The heartache just got worse.

Every breath I take feels like my last.

The emotional pain is so bad. I feel like I'm dying when in reality I'm physically fine.

I ran back down to my bedroom and fell to my knees in front of the wall I had covered in paintings. I looked up and right in the middle was a portrait of Frank. It was of the time I saw him before lunch, when he slapped me.

Seeing his beautiful angel like face makes me feel even worse.

Why can't I be like other vampires?! Why can't I be happy with my mate?!

Why can't I spend my eternity with Frankie?!

I didn't use to care about a mate. I just wanted a one-night thing. And now I would give anything to be able to spend at least a minute with Frankie.

I curled up into a ball of hopelessness, heartbreak (both mine and the mystery feelings) and rejection, and I stayed like that until Mikey came back home. The mystery feelings weren't as strong now, but they were still there.

"Gee? Where are you?" he asked as he entered the house then he came down stairs to my room.

"Oh god, Gee, what's wrong?"

"Absolutely everything is wrong”

"What happened? You called and-" I cut him off

"I'm feeling someone else feelings." his eyes went wide

"Uhm, what?"

"I read somewhere that when your mate is feeling something strong enough, that you can feel it, too." Mikeys eyes went wider. He didn't say anything so I continued, "Why was my Frankie so sad?" I asked him.

He didn't answer. He just stood there and looked guilty and torn apart.

Torn apart between telling be why my mate was sad and keeping a secret.
"Mikey Way, tell me...He's my mate you know? I deserve to know!"

Suddenly he looked angry. Angry and confused. "Why do you want Frank?"

What?! "WHAT?!"

"You've never cared for a mate! You've never wanted anything more that to sleep with the prettiest fertile you can find! And then all of a sudden you want a real relationship with someone?! How should I- how should Frank believe you?!"

What can I say to that? "I- What? Is that what you think of me? Do you think all I care about is sex?"

"Yes, Gerard. Think about this rationally. You bring a new fertile home every time you go out, everyone thinks of you as the one-night-dream-Dom, and then there's Frank. Frank who has never gone out with anyone, he's as pure as it gets, he's the kid no one pays attention to and all of a sudden you decide he's your mate?! Are you fucking kidding me?! What is this all about?! Is this some dare?! Is that it? Did someone dare you to get him in bed?! Because if that's it then you are the cruelest most despicable creature to have ever walked this earth!" he looks at me as if I were some cruel baby biter.

"Mikey Way, do you really think I would put Frank through this just for a dare? Do you think I would be so cruel?"

"I do! Remember that girl from our old school?! The one that transferred mid year because of you?! The one that slept with you because she thought you were her mate?! You humiliated her in front of everyone! You told her she was a slut and that you wouldn't lift a finger for her! She moved to another fucking state because of you and your stupid fucking ego! Because she was the one fertile in the whole fucking school you hadn't slept with! Was your reputation worth her virginity, innocence and pride?!…Was keeping your image worth destroying so many people?"

I didn't even think about that girl twice. I didn't care back then and as horrible as it sounds, I still don't care.

I'm a horrible Vampire, that much I do know. I know I don't deserve Frank. I know I've destroyed, rejected and humiliated lots of people, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Mikey was right. Why would Frank believe me?

"Mikey Way, I swear I'm not lying! How could I make it up! Look at me! I'm a fucking mess and you don't believe me!"

"…I'm sorry Gee, but you shouldn't give up If you actually do love Frank then you should fight for it."

---------Time Lapse---------

It was around midnight now. Mikey had gone to bed already and I was left alone in my room.

"What if Frank doesn't want to give me a second chance? He's not the type that would take anyone’s shit. And I fucked up bad...What if he actually meant the 'I hate you’… Then I'd be left alone. I don't want to be without Frankie… I don't want to live without him"

----------Time Lapse----------

I was getting ready for school now. I had to see Frank today and talk to him.

I dressed quickly, pulling on some black skinny jeans and my black combat boots, then my black trending coat.

I have to apologize and let him know how much I love him.

In the kitchen, Mikey was drinking a tall glass of blood and eating a sandwich.

"How are you feeling, Gee?" he asked

"Horrible, Mikey Way, Fuck you very much"

"I'm trying to help you...Are you going to talk to Frank today?"

"I'm going to try...what if he doesn't want to see me?"

He had a pained expression on his face. What was he hiding from me? "Just talk to him...don't give up." I nodded and we walked to the garage.

"Are you actually letting me sit in your car?" he asked

"Yeah, hurry up before I change my mind."

We drove to the school and things between Mikey and I seemed to have gone back to normal.

When we got to school I saw a red Ferrari pull up to into the school parking lot. Once it was parked Frankie got out of it. He looked gorgeous as always. He was wearing a black and red stripped V-neck and tight black jeans with matching black-and-red converse. He had eyeliner on and had a small chain around his neck.

"I'm going to go now." Mikey said I was frozen in front of the steering wheel. Frank looked so perfect.

Frankie was standing by his car waiting for Mikey. I could see a couple Doms stop and stare at him; it pissed me off to no end.

Frankie smiled at Mikey when he got to his car. Mikey looked weary but he smiled at him too, then he pointed to the car and then at Frank, as if questioning his sudden need to look like a super model.

Frankie just shrugged and they walked into the school, Frankie not even noticing the Doms that where eye-fucking him.

I stepped out of the car and the Fertiles immediately started to swarm in on me.

Asking me out. Asking for sex. Complimenting the way I looked.

I didn't care about them or their offers. I just cared for my Frankie.

I ignore them and walk inside of the school. I make my way to Frankie's locker. Mikey was there too. They were talking about something,

"-loves you."

"No, Mikey. He doesn't. Now cut the crap 'cause we're going to be late."

I walk over to them, Mikey sees me first, "Uhm, Frank. I'll see you in class." he says and then he scurries away from us.

"What the fu-" Frank begins but cuts himself off as he turns round and sees me.

Notes

Its a bird! Its a plane! Its chapter 14!!!

fuck yeah motherfuckers!!

So, yeah, comment and rate and subscribe and all that nice lovey-dovey shizz!


chapter fifteen might be up tonight, too....i still haven't decided

title from The Misfits 'Helena'