Someone Out There Loves You After All (Gerard Way)
Chapter 29: It's Almost Over
"You are seriously hopeless at this." I laughed for what felt like the hundredth time that morning, while I had nailed it immediately and was able to move around without any effort, Gerard was still working on the coordination that was necessary to walk with a crutches.
I know it probably wasn't the nicest thing I could have done, laughing at my boyfriend when he nearly fell over but it's worth a mention that he was laughing as well which didn't help him to stand properly so by the time we were standing outside the hospital it'd gone from ten when we were supposed to be discharged to eleven.
Since neither of us could drive (and I didn't even have a license anyway) we had to deal with the unique awkwardness that came with having my Mum drive us back go the apartment.
When being checked out the nurse asked a few questions about how we lived and when I said Gerard and I shared a place she suggested that since we'd have a bit of trouble moving around and doing things we should get a friend to stay over and help.
It didn't take Gerard and I long to figure out that it'd be pretty weird having any of the guys over, I couldn't imagine any of them wanting to sleep on the couch or help us make dinner even Mikey probably wouldn't want to have anything to do with it. So instead, I suggested to Gerard that Mum help out because even if I didn't bring it up I knew she was going to offer and keep offering until she got her way.
Now my boyfriend and I had just gotten into my Mum's rental car and we were headed back to the apartment with Mum blaring music at top volume with Gerard and I sitting in the back of the car and leaning against each other, feeling grateful to be out of hospital and going home. I had my head against Gerard's shoulder and couldn't stop smiling, feeling happy to be with him, with his hood hand firmly gripping mine.
"What do you plan to do when we get home?" Gerard asked and I lifted my head to look at him, I couldn't think of wanting to do anything but sitting on the couch and watching tv, maybe eating something but that's it, I just want to enjoy the comfort of being in a place I'm familiar with.
"Relax on the couch." I told him, putting my head back on his shoulder and wincing slightly when I felt a tugging on my stitches, I keep forgetting that they're there, I've had so many pain pills that it slips my mind entirely.
"Good, I don't want you to strain yourself. I have to mention though that an interviewer from a music magazine will be making a stop by the apartment later on. He just wants to ask me some questions, he won't be there for long and he knows that we've just gotten out of hospital plus we're old friends." Gerard kept talking and I held a hand up, telling him to stop talking.
"Gee, you don't need to come up with any reasons, it's fine." I smiled, I'd come to terms a while ago that Gerard would be busy a lot, interviews, concerts, travelling, hanging out with the guys when I least wanted him to and not always being able to be with just him.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive." I kissed Gerard and the cheek and tightened my grip on his hand before closing my eyes, I still felt tired and kinda wanted to go to sleep, the nurse said it was because my bodies healing and sleep helps so I was prepared to spend most of my time in bed or asleep on the couch.
"You should go to sleep, we've still got a ways to go." He said, circling the back of my hand with his them as I felt myself get even tireder and finally drift off.
"Come on, wake up," I felt someone nudge my side and groaned, I wasn't ready to wake up yet, "I can't carry you inside sugar." A hand stroked my hair and I sighed before opening my eyes to Gerard who was trying to wake me up.
"Are we there yet? I asked him, sitting forward and wiping away a bit of drool from the corner of my mouth.
"Yep, we got here a couple of minutes ago, I've been trying to get you awake." He laughed, knowing I slept heavily then shifted to the side of the car, opening the car door and taking his crutches with him.
I waited for a couple of minutes so Gerard could get himself standing straight then started climbing out as well, grabbing my crutches and putting them under my arms the second I got out of the car. A few people walking down the street looked at Gerard and I briefly then kept walking when we ignored them and went into the building, Mum following with a duffle bag full of her things. We got into the elevator, a slightly panicked look crossing Mum's face since she didn't like enclosed spaces but the trip was short and before long we were back in the apartment with me dropping on the couch, exactly as I planned.
One thing I'd noticed was that the place was much cleaner than it was the last time I saw it. I remember exactly what the living room looked like before Gerard and I left for the concert (what feels like) that long time ago.
Charcoal, pencils and ink pens were on the coffee table along with empty mugs and crumpled up drawings since when Gee couldn't sleep he'd stay up and draw and when he had the time he'd help me improve on my drawing, I could paint but that was basically it. Of course there were more things than what was just on the coffee table, clothes had been strewn all over the place, piles of cd's were on the couch from the time we'd tried to sort out Gerard's massive music collection.
More or less the apartment looked like a war zone.
"Hey Mum, did you clean up here?" One of the first things that had happened when Gerard and I found out Mum was staying in America was arrange for her to be able to collect a spare key from the front desk in the lobby so she'd probably done that, came to the flat and tidied things.
"Yeah, you two are a messy pair." I laughed, I wasn't really that bad, I tried to keep the mess to a minimum.
"She is isn't she?" Gerard joked, dropping on the couch next to me and I elbowed him in the arm which just made him laugh louder, I've missed his laugh no matter how stupid and incredibly dorky it may sound.
"Excuse me Mister Way but last time I checked you're the artsy one who likes to have everything everywhere and I distinctly remember and entire month of you not cleaning up sheets and sheets of music." It was true, he got into writing songs for about a week and spent the whole time filling up the apartment with pieces of paper that barely had more than a sentence hastily scribbled down, I don't think he's even gotten around to filling a full page yet.
"I know but I came up with some really good lines because of that," Gerard protested and Mum smiled before walking into the kitchen, "and don't call me Mister Way, it turns me on too much." He added with a whisper, putting his hand on my thigh and squeezed which caused me to giggle and grin.
"What, are we gonna have awkward, injured sex?" As much as I wanted to jump on him I couldn't imagine anything working, him with his breaks and fractures and me with my ribs and cuts, things would be pretty damn complicated if either of us wanted to try something.
"I'm game if you are." His voice was serious enough for me to know he wasn't kidding and I laughed again, wishing for the millionth time today that I didn't have a cast and all these stitches to worry about.
"Not if my Mum's here." I replied, pointing at the kitchen where Mum was looking through the fridge, hmming and muttering to herself, probably judging everything Gerard and I bought when out shopping.
I'll admit it than when we're together we don't exactly buy the healthiest things, our shopping is more or less based of what looks good which isn't something Mum would ever agree with, she loves her health food.
"So, we'll send her out to the movies or the mall." I doubted Mum would be gullible enough for that, she'd immediately know what we're up to but then again I was a big girl and if I wanted alone time with my boyfriend then my Mother should be able to understand.
"There's nothing in the fridge, I'm going out to get some things. Do either of you want something?" Her timing was almost perfect considering what Gerard and I were talking about but I knew that she didn't hear us, we were talking too quietly.
"Nope I'm good." I told her, I couldn't think of anything off the top of my head.
"I'm fine thank you, Margo." She nodded and headed to the front door, grabbing her bag that she'd automatically hung up from a hook.
"I'll see you two soon, don't get kidnapped by any mafia while I'm gone." Mum laughed and in the next moment she was gone, leaving Gerard and I with nothing to worry about since there was no mother figure to watch over us like we were teenagers sitting awkwardly on a parents couch, okay maybe I was a teenager but I didn't like to think of myself as one.
"So what do we do now?" Gee asked, his hand inching up my thigh which resulted with my face going red and my heartbeat climbing rapidly.
Before I could say or do anything a loud buzzing came from the intercom by the front door, letting us know that someone wanted in the building. Since Mum knew the number to get in I naturally assumed it was the interviewer who was supposed to be coming over 'later'.
"Or we could do nothing at all." After letting out a frustrated sigh Gerard sat back and only using the help of one of the crutches I stood up and went to the door, pressing the button and answering the person on the other end of the line.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hi, this is Patrick Millers. I was supposed to come by at twelve to talk to Gerard. Do you think you could buzz me up?" I pushed the other button on the intercom and a loud buzzing sound went through, I think I did the right thing, Gerard's told me before that, that's the right one for letting people in.
I could have gone to sit down again but since Patrick would be up in a couple of minutes I found it easier to lean against the wall and wait for the inevitable knock on the door.
It was probably the best thing that Gerard and I weren't given that time alone we probably would have hurt ourselves and if we are to attempt anything while injured we should at least wait a week so we can start healing. I guess it doesn't help that when we were leaving the concert hall (the last place where we could consider the possibility of having sex) we were planning on going home and spending the rest of the night and a good portion of the next morning in bed and we're still carrying that tension.
There was a knock and before Patrick could start a second round I had the door open and was smiling at the well dressed, forty-something man with a large briefcase. I held the door further open and let him in, stepping to the side then closing the door.
"I'll take it you're the girl who's managed to get a hold of Gerard's heart." Patrick commented and I smiled then nodded, to be honest I sometimes forgot that other people knew I was dating Gerard, it just seemed like a thing only we knew about.
Gerard and I had been together publicly for four months since he'd done some interviews and when asked about his relationship status he'd more than gladly answered with 'taken' which never failed to make me smile when I heard him refer to me as his girl or babe, it wasn't hard for him to put a smile on my face. Of course what came along with Gerard mentioning his girlfriend came the paparazzi and magazines that wanted to see what she looked like so it didn't take long for everyone to know my face.
One of the strangest moments of my life would have to have been when I was working one day in the old coffee shop. I was working the counter, taking orders and making coffees when out of the blue I heard a voice saying 'oh my God, you're Gerard Way's girlfriend'. Despite knowing for a fact that I was Gerard's girlfriend I actually thought for a second that the person was talking to someone else.
It didn't take long for the girl who was maybe one or two years younger than me to start asking questions. What Gerard was like, did he buy me things, was he a good kisser, if I could give her his phone number. It didn't take long for Hayden (who was doing all the waiting) to realise that I was uncomfortable and he came to my rescue, telling the girl that she had to either order something and sit down or order something and leave.
After that she didn't say anything else and mainly kept quiet. I didn't want to say anything to her when she was asking anyway, I was feeling nice that day and I didn't want to give her the impression I was nasty or mean. I'm usually a really polite person and I don't want the simple problem of being a little bit stressed to give a false idea of how I was.
I don't want to be one of those musicians girlfriends that you hear everyone gossip about, saying they're bitches or rude.
Finally coming out of my small bout of disappearing into my own head, I returned to the real world and crutched my way back to the couch to sit down next to Gerard once more.
Patrick was sitting at the other end of the couch with his briefcase on his lap, he took a recorder out, turned it on, put it on the coffee table then turned to face Gerard who'd put his arm around me and was smiling, glad to see a friend.
"Gerard, how are you, man? You look pretty roughed up." The interview seemed to have started and since I didn't want to interrupt either of them I remained quiet at put my head on Gerard's shoulder.
"I'm feeling a lot better than I was when I got all these things and yeah, I am roughed up. A couple of broken parts, a lot of scrapes and cuts. I'm not feeling like I wanna go running onto the stage at the moment." Patrick laughed, he seemed comfortable around Gee and gave me the impression that he's known him for a while so he'd obviously know how much Gerard loves to perform and be front and centre for the fans.
"Yeah, I got that idea. Talking about going onstage, you and My Chemical Romance performed as The Black Parade for the first time a couple of weeks ago. How did that feel, introducing a new album to your fanbase, do you think they received it well?" Haha, I just realised that I'm not going to have to buy the magazine to read this interview, that's strange.
"Uh, like the sound for this album was pretty different than the last. Revenge was dark, it was written when I was going through a dark phase, like Bullets but I've kinda moved on from the dark part of my life. That's what The Black Parade is about, moving on and finding courage in yourself to live through any bad things, knowing it's okay to be happy. It's lessons I've learnt from my own life and I want fans to feel and know the same. From what I saw they liked it but even if they don't understand it at first I think they'll grow to love it. Nothing can stay the same and I think the change My Chem's made is a good one." It was interesting hearing Gerard talk like this, especially considering that it wasn't that long ago when he was making jokes about me referring to him as Mister Way.
"Well I've heard songs from the concert on YouTube and I have to say that the songs sound great. What was the one with all the fire at the end?"
"Famous Last Words, it's one of my favourites from the album." I had a habit of getting giggly inside whenever I heard him talk about Famous Last Words, I'd instantly start thinking of how he looked at me when the song was being recorded in the studio.
"From what I've heard it's one of mine too. The words, the lyrics, they're very interesting. How did you come up with them, what was your inspiration behind them?" I hope Patrick was prepared to be here for a while, I know for a fact that he can literally talk about the meaning behind songs for over an hour.
"Geez, uh, a lot of stuff. The things with FLW is that when I wrote it I was in various stages of my life. I started to write the song in two thousand and three. I was on drugs and things were really bad, the part where I'm saying 'I'm incomplete' I'm talking about all the pills and drugs I used to be on. There was like this hole inside me that I kept trying to fill and at first it didn't matter how hard I tried I could never shake them. Then I picked the song back up this year and nearly finished it but there was the tragedy with my parents and I disappeared for nearly two months. I only finished it recently because of a kick in the pants I got from my girl. But like my whole point is, I've put a lot of my life into this song but I want the fans to take their own meaning from it as well." I wasn't expecting Gerard to finish talking about the song so fast, I've asked him to explain everything behind it before and we ended up talking for at least an hour.
"Would you say your parents death has had any effect on the album? Has it made it darker or put a different spin on some songs?" Personally if someone were to ask me a question about Dad like that I'd probably claw their face off so it was unexpected when he remained relaxed.
"No I wouldn't say that. Other than Famous Last Words I've tried to keep their passing far away from anything to do with the album and most of the songs were already written and finished when that happened but I can say the only real effect it's had is that it's just reinforced the message of moving on from any bad things and knowing that it's okay to live." Gerard gave Patrick a short, confirming nod and tightened his arm around me as I snuggled my face further into the crook of his neck.
"I'm sure they will hear it and sincerest condolences on behalf of LoudBox magazine."
"Thank you." I knew the topic of his parents was still a touchy subject with Gerard and I'd expect nothing less, I still have trouble talking about my Dad and I don't think I'll ever change how I feel about it but I might be able to cope properly one day.
"I have just one more question that I think all the fans would want an answer to. How serious are you and your girlfriend, any developments on the relationship front?" Here's another thing I didn't think would happen, I didn't know anyone would be interesting in the relationship Gerard and I have.
"We are very serious, we've been going out for around four months and she knows a lot about me that I never thought anyone would know. As for developments, I think we're good where we are now but five weeks, fifteen months, who knows where we'll be." Gerard laughed again, this one sounding slightly different from the last, a little more high pitched and I raised an eyebrow, he sounded a little shy to be honest.
"Okay, I think we're done here. Thank you very much, I've enjoyed talking to you." Patrick sat up straighter and inched closer to the edge of the couch, ready to pack everything up.
"You too, thank you." Patrick shut the recorder off and put it back in his briefcase, signalling that the interview was obviously over which physically relaxed Gerard more because of the feeling of his shoulders sagging.
Once they'd finished talking it seemed Gerard and Patrick didn't have anything else to say to each other and within a couple of minutes Patrick was gone, closing the front door behind him and leaving Gerard and me sitting on the couch, cuddling.
"So that's how an interview works huh?" I asked, that seemed to go a lot smoother than what I typically imagined, I don't know why but I've always thought musicians liked to throw hissyfits and all that stuff.
"Yeah but not always sometimes it's going into places, talking over the phone or using Skype. I prefer it when people come over to my place, it's easier and a lot more comfortable." That sounded reasonable, if I were to be in a band or some kind of celebrity that'd be interviewed I think I'd rather talk at my own house, it'd be a bit like a home territory game like they have in sports.
"Well I don't know about you but I'm feeling really comfortable right now." I smiled, not wanting to move from my spot under Gerard's arm, it made me think of the last night he came home from the studio we fell asleep on the couch together.
"Mmm, you know what sounds damn good?" Gerard moved further up the sofa until we were almost sitting at the end.
"A nap." I giggled when Gerard pulled to the side so we were lying down on the couch together, him with his arm still around me.
"If you insist, Gee." I rolled around so I was facing his chest then made myself comfortable, clinging onto his shirt and cuddling him just like I would when we were unwounded and winding down after a long night of...activities.
"By the way." I added, deciding to get a couple of words in before he fell asleep and would be dead to the world for at least a couple of hours.
"Mmm?" He sounded sleepy and I knew for a fact that I was now catching him on his way out, Gerard could sleep almost as heavily as I could, I have no idea how he wakes up when he hears me crying after my nightmares.
"You better get well soon because I still have that promise of what we were supposed to do after the concert to fulfil." Gerard chuckled, a low sound that was like heaven to my ears.
Haha, he thinks I'm joking.