At first it was just pure silence. I was starring at tr ground but I knew gee and mikey were staring at me I could feel it. Tyler stood up along with jack but spoke before walking out of the room. "Mikey I think you should come with is for a minute. Frank this is your boyfriend and I am not telling him the details of your attempted suicide. I've already had to repeat it a lot and I will not repeat it for him. If you love him you talk. Please. We can't think of anyway other way to get you to talk so at least talk to him.....p-please." He said as he began crying again.

I felt like like shot the way he was talking to me. I looked up with my eyes watery and I saw mikey stand still in shock and walk down to the basement with the twins to give me and gee privacy. I looked at gee and that's when my heart broke. The tears began flowing down my face as I looked at his face. He looked scared, hurt, and lost. He was staring straight at me....at my neck.

I couldnt speak this time because I felt horrible. How do I even start the conversation. Apparently I didn't have to because because gee spoke. "Was that why you weren't answering me...."

I wiped led my eyes and nodded. He stood up and walked over to the couch I was on. He sat down and wrapped his arms around me pulling me into his chest. I let my walls come down and I began crying loudly into his shirt.

Gee was rubbing my back trying to calm me. After I had stopped crying as hard and could breathe evey gee spoke again. "Will you please talk to me.....frank I love you and you know that...just please...talk."

I took oil a deep breath before the saying the first thing I've said in weeks. "Ok." It was a weak attempt at talking but it was a word. Gee smiled at me when he heard my voice and kissed my forehead.
"Want to tell me what happened?......" He asked sounding unsure of wether or not I would continue speaking.

"i tried to hang myself...." I said barley above a whisper. I could feel gee stiffen. He moved back a little so we were sitting next to each other and he was looking at me.

I decided to not make him speak so I kept going. "After the party I ran home.....I went into my garage and locked the door. I made a noose and climbed on top of a workbench and stepped off. The twins knew something was wrong and were able to break the door down. They got the noose off me, and called 911....the way I tied the noose only chocked me...it didn't snap my neck like I planned, or else I wouldn't be here. I was in the hospital for two weeks and refused to speak at all until now. They only released me as long as I promised to follow the new rules.....I have to stay above 100 pounds, take all my meds twice a day, and attend normal school, because they feel like having people around me would do me good, and they didn't want me at home alone all day...."

i looked up up from my lap and gee was just staring at me. I was about to speak again until he did. "You don't sound happy."

"What?" I said in a whisper confused as to what he was getting at.

"You don't sound happy that your still alive....why?....do you still think that dying would've been better than being here right now?" He said and I could tell he was about to cry.

"Gee-"

"Answer the question. Are you happy that your still alive?" E said trying to stay calm

"no..."

He began crying as I spoke.

"frank you can't be serious....are you...do you really feel that way."

"Gee I'm sorry if it's not the answer the you wanted, but being alive hurts. Everyone thinks that I was just overreacting and that hanging myself was an impulse decision. It wasn't... I remember when I wouldn't eat and you'd tell me that I was starving myself to death and id reply that at least id be happy......I wasn't joking. I want to die I still do...I just can't take it anymore. no one cares what I want and honestly no one cares how I'm doing as long as I'm alive. The doctors just ask me if I'm still above 100 pounds and I say yes even though I'm not. I tell them I take all there fucked up medications that I don't need and they believe me. Why can't they believe me when I tell them I want to die. "

gee looked completely heart broken, but I was being honest. if I couldn't be honest the man I fucking love then who could I be honest with?

"Frank your eighteen!" He finally said
"so?"
"you have the whole rest of your life and your perfectly fine with throwing it away!?"
"if you haven't noticed the first eighteen years of my life have been complete shit! What's going to happen that'll make the next eighteen any better!" I yelled back.

"Frank..."

"No gee just stop. I've heard enough of people telling me that it gets better and that my life will eventually turn around. It's all fucking lies. Just take a look at my situation with mason! He's been fucking raping me since I was 14! Tell me when that's gonna change! And if it's not mason it's fucking random people at a party who don't even know me! Mason raped me in front of my own boyfriend! It's. All. Fucking. Lies. It. Doesn't. Get. Better."

He looked at me for a minute before kissing me hard on the lips then pulling back. "I don't know about you but my life's become a lot better with you in it. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same way and I can't change what mason did. Frank if you can look me in the eyes and tell me that I wasn't something that made your life better and made you want to live then I will leave right now."

i began to cry and wrapped my arms around him. "If you leave me then I will die. Gee I'm sorry I didn't mean that you weren't something good that came into my life you were a fucking miracle. Please don't leave me."

"I won't ever leave you and we'll always be together as long as you don't leave this earth."