.

I went and got the door letting him and his companion in while Kyle wrapped his arms around my neck, squealing in my ear. He pulled away as I looked over at his friend, swearing I had seen him before but couldn’t remember where or when.

Kyle must have seen the confused look on my face and quickly explained who his friend was.

“Nicole, you remember Mikey from your birthday?”

That’s where I have seen him before, the awkward tall kid I spilt my drink on at the party, the one who gave me the worried look while Frank was sitting on the kitchen floor.

“Yes I do, nice to see you again Mikey.”

I said trying my best to sound cheery.

“Yeah you too.”

He said quietly.

Kyle looked between us and walked into the living room, the two of us following close behind him. He was pulling out a bottle of rum, and placed a 12 pack of beer on the coffee table.

“I figured we could take a break from the whiskey?”

I smiled at him and nodded to my desk, where a few empty bottles of Jameson and one with a
third left sat.

“Works for me!”

I said plopping myself down on the couch and lighting a smoke. Kyle ran into the kitchen and grabbed some glasses before sitting beside me on the couch; I looked over at Mikey standing in the middle of the room looking more awkward than ever.

“You know you can sit down Mikey?”

I said a light hint of sarcasm in my voice.

He smiled back at me and went and sat on the love seat across from us as Kyle passed around now full glasses of rum and Coke, before turning to me and smiling.

“So Nic, what have you been up to this past week? I haven’t heard much from you.”

I sighed and took a gulp if my drink.

“Wallowing in my misery.”

I whispered. I didn’t know how much Mikey knew about the whole situation with Frank being away at treatment and the less he knew the better; I mean he seemed like a nice enough guy, but I barely knew him and he certainly didn’t know Frank, other than the time at my party where he was one of the people that found Frank laying on the floor by the cupboards, high as a kite.

“Well tonight we are getting drunk as fuck, so Nicole I suggest you unwallow your misery.”

I laughed at him, shoving his shoulder in a friendly way.

“Is that even a word?”

“What word?”

Kyle said clearly not catching on.

“Unwallow?”

He shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his drink.

“It is now.”

This sent all three of us into a fit of giggles (Well Mikey more or less smiled and let out a small chuckle) as we toasted our drinks and touched them to our lips.

---

I could hear Kyle singing along to Queen in the living room, his voice was high-pitched and very off key, mainly from all the liquor he had consumed; he was wasted to say the least.

I was sitting on the balcony, sipping from a bottle of wine, chain-smoking and thinking about Frank; I needed a break from the boys at the moment. Kyle was to high energy and Mikey had maybe said twenty words the entire time he was here.

I didn’t know where Mikey had wandered off to until he poked his head around the patio door, his voice startling me and making me spill some of my wine.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to!”

He said rushing over to assess the damage.

“It’s okay Mikey, and besides it’s payback isn’t it?”

He chuckled and gestured over to the chair sitting unoccupied beside me; Frank’s chair, the one he would sit in when we had coffee in the morning or drinks in the evening. The one he sat in a played his guitar, filling the air with the sound of it.

“Mind if I sit?”

His voice brought me out of my daydream.

“Yeah sure.”

He sat, and I stuck the wine bottle out in front of him silently offering him some. He took the bottle and drank slowly from it.

“It’s nice out here.”

He said, I turned to look at him and nodded my head in agreement.

“Yeah it is. I come out here to think a lot these days.”

“About Frank?”

My head snapped to look at him and I’m sure my expression read something along the lines of
“Fuck right off.”

“Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

“You’re right it’s not.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes before I broke it.

“But in all honesty, yes I was thinking about him.”

“You miss him?”

I sighed at the question; miss was an understatement.

“Yeah so much.”

I paused for a moment as Mikey stayed silent.

“It’s like I don’t know how to function without him. I mean I made it eighteen years without knowing him and now that I do, I don’t know how I made it that long without him.”

Mikey nodded his head and passed the wine back to me.

“Where is he? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“You remember my party?”

I asked looking over at him, as he nodded his head.

“He was high that night, and the next day I found him getting high with his buddies. He went to detox and treatment shortly after. So that’s where he is.”

My statement hung heavy in the air as Mikey processed the information.

“I’m sorry Nicole.”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“At least he went, that’s all that matters.”

We slipped into silence once more; I sat and lit a cigarette.

“What was he on?”

I hung my head and took a drag off my smoke, letting it burn my lungs.

“Crack cocaine.”

“Oh!”

“Yeah, it was pretty bad.”

I finished my smoke and flicked the butt of the balcony.

“We’ll I hope he gets better, for his sake and yours.”

I smiled at him knowing his words were genuine.

“Me too Mikey, me too.”

At that moment Kyle came bursting through the patio door, his loud words incoherent. Mikey and I turned to one another knowing it was time to get Kyle home; I stood up and brushed past Kyle grabbing the phone and calling the number for a cab.

When the cab showed up I walked Mikey and Kyle out, just to make sure Kyle got into the cab at all.

Mikey was just about to slide into the car after Kyle when I reached out and touched his arm.

“Thanks, for tonight. Listening I mean, Kyle’s way of therapy is getting drunk obviously.”

We both laughed at the comment.

“Anytime Nicole.”

“I’ll be taking you up on that.”

I smiled.

We waved goodbye as Mikey got into the cab and it pulled away from the curb; leaving me shivering in the cold and standing on the sidewalk alone.

Notes

As promised chapter twenty-one!
I will say I'm not a huge fan of this chapter but it's more or less a filler anyways until Frank gets out of treatment.
Chapter twenty-two should be out within the week. (I hope)
My updates will be slower now, mainly because I am super busy and also for the fact of this story is coming to an end in the next 5-10 chapters and I don't want it to end.
Anyways until next time!

Peace, Love + Cigarettes,
Helena.