Related or not

They all had worried looked on there faces. I didn't really feel like asking Gerard about what happened anymore. I wiped my eyes still somewhat crying.

"Casey why are you crying?" Frank asked while glaring at Gerard who looked pissed and mikey was looking at them with worry apparent on his face.

I wiped my eyes again and sniffed so I could speak Since my nose started running from crying. "Kids at school. Listen I'm going to my room-"

"no your not." Frank said still glaring at geard instead of looking at me while he was talking to me.

"but-"

"why did the kids at school make you cry?" Frank asked through clenched teeth.

"They called me.....a loser and emo faggot the whole way down the halls until I was off school property."

frank didnt speak but his pissed mood seemed to double."gerard want to explain why people were calling her that?"

"Not with you here." He spat back.

"Guys please don't make a repeat of lunch of in front of ca-"
"ITS HER FAULT ANYWAY!" Gerard snapped. "She made my so called best friend call me an asshole! She deserved it!"

I had no idea what was going on. Frank called Gerard an asshole because of me?

"Gerard it's not her-"

"YES IT FUCKING IS! SHE WANTS ATTENTION SHE GOT ATTENTION." He yelled standing up to walk away but walked over to me first. He shoved me in the chest sending me back a few steps "you can suck my dick." He spat out filled with venom as he went upstairs and slammed the door.

I didn't even know what I did but I felt like shit. he said it was my fault so it probably was since I fuck everything up but what exactly did I do?

"Casey listen he's just-"

"don't." I said giving a weak smile to frank. I was sick and tired of fucking my life up. My own family hates me. My brothers best friend is now his enemy. I can't go back to boarding school. The only thing I can do is die.


****************


i hid out in the basement until everyone went to sleep and ignored everyone the whole day. I mean everyone. I kept the door locked and myself put away until I was positive that everyone in my house was asleep.

I silently crept rest up the stairs to mine and gees room. I silently snuck into our bathroom without waking him and grabbed everything I needed. All the pills I could carry and my emergency blade. Not some crappy shaving razor blade an actual blade.

I snick back out and went back to the basement. I didn't want to write a note. I didn't want to name names I just wanted to live. I quickly swallowed as many pills as I could then as soon as I began to feel hazy I grabbed the blade and continuously sliced up my arm until everything faded into black.

Notes

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