I swear I'm eating!
Chapter 22?23?
It had been a whole week since I started at school again. Today I had gym for the first time since I'd been back and I wasn't looking forward to it. I hated having to change in front of everyone because I was still really fucking insecure about my body.
As as I was changing a jock came over to me. "Hey faggot you know you have take off your necklace." He said pulling on the chocker. I quickly slapped his away and told him to fuck off.
I walked out onto the gym floor and saw the same jock talking to our gym teacher mr. F. He was whispering something to him and then pointed at me. Mr. F walked over to me and told me that I had to take my chocker off because it was a safety hazard. "That's not fair! I don't even do anything in this class!" I fought back.
"That's enough mr.iero I'm going to walk into the locker room count to ten and when I come back out I want it off." He said sternly walking into the locker room. Everyone was staring at me and I felt nervous. I slowly reached a hand up and removed it. As soon as I took it off the whispering began, but of course whispering about me wasn't enough. The same jock who had pointed my chocker out yelled out "look the faggot tried to kill himself. What happened didnt your boyfriend want to fuck you? Oh wait you don't have one because your a suicidal faggot. Who would fuck you?" He said and everyone began laughing.
I ran out of the gym and down the hall trying to leave the school. As I was running down a stairwell I ran straight into someone "outta my way asshole!" I yelled and kept running but I was stopped by the person grabbing my arm. "I SAID OUTTA MY WAY- " I stopped yelling when I realized the person I had run into wasn't a student it was gee.
"Frank where are you going and why are you crying?" He asked seriously. He was obviously worried that I'd try and kill myself again. I didn't respond so he asked agin "frank answer me!"
"I was going home...." I said barely above a whisper.
"why?..."
"because people are fucking assholes and I hate them."
"what happened?" He said sitting on a stair and pulling me down to sit next to him.
"Gee it's fine just some kids in gym said some stuff that upset me it's nothing."
"I want you to tell me word for word what they said."
"gee they just said some-"
"frank tell me what they said." He responded giving me his teacher look.
"They said..... look the fag tried to kill himself...what happened didnt your boyfriend want to fuck you, oh wait you don't have one cause your a suicidal faggot who would fuck you?" I said not looking at gee.
"Frank you know that's not true right."
"It is true though I'm a sucidal faggot who tried to kill himself." I said matter of factly.
"frank your not a faggot-"
"yes I am. I like dick. Even I wasn't a fag I'm still suicidal."
i could tell me saying that freaked gee out.
"frank....you still....." He mumbled not sure what to say.
"Yes gee I still want to die."
He immeditely reached over and grabbed my face so I was looking at him.
"Franklin Anthony Iero you are the fucking best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't care what anyone says because I love you. I can't change your thoughts about death but I'm sure as hell gonna try. If you leave me I'd kill myself just so I could be with you. I'm not joking about any of this. Frank I can't imagine how bad certain parts of your life had to have been to make you think that dying was the best option you had. I can't imagin-"
"stop. Gee just stop. I just no...I'm sorry I love you too but I don't need to feel guilty about what I did. , or attempted to do. If I ever leave and you even think about hurting yourself I'd...I just I'd want to die all over again. Don't even say that."
he just looked at me with sad eyes. "Can I go now?" I asked hoping he'd let me leave. "No way. Not by yourself. Listen how about I cancel my classes and we ditch?"
I really didnt want want anyone else with me because I was planning on going and getting wasted, which was something new I'd learned made me feel better, and I knew gee would be pissed if he found out I was going to bars and getting wasted.
I nodded though because if I said no he'd worry.
"Alright then let's go." He said grabbing my hand and walking me out of the building making sure no one saw.
Once we were in his car he finally spoke again. "Where do you wanna go?" He asked happily seeming to forget everything that just happened.
"I don't really care how about we go to the crow?" I asked.
"The crow? What's that?"
"it's a club where the play live music and have food it's awesome." I said happily. The crow was an awesome place but I also knew the people that worked the bar pretty well and knew they would sneak me some drinks.
"Sure it sounds fun just tell me how to get there." Gee replied smiling at me.
As as I was changing a jock came over to me. "Hey faggot you know you have take off your necklace." He said pulling on the chocker. I quickly slapped his away and told him to fuck off.
I walked out onto the gym floor and saw the same jock talking to our gym teacher mr. F. He was whispering something to him and then pointed at me. Mr. F walked over to me and told me that I had to take my chocker off because it was a safety hazard. "That's not fair! I don't even do anything in this class!" I fought back.
"That's enough mr.iero I'm going to walk into the locker room count to ten and when I come back out I want it off." He said sternly walking into the locker room. Everyone was staring at me and I felt nervous. I slowly reached a hand up and removed it. As soon as I took it off the whispering began, but of course whispering about me wasn't enough. The same jock who had pointed my chocker out yelled out "look the faggot tried to kill himself. What happened didnt your boyfriend want to fuck you? Oh wait you don't have one because your a suicidal faggot. Who would fuck you?" He said and everyone began laughing.
I ran out of the gym and down the hall trying to leave the school. As I was running down a stairwell I ran straight into someone "outta my way asshole!" I yelled and kept running but I was stopped by the person grabbing my arm. "I SAID OUTTA MY WAY- " I stopped yelling when I realized the person I had run into wasn't a student it was gee.
"Frank where are you going and why are you crying?" He asked seriously. He was obviously worried that I'd try and kill myself again. I didn't respond so he asked agin "frank answer me!"
"I was going home...." I said barely above a whisper.
"why?..."
"because people are fucking assholes and I hate them."
"what happened?" He said sitting on a stair and pulling me down to sit next to him.
"Gee it's fine just some kids in gym said some stuff that upset me it's nothing."
"I want you to tell me word for word what they said."
"gee they just said some-"
"frank tell me what they said." He responded giving me his teacher look.
"They said..... look the fag tried to kill himself...what happened didnt your boyfriend want to fuck you, oh wait you don't have one cause your a suicidal faggot who would fuck you?" I said not looking at gee.
"Frank you know that's not true right."
"It is true though I'm a sucidal faggot who tried to kill himself." I said matter of factly.
"frank your not a faggot-"
"yes I am. I like dick. Even I wasn't a fag I'm still suicidal."
i could tell me saying that freaked gee out.
"frank....you still....." He mumbled not sure what to say.
"Yes gee I still want to die."
He immeditely reached over and grabbed my face so I was looking at him.
"Franklin Anthony Iero you are the fucking best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't care what anyone says because I love you. I can't change your thoughts about death but I'm sure as hell gonna try. If you leave me I'd kill myself just so I could be with you. I'm not joking about any of this. Frank I can't imagine how bad certain parts of your life had to have been to make you think that dying was the best option you had. I can't imagin-"
"stop. Gee just stop. I just no...I'm sorry I love you too but I don't need to feel guilty about what I did. , or attempted to do. If I ever leave and you even think about hurting yourself I'd...I just I'd want to die all over again. Don't even say that."
he just looked at me with sad eyes. "Can I go now?" I asked hoping he'd let me leave. "No way. Not by yourself. Listen how about I cancel my classes and we ditch?"
I really didnt want want anyone else with me because I was planning on going and getting wasted, which was something new I'd learned made me feel better, and I knew gee would be pissed if he found out I was going to bars and getting wasted.
I nodded though because if I said no he'd worry.
"Alright then let's go." He said grabbing my hand and walking me out of the building making sure no one saw.
Once we were in his car he finally spoke again. "Where do you wanna go?" He asked happily seeming to forget everything that just happened.
"I don't really care how about we go to the crow?" I asked.
"The crow? What's that?"
"it's a club where the play live music and have food it's awesome." I said happily. The crow was an awesome place but I also knew the people that worked the bar pretty well and knew they would sneak me some drinks.
"Sure it sounds fun just tell me how to get there." Gee replied smiling at me.
this was great, I really enjoyed it. <3
10/5/16