The One of Mine
So Why Don't You Blow Me A Kiss Before You Go?
I went back home and got ready that afternoon to meet Gerard at his house again. He’d invited me over to watch a movie with him and I decided it couldn’t be that bad. Except to work on our project that day, I’d only really ever been over his house with all the other guys there but it was a movie, so it’s not like we’d have to talk much.
I took a shower and dried my hair before getting dressed. I put on a little eyeliner, admittedly, just for Gerard. Once I was sufficiently put together, I grabbed my jacket and slipped it on along with my converse. I said goodbye to my mom before heading out and walking across the yard to Gerard’s house.
I walked up his front steps and knocked on the door. Mikey came to answer it with a huge smile on his face. He was so adorable, kind of like a puppy. I greeted Mikey who led me downstairs into Gerard’s room.
Gerard stood up when I entered and thanked Mikey for walking me downstairs. “Thanks, Mikey. Now beat it.” Mikey gave a fake-pouty face before losing his control and smiling. He said goodbye and went back upstairs.
“So what movie do you want to watch?” Gerard asked, walking over to a stack of DVD’s on a shelf.
“Anything’s fine.” I didn’t really care what movie we watched, so I let Gerard decide.
He ended up choosing some crime drama I’d never heard of before. It wasn’t too bad, the plot was pretty interesting but I still couldn’t focus on it. All I could think about was the fact that I was with Gerard. In his room. Alone.
The movie was about halfway done when it got to a bit of an … awkward spot.
Watching a kiss scene in a movie was always weird, especially with another person watching it with you. I don’t know why, but I just feel weird when two people are making out on screen and you were just left to awkwardly watch, but when someone else is there, it’s even worse. I can’t really explain why, it’s just the fact that you know what you’re both seeing and it’s not pleasant for either of you.
Suddenly, in the middle of my uncomfortable thoughts Gerard asked, “So what was your first kiss like?”
I looked at Gerard with a confused look. It was the first real attempt at conversation he’d given all night, and a strange one at that. Why did Gerard care? It was kind of a weird question and something I really didn’t want to talk about with him. “Excuse me?”
“You know, your first kiss. Mine sucked. It was with this girl, Clare McGovern. We went to see a movie with some friends and she drove me home after. It was just the two of us in her car and when we got to my house I turned to say goodnight but before I knew it she had her tongue down my throat. It was gross. So what about you?”
“Why are you telling me this?”
Gerard casually shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Oh I don’t, I was just wondering if I was the only one who had a terrible first kiss.” Just a friendly conversation. Something I wasn’t particularly good at.
I decided to try and play along anyway. Gerard wasn’t so bad and I actually kind of liked talking to him, but still I didn’t want to get too attached. “Mine wasn’t terrible.”
“Well then how was it?” he pushed for a further explanation.
“Nonexistent.” I answered him bluntly and he gave me a look of confusion. He raised his eyebrows as if he were shocked but didn’t over exaggerate it too much. “What?”
There really wasn't much to it. “I never got around to it," I answered honestly. I’d never had any friends let alone a boyfriend, and no one ever liked me. How could I have ever kissed anyone?
“You never got around to it?” he asked a little mockingly, as if to say that was a stupid answer.
I didn’t care though, and I didn’t really care for this conversation either. I answered him with short responses before reverting my gaze back to the now very uninteresting movie as not to push the topic any further. “Nope.”
But Gerard being Gerard meant that he wasn’t going to sit back and take my lame answers. He was far too persistent for that. “So, never?”
“Never.” Gerard was so surprised to hear that I’d never kissed anyone before. Sure, I was sixteen and by this age most other girls would have already swiped their V-Cards and then some, but if it wasn’t clear before, or in case you’ve forgotten, I’d like to remind all of you that I was different.
I’d never been close enough to anyone for that kind of stuff. Gerard was the first person I could say I even felt comfortable around in years, and I still wouldn’t say that we were friends.
“Does it bother you?” He just wouldn’t drop it. “Why should it?” I answered coldly to get him to back off, but of course he didn’t catch my hint.
“Well it’s just that you’re sixteen; most people have gotten a little further than kissing at our age.”
“Have you?” I asked sarcastically with just the right amount of attitude. His cheeks flushed red at my question, I guess it made him uncomfortable. Woops.
“I mean, you’re sixteen, Gerard. It’s normal, right?” At this point I was really just trying to be an ass-hole, which I was really good at. I was also trying to drop the subject, but Gerard saw right through me.
With a devious smile playing across his lips, he replied, “That’s my business. The real problem here is the sad fact that you’re sixteen and still a lip virgin.”
“I wouldn’t say that. My lip is pierced; that’s got to count for something.” I tried to at least get off the topic of kissing with Gerard, so this was the best I could come up with, but Gerard still wasn’t going to give up on it. “No it doesn’t,” he protested.“A piercing is not the same as a kiss.”
“Well it doesn’t matter. I’m not getting kissed any time soon so you might as well drop it.” There was a slight awkward pause and I immediately regretted saying that. Gerard turned away, looking back at the movie yet still so obviously uninterested in it.
A few moments passed before he got up and turned off the television and came back to sit with me. “We’re gonna fix this now.” I looked at him with a fake-confused look even though I knew exactly what he meant.
“Let’s get your first kiss over with.” I started to protest but Gerard covered my mouth with his hand to silence me. "Leigh, you’re gonna have to do it sometime; why not with someone you trust?” I rolled my eyes at him considering I wasn’t able to verbalize my disagreement. He let go of his hold over my mouth and gave me another look. I sighed and said, “I don’t see why this is necessary.”
Gerard then quickly replied, “It’s not.” I barely had a second to say any more before Gerard had his lips on mine. I didn’t see it coming. Sure I knew there was the possibility that we could have gotten to it eventually but I didn’t expect to get to it so quickly. I felt my eyes close as Gerard’s lips stay pressed firmly to mine.
He was gentle, not pushing too hard but not so light that I couldn’t feel him. I was tempted to bring my hands up to hold his face but fought the urge seeing as this was a one-time thing. I didn’t want Gerard to know how much I was really enjoying this.
The kiss ended as quickly as it had been initiated. Gerard pulled away leaving me wanting more of what I was likely to never have again. “See, that wasn’t so bad.” He had no idea. Sure, the kiss itself was amazing but the fact that I’d never get to feel his lips on mine again sucked, and it almost made the kiss not worth it at all. Almost.
“Yeah, I guess. Could have been worse.” I tried to sound uninterested but I could barely contain the butterflies in my stomach. Gerard had just kissed me. In case you missed it, he kissed me. I loved the feeling but also kind of hated him for it. I would never have that feeling again and now I was stuck constantly wanting to feel his lips on mine again but knowing I never could.
“That’s…good.” There was a slight, inevitably awkward pause considering what had just happened. “Is it weird to say that your lip ring made it…I don’t know, more…interesting?” Excuse me? Did he…enjoy it or something?
I wished Gerard would stop leading me on so much, it was cruel. I didn’t want him to know I thought this because I would just end up looking stupid if he ever found out. After all, it’s not like he felt the same way.
I didn’t want to drag on the topic anymore, I just wanted to go home. I stood up and tugged at my skirt to straighten it out before looking back down at Gerard and replying, “Yes, it is. Well Gerard, it’s been real, but I think I should head home.”
I got up and turned to leave as Gerard stood up. “I’ll walk you.” He started to say before I turned back and said, “That’s alright. Goodnight, Gerard.” He didn’t fight me on this, he just let me go and quickly said, “Okay, goodnight,” as I left to go back home.
I took a shower and dried my hair before getting dressed. I put on a little eyeliner, admittedly, just for Gerard. Once I was sufficiently put together, I grabbed my jacket and slipped it on along with my converse. I said goodbye to my mom before heading out and walking across the yard to Gerard’s house.
I walked up his front steps and knocked on the door. Mikey came to answer it with a huge smile on his face. He was so adorable, kind of like a puppy. I greeted Mikey who led me downstairs into Gerard’s room.
Gerard stood up when I entered and thanked Mikey for walking me downstairs. “Thanks, Mikey. Now beat it.” Mikey gave a fake-pouty face before losing his control and smiling. He said goodbye and went back upstairs.
“So what movie do you want to watch?” Gerard asked, walking over to a stack of DVD’s on a shelf.
“Anything’s fine.” I didn’t really care what movie we watched, so I let Gerard decide.
He ended up choosing some crime drama I’d never heard of before. It wasn’t too bad, the plot was pretty interesting but I still couldn’t focus on it. All I could think about was the fact that I was with Gerard. In his room. Alone.
The movie was about halfway done when it got to a bit of an … awkward spot.
Watching a kiss scene in a movie was always weird, especially with another person watching it with you. I don’t know why, but I just feel weird when two people are making out on screen and you were just left to awkwardly watch, but when someone else is there, it’s even worse. I can’t really explain why, it’s just the fact that you know what you’re both seeing and it’s not pleasant for either of you.
Suddenly, in the middle of my uncomfortable thoughts Gerard asked, “So what was your first kiss like?”
I looked at Gerard with a confused look. It was the first real attempt at conversation he’d given all night, and a strange one at that. Why did Gerard care? It was kind of a weird question and something I really didn’t want to talk about with him. “Excuse me?”
“You know, your first kiss. Mine sucked. It was with this girl, Clare McGovern. We went to see a movie with some friends and she drove me home after. It was just the two of us in her car and when we got to my house I turned to say goodnight but before I knew it she had her tongue down my throat. It was gross. So what about you?”
“Why are you telling me this?”
Gerard casually shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Oh I don’t, I was just wondering if I was the only one who had a terrible first kiss.” Just a friendly conversation. Something I wasn’t particularly good at.
I decided to try and play along anyway. Gerard wasn’t so bad and I actually kind of liked talking to him, but still I didn’t want to get too attached. “Mine wasn’t terrible.”
“Well then how was it?” he pushed for a further explanation.
“Nonexistent.” I answered him bluntly and he gave me a look of confusion. He raised his eyebrows as if he were shocked but didn’t over exaggerate it too much. “What?”
There really wasn't much to it. “I never got around to it," I answered honestly. I’d never had any friends let alone a boyfriend, and no one ever liked me. How could I have ever kissed anyone?
“You never got around to it?” he asked a little mockingly, as if to say that was a stupid answer.
I didn’t care though, and I didn’t really care for this conversation either. I answered him with short responses before reverting my gaze back to the now very uninteresting movie as not to push the topic any further. “Nope.”
But Gerard being Gerard meant that he wasn’t going to sit back and take my lame answers. He was far too persistent for that. “So, never?”
“Never.” Gerard was so surprised to hear that I’d never kissed anyone before. Sure, I was sixteen and by this age most other girls would have already swiped their V-Cards and then some, but if it wasn’t clear before, or in case you’ve forgotten, I’d like to remind all of you that I was different.
I’d never been close enough to anyone for that kind of stuff. Gerard was the first person I could say I even felt comfortable around in years, and I still wouldn’t say that we were friends.
“Does it bother you?” He just wouldn’t drop it. “Why should it?” I answered coldly to get him to back off, but of course he didn’t catch my hint.
“Well it’s just that you’re sixteen; most people have gotten a little further than kissing at our age.”
“Have you?” I asked sarcastically with just the right amount of attitude. His cheeks flushed red at my question, I guess it made him uncomfortable. Woops.
“I mean, you’re sixteen, Gerard. It’s normal, right?” At this point I was really just trying to be an ass-hole, which I was really good at. I was also trying to drop the subject, but Gerard saw right through me.
With a devious smile playing across his lips, he replied, “That’s my business. The real problem here is the sad fact that you’re sixteen and still a lip virgin.”
“I wouldn’t say that. My lip is pierced; that’s got to count for something.” I tried to at least get off the topic of kissing with Gerard, so this was the best I could come up with, but Gerard still wasn’t going to give up on it. “No it doesn’t,” he protested.“A piercing is not the same as a kiss.”
“Well it doesn’t matter. I’m not getting kissed any time soon so you might as well drop it.” There was a slight awkward pause and I immediately regretted saying that. Gerard turned away, looking back at the movie yet still so obviously uninterested in it.
A few moments passed before he got up and turned off the television and came back to sit with me. “We’re gonna fix this now.” I looked at him with a fake-confused look even though I knew exactly what he meant.
“Let’s get your first kiss over with.” I started to protest but Gerard covered my mouth with his hand to silence me. "Leigh, you’re gonna have to do it sometime; why not with someone you trust?” I rolled my eyes at him considering I wasn’t able to verbalize my disagreement. He let go of his hold over my mouth and gave me another look. I sighed and said, “I don’t see why this is necessary.”
Gerard then quickly replied, “It’s not.” I barely had a second to say any more before Gerard had his lips on mine. I didn’t see it coming. Sure I knew there was the possibility that we could have gotten to it eventually but I didn’t expect to get to it so quickly. I felt my eyes close as Gerard’s lips stay pressed firmly to mine.
He was gentle, not pushing too hard but not so light that I couldn’t feel him. I was tempted to bring my hands up to hold his face but fought the urge seeing as this was a one-time thing. I didn’t want Gerard to know how much I was really enjoying this.
The kiss ended as quickly as it had been initiated. Gerard pulled away leaving me wanting more of what I was likely to never have again. “See, that wasn’t so bad.” He had no idea. Sure, the kiss itself was amazing but the fact that I’d never get to feel his lips on mine again sucked, and it almost made the kiss not worth it at all. Almost.
“Yeah, I guess. Could have been worse.” I tried to sound uninterested but I could barely contain the butterflies in my stomach. Gerard had just kissed me. In case you missed it, he kissed me. I loved the feeling but also kind of hated him for it. I would never have that feeling again and now I was stuck constantly wanting to feel his lips on mine again but knowing I never could.
“That’s…good.” There was a slight, inevitably awkward pause considering what had just happened. “Is it weird to say that your lip ring made it…I don’t know, more…interesting?” Excuse me? Did he…enjoy it or something?
I wished Gerard would stop leading me on so much, it was cruel. I didn’t want him to know I thought this because I would just end up looking stupid if he ever found out. After all, it’s not like he felt the same way.
I didn’t want to drag on the topic anymore, I just wanted to go home. I stood up and tugged at my skirt to straighten it out before looking back down at Gerard and replying, “Yes, it is. Well Gerard, it’s been real, but I think I should head home.”
I got up and turned to leave as Gerard stood up. “I’ll walk you.” He started to say before I turned back and said, “That’s alright. Goodnight, Gerard.” He didn’t fight me on this, he just let me go and quickly said, “Okay, goodnight,” as I left to go back home.
I LOVE the way you've executed this one. It's done perfectly and characterization is just...magic. If you publish anything THIS SHOULD BE IT.
4/7/14