The sun shone bright upon my face, making it hard to open my tired eyes; Frank’s arms were securely wrapped around me, holding me close to his body. I turned to face him, trying my best not to wake him; he looked completely at ease, snoring softly as his eyes fluttered occasionally. I kissed his cheek and snuck out of our bed, throwing on some pajama pants before exiting the bedroom. I started the coffee and went to take a hot shower while I waited for it to finish brewing.

My shower was quick and as I stepped out of the tub, grabbing for the towel placed on the counter, I heard footsteps in the hallway. A smile played on my lips as the bathroom door opened; there was Frank standing in the doorway, sleepiness still apparent in his eyes, his hair sticking up in all directions.

“Good Morning.”

I said as I wrapped the fluffy towel around myself.

“Morning.”

He rubbed his eyes and then rested his hands on the counter, looking at himself in the mirror. I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso, letting my head press against his shoulder. He smiled at me in the mirror and grabbed for his toothbrush sitting in the cup by the soap.

“What do you want to do today?”

He squirted toothpaste on his brush and turned to me.

“I’m not sure, anything I guess.”

“We could go down to the stables and go for a ride. I’ve been working with this mare: Emma, you can ride her and I can take Spartan.”

He turned to face me and nodded his head, continuing to brush his teeth.

After getting dressed I met Frank in the living room, seeing he had a coffee for me waiting on the table. I sat beside him and took a sip, letting the warmth from the liquid heat me from the inside.

“When do you wanna leave?”

He asked from beside me; I felt the couch dip as he moved closer wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“Whenever you want to is fine.”

He gave me a quick kiss and got up from his spot.

“Well I’ll go get dressed and then we can go; I’d like to see Spartan.”

“Okay.”

I said as he got up and walked out of the room into our bedroom. When he emerged not even five minutes later I was still planted on the couch smoking a cigarette, looking out the patio windows.

I turned to him and got up, grabbing my now empty coffee mug and going into the kitchen to put it in the sink.

“You ready?”

I shouted, not knowing Frank was right behind me until he kissed my cheek.

“I didn’t know you were there.”

“Well I am.”

He said in a husky tone, still kissing my face; I leaned back into him and closed my eyes, savoring the feeling of having him near me, having him touching me. I turned to face him and brought my hands to the base of his neck, crashing our lips together as his hands came to rest on my hips. Our kiss was slow at first, but quickly picked up pace as our hands began to wander, his lips left mine and travelled to my neck, lingering there for a moment before pulling away completely.

I was left breathless, as I held myself up against the counter; Frank was still standing in front of me, his hands on my shoulders; his cheek resting on mine.

“We should get going.”

He nodded against me, his breathing slowing. I gently pushed him off of me as I moved away from the counter, going to grab my jacket and shoes.

When we were ready, we said a goodbye to Roger and walked out of the apartment hand in hand, going towards the elevator; both of us wearing matching grins and laughing the whole way to my car.

We drove the whole way to the stables blasting The Bouncing Souls “Hopeless Romantic” album, both of us singing along while Frank played air guitar. We were giggling like school girls when we pulled into the parking lot, tears nearly pouring from our eyes from how hard we were laughing. I turned the car off as we got out, walking into the barn and towards Spartan’s stall.

We said hello to Spartan and I tugged on Frank’s hand pulling him down another stall wanting to show him Emma.

“Is this that horse you were telling me about?”

He asked, stroking Emma’s nose as she nudged against his hand.

“Yeah, this is her, she’s great. You okay to tack her up yourself?”

He turned to me and smiled.

“I think I’ll be okay.”

Emma placed her nose on Frank’s shoulder, nibbling on his jacket. We both laughed at her persistence for his attention as I walked away going to grab Spartan out of his stall.

We got both horses tacked up and headed out on the trails; it was a nice sunny day, warm for being February and a perfect day to go for a trail ride. We cantered through the fields and by noon we were seated under the tree Frank and I had shared our first kiss; both of us were puffing away at our smokes as we sat side by side, talking about all that happened the month we were apart. The horses stayed close to us and searched for any green among the dry brown grass.

“Thanks for suggesting this Nicole; it’s been nice to come out here.”

I smiled at him, leaning my head on his shoulder.

“It’s going to suck when Emma’s owner comes back though. I really like her.”

I lifted my head and looked over at Frank.

“Well to be honest there’s something I haven’t told you yet.”

He gave me a questioning look as I continued.

“Emma’s not going anywhere, I ah… well I bought her for you.”

He looked at me in disbelief as I waited for him to give me a response.

“Nicole…”

“I know, it’s too much but I saw her and just knew I had to get her for you.”

He wrapped his arms around me in a hug before kissing me and pulling me to my feet.

“Thank you baby, I can’t believe you did this.”

“Think of her as a Valentine’s day gift.”

“You’re amazing, you know that right?”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Whatever you say…”

He shook his head at me and pulled me towards the horses, we mounted them and rode the trails for a while longer before deciding to head back home.

---

I was standing by the stove stirring a pot of boiling noodles and checking on the pasta sauce every so often while Frank was in the shower. Roger was dancing around my feet begging for a pet or some food; it was always one or the other.

“Hang on a minute buddy, I’m almost done.”

I said stepping over him, and almost landing on his fluffy tail making him bolt into the living room seeking solstice on the couch. I heard Frank turn the shower off just as I was setting supper on the table; Frank and I ate on the couch so often I figured it would be nice to use the table my Dad got us once in a while. I threw on some Modest Mouse and grabbed a bottle of wine out of the fridge, placing in in the middle of the table just as Frank came around the corner into the kitchen.

“What’s all this?”

He asked, coming to stand beside me and placing a hand on my hip.

“Supper, I thought we could eat in here tonight.”

“Sounds good to me.”

He said taking a seat at the table. I walked into the kitchen to grab us some wine glasses,
coming back to the table and setting them down, and then taking a seat myself. I reached for the wine and went to uncork it, when Frank reached out his hand and placed it over mine.

“Nicole, I don’t know if wine for me is such a good idea.”

I froze and placed the bottle back on the table, a look of embarrassment crossing my face.

“Sorry, I didn’t even realize.”

His hand came to rest upon mine, as he shot me a lopsided grin.

“Hey no worries, I’m not saying never, just right now isn’t such a good idea.”

I smiled back at him, grabbing the wine and going to put it in the fridge.

“Nicole, you can still drink if you want. It doesn’t bother me, honestly.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded at me as I resumed my seat, pulling the cork out of the bottle and pouring myself a glass.

The rest of dinner was quiet as we ate in silence, just enjoying the fact that we were together again, it wasn’t until we sat down on the couch to have an after dinner smoke that conversation picked up again.

“Can I show you something?”

I turned to look at him as I exhaled smoke out of the side of my mouth.

“Yeah sure.”

Frank got up from the couch and went into the bedroom, returning a minute later with his acoustic guitar in his hands. He resumed his spot on the sofa and paced the guitar in his lap.

“I ah, well I wrote this while I was in treatment. Nobody but my councilor has heard it yet, I wanted you to be one of the first.”

We smiled at each other before Frank started tuning the instrument, strumming the strings a few times and clearing his throat. He looked nervous as he fiddled with the knobs some more, chewing on his bottom lip and constantly stopping to wipe his hands on his pants. I reached a hand out and grabbed for his, taking in my grip and pulling it towards me; his gaze following soon after.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s just me.”

He let out a noise that sounded like a mix between a chuckle and a sigh, as he looked down at his guitar again.

“That’s what’s making me nervous.”

I knitted my eyebrows together and squeezed his hand.

“I put a lot of emotion into this and even though there is nobody I would rather share this with, it’s still nerve wracking.”

I leaned forward and placed my lips on his cheek, whispering near his ear.

“You’ll do great Frank.”

I sat back down and let go of his hand, letting him grab the pick off of the coffee table and strum a few time before beginning.

I turned to you, you turned away.
From everything that I'd never say.
Wrote it down, but tore it up.
Recycled dreams could never live up
to the name that haunts my every waking day
and time slips by when high
expectations leaving me be
and I know that this day is worth it
in every single breath I take in.

The song repeated itself once, and as the last strum of Frank’s guitar resonated through the room I realized there were tears dripping down my face. He looked up at me before placing his guitar on the floor and pulled me into a warm embrace.

“Frank that was beautiful.”

“I’m glad you though so.”

He lifted my chin and wiped the tears from my face before bringing his lips to mine, kissing me until all my tears had dried and only then did we break apart.

“I love you.”

He whispered, our foreheads resting against the others.

“I love you too.”

I whispered back, pulling his body closer to mine as our lips met again.

Notes

Here is chapter twenty-three! I know it's been a long time coming and I honestly have no excuses for the wait. I've re-written this so many times that I lost count and even with doing all that I still feel like it's not the best; but regardless here it is.
Credit for the lyrics goes to Pencey Prep's "Heroin Slow"

Next chapter will (should) be up soon!

Helena.