[b]Chapter 6 – Mikey's POV[/b]

There weren’t many things I was sure of in this moment... except the pain. My whole body seemed to rage against itself. There was the warm fire that was my usual body temp... and there was the stabbing iciness of something else.... Except now the fire grew to a blazing inferno and the iciness slashed in quick succession. They ran separate courses, burning and freezing painfully as they went. But these war paths almost always collided, and the collision was like a miniature atomic bomb going off in my veins. They fought an epic battle before the ice took over, continuing to slash its way through me. The ice always won. The fire was drenched and consumed hungrily by its opposite.
I couldn’t hold back the screaming then. I moved in a fruitless attempt to shake off the pain but it did nothing. Through all this I managed to pick up a small sound outside of my bubble of pain. My brother was shouting. The sound drilled my bones and rebounded off the exploding atomic bombs and I screamed louder.
Louder.
Louder.
I felt a feather light touch on my four limbs. Was that even there? Maybe I was hallucinating through the pain. But this feather light touch felt real enough. Each pressure point of feeling burst like pins penetrating my skin.
I thrashed about more, hoping to escape it, then-
I screamed so loud it felt like my throat was being ripped out.
A horrible, stabbing, jarring pain, different to the fire and ice battle, shot through my torso... It was accompanied by a crunching sound.
I didn’t know how it was possible for more pain to come to me, but it did. The bombs centred in on my ribs and the agony was so much I lost the ability to move for god knows how long. It felt like forever. I continued to scream but soon the blackness overwhelmed me and I felt silent.
It was like I’d fallen asleep... but I was still conscious enough to detect it. I was cut off from everything in this blackness... I didn’t feel the pain (thank god) but I couldn’t feel, hear or see anything in this either. I felt trapped...
My mind drifted off to thinking about what was happening. I could no longer deny that what my brother had told me was real... but it felt so insane. Something like this was real and-
I stopped mid-thought as a bright light began to shine larger and larger until I was enveloped in it.
Then it dropped away.
I was lying on a towel on a pier. It was the long wooden one at the beach close to where we lived. I could almost feel the sweltering heat of the sun beating down on my exposed arms as I perched myself up on my elbows. I was wearing swim shorts and a short sleeved tee. Josh, Pete and Ashley (in nothing but short swim shorts and a tank top!) were sprinting towards the edge at top speed. Emma was lying on a towel next to me.
I had a strange sense of déjà vu... Then it hit me!
This was a memory. I’d already experienced this before but I was a trapped spectator, reduced to feeling and seeing everything like I had the first time.
Josh and Pete dive bombed in but Ashley slowed before she reached the edge as if she remembered something. She reached down and pulled the tank top over her head. She was now in nothing but short swim shorts and a bikini top. My eyes grazed down her body, I couldn’t help it. My mouth grew dry as my eyes found the words inked onto her ribs.
[i]‘I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone’[/i]
I remembered when I went with her to get it done... I’d seen it then but I’d seen it too few times since for my liking.
Suddenly Ashley dive bombed off the pier and, much to my distaste, was lost from sight. I sighed and sat up further, turning to Emma.
“Are you going in the water?”
“Maybe,” She replied.
“YES, YOU FUCKING ARE,” came Ashley’s shout from the water below.
“Nah, I don’t think we are, hey Mikey?”
I grinned and lied back on my towel.
“Nah – ARRGGH!”
Emma and I screamed in unison.
I jumped up from my towel, which was now drenched in sea water.... and fish?
I turned to glare at Ashley; she stood by the foot of our towels and grinned.
“Get your butt’s in the water now.”
“This shirt was meant to stay dry, Ash!”
“Ah well,” She said, “Guess you’ll have to go without for the rest of the day.”
I was left standing, gaping open mouthed as Ashley and Emma ran to the edge of the pier laughing, before jumping off. The shouts of the fisherman whose bucket Ashley had stole to drench us, echoed off in the distance as I reluctantly ripped my shirt off and jumped in after them.
As I was submerged in the water, my vision went blacker than ink. I popped up for air, gasping as I surfaced.... but my skin began to rise in Goosebumps as I looked around. The day had suddenly gone overcast and the ocean tossed angrily as I swam my way back to the ladder than climbed onto the pier. I turned around and looked over the water.
I began to panic. Where had everyone gone?
This definitely was not part of the memory...
My eyes scanned the water for some time before a muttered ‘fuck’ escaped my mouth as I spun around to face the rest of the pier.
My whole body froze with the sight before me.
The whole pier was littered with dead bodies... amongst them I spotted a blonde haired figure.
“Ashley, NO!”
I rushed through the piles, not caring who else I stepped on. I dropped to my knees by her slightly and broken figure. Her once golden skin was now pale and her neck sat at an odd angle... puncture marks in her neck...
She was lying in a pool of her own blood.
I clapped a hand to my mouth in horror... only to feel something wet on my hand. I pulled my hand away from my mouth and almost choked when I saw the blood staining it...
It suddenly all clicked.
The blood was everyone’s...
I was responsible for this massacre.
The blood was hers...
I’d killed her.
“No...” I groaned, tears springing in my eyes.
“Mi...key....”
I gasped at the tiny sound that came from Ashley’s throat. Her eyes fluttered open weakly and she raised her hand to grasp at her broken neck.
“Ashley, I’m sorr-”
I paused. Ashley’s desperate hands had started the blood flow again.
My throat and mouth went dry and my vision went red.
My mind screamed no but my body screamed yes.
I latched onto her neck until she moved no more.
Pulling away from the cold dead body of the girl I loved, I let out a gasping sob. I jumped to my knees and set off at an unimaginable speed.
I soon stood at the front door of the manor. I pushed the heavy wooden doors open... only to be confronted by a pale looking Gerard.
He opened his arms and I rushed into them, desperate for comfort of some sort. He hugged my tightly, I felt his soft hands snake their way up to my hair. He leaned in to my ear, his warm breath running down my neck and causing Goosebumps to rise again.
There was another warm breath on my neck as he spoke softly into my ear.
“You’re a killer, Mikey.”
I tensed and an aching pang shot through my heart.
“No-”
“Sshh...” Gerard said soothingly, rubbing my back as he continued to hug me tightly, “This is who you are. You can’t change it now, sugar. You’re in the dark. You’re a monster”
I wanted to fight against his words, but I couldn’t help it.... I closed my eyes as he pulled me tighter into a soothing hug. I gave into it...
I sat up screaming on the bed and the pain hit me like a bullet train. I tried to shake off the pain as it hit another area of my body. It was useless but I didn’t know what else to do...
Eventually the time between pain, the memories, the nightmares, the cracking bones began to blur. My mind began to soon block everything as it occurred to me.
Where was I?
I tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t. I whimpered in frustration and every now and again I felt a hand on me. The needles exploded under my skin but I didn’t mind. It was reassurance someone was there as my body raged with itself.
I lost sense of time, place, self... I endured the waking moments, and I waited for the dreams... for at least I could escape the pain in them... no matter how many times I saw myself with the blood of my family and friends on my hands.
Occasionally I picked up noises from around me. The voices of people talking quietly, Gerard talking quietly, someone playing Bass, the chiming of the grandfather clock in the hall, Gerard talking to me...
I don’t know how much time passed but all I knew was that Gerard was there the whole time...I could just help. I could feel others come and go by I knew my big brother was by my side.
So when one of my dreams had resulted in Gerard dying and I had felt him at a further distance away than usual when I woke, I had panicked and woke up screaming for him. The pain shot through in the biggest tidal wave I’d experience so far and when he reached my bed I grabbed the collar of his short and begged for some relief. I begged for him to kill me. I begged because I couldn’t focus on anything else.
I needed this pain to end.
I heard Gerards voice as he desperately tried to sooth me but I did no good. I needed to-
The blackness overwhelmed me once again. If I could I would have sighed in relief at that moment. My mind swirled around and I waited for the dreams to start, panic shot through me. Where was Gerard? He wasn’t near me. He couldn’t have left, he-
I opened my eyes and was standing at the window at the end of the hallway. It faced the front of the house and spanned from the ceiling to the floor, wall to wall. I pressed my hand to the glass, the outside sky reflecting grey light through the window. After a moment I pulled my hand away but gasped sharply as I saw my hand was covered with blood.
The glass in the window shattered and suddenly there was a very human shaped hole bordered by jagged bloody shards of glass. I tried to control my breathing as I cautiously took a step forward, glass crunching underfoot and making me cringe. I stuck my head out through the gap and, taking a deep breath, looked down.
I recoiled with a gasp as I saw the bodies below, mangled and bloody from the fall...
[i]Gerard.
Mom.
Dad.[/i]
I couldn’t even force a breath through my lungs in that moment. That ability had evaded me from the moment I’d looked down.
“No...” I muttered, falling to the floor, “No, I...”
A cloaked figure stood before me, in the frame of the broken window. It was raining down in sheets behind it and the wind was blowing violently. However, the hood didn’t move. I couldn’t see the figures face.
“They’re holding you back. You can be great without them. You’re not one of them and deep down you know it.”
I blinked hard against the tears that escaped before I jumped to my feet and screamed.
“NO!”
Growls escaped my mouth in a long stream but were cut off with a choking noise as pale long fingers gripped my throat. The figures hands were as cold as ice.
“You shall find him. You shall never have him.”
Something itched at my throat, actually several things itched at my throat... but the figures choking grip against my throat prevented me from moving to see what it was. I began to panic against the lack of air and my hands flew up to claw against the figures grip. He hissed and let my drop to the ground with a [i] thump.[/i] I reached up and moved to itch at my throat and face.
A beetle dropped to the ground as I ran my nails across my face.
“What...”
I panicked and began swiping at my face. Beetles dropped as I moved my hands desperately, but they were always replaced with others.
Fuck.
Fuck, there was beetles crawling over my [i]face.[/i]
I began to scream in earnest as I clawed at my face, trying to destroy the endless stream of bugs crawling over me.
I rolled over and I struggled and accidentally smacked my head on the ground.
The blackness blinked for a second before I returned to reality. My body was once more emerged in the pain. I screamed and clawed at my face. The bugs were [i]still there.[/i]
I couldn’t see them but I could feel them.
There was a shout from in the room. I felt hands trying to pull my hands away from my face and I struggled. NO! I NEEDED TO GET RID OF THEM.
NO.
I screamed and thrashed at those trying to restrain me. The pain surging through my body made it difficult to fight but by god, did I try.
My strength seemed to wain but I calmed a bit as I no longer felt the beetles crawling all over me. My heart beat slowed from its marathon run.
The pain continued but I lay still and silent. Screaming did no good so I didn’t bother unless it gave a particularly painful surge. I lay on my bed in a semi comatose state. All the while trying to will away the pain that still consumed almost my every thought.
That’s when I felt it.
Gerard was near... and I felt him getting closer. I almost smiled through the pain and calmed further when I actually heard him enter. I listened to him speak over the sound of Lindsey quietly plucking at a Bass. I didn’t quite hear the conversation as another surge of pain shot through me. I began to grow angry, frustrated... I’d had enough of this.
My throat burned.
I really needed this to en-
[i] “Hey Gerard, It’s Ashley. Where’s Mikey.” [/i]
That voice.
Ashley.
A whole range of emotions shot through me then. The burning in my throat rose to a new level of pain and before I knew what happening I had opened my eyes and the only thought in my head was kill and destroy [i]anyone[/i] that got near her. Anyone in this room that tried to stop me getting near her.
I lunged towards the person closest to me and both Ray and I crashed to the floor. My whole mind saw red and I snapped at Ray, latching onto his neck... but before I could bite he ripped me off with phenomenal strength and I fell back to the ground. My head crashed against the floor and I felt a horrible searing pain shoot throughout my back accompanied by a crack. I let out a screamed so raw and high pitched I felt like my throat had been cut. Despite an obvious fracture in my spine I spun over and once again tried to lunge at the person in my way. I had to kill them. I NEEDED to kill them. Ray let out a shout of surprise as he saw me still moving and he once again pinned me to the ground with a crash. I groaned and the pain overwhelmed me but it only caused my rage to grow. People were IN MY WAY! I struggled against the various people that tried to hold me back, several growls of frustration and pure undiluted rage escaped me. I needed to bite. I needed to tear. I needed to see the light leave someone’s eyes.
I needed to kill. I had to.
But people were pinning me to my bed and my strength began to wane again. Soon I was too tired to even growl and the blackness swamped me.
But it only brought more blood, rage and horror. The nightmares were soon turning all my favourite memories into horror stories... I descended out of the nightmare but I was still somewhat in the blackness, the images still flashing in front of my eyes. I wanted them to go, I needed to-
A hand, Gerard’s hand, touched my forehead. I could feel it, even in the semi-blackness... and suddenly the flashes of then nightmare stopped and I just lay in the shallow blackness. The full pain hadn’t returned but neither had the nightmares. It was peaceful here. I wished I could stay here. I could deal with the slight pain.
The shallow blackness carried me like a wave.

~~

I lashed out again. Gerard was [i]too [/i] far away for my liking. I screamed and lashed out at those near me and-
I smelt blood.
I heard Gerard hiss and suddenly I felt horrible.
I’d hurt him.
I’d hurt my big brother.
I cried out in guilt but another wave of ice turned it into a scream of pain.
I breathed hard, desperately trying to suck air into my suddenly deprived lungs. I lost track of time but the insides of me began to bubble. I felt like I’d skulled a gallon on boiling hot tea and it refused to cool as it entered my system. My breathing grew harder and harder.
I heard my brother shout out names.
I arched my back at white blinding heat shot through my entire being. Everything was amplified by a thousand.
The bubbling reached my head and I felt like my head was splitting open. My jaw began to ache like mad and a sharp pressure pressed against my gums, like they were being penetrated by a hundred needles all at once. I reached up; hoping to claw away the source of aching pain, like it would do any good.
I felt a stabbing pain and my clawing fingers connected with long sharp fangs.
I gasped and anger swelled in me. Hunger shot through my vision and I fangs, my new glistening, aching fangs were itching to sink into something hot and wet. Something was holding me down. I growled in warning and when the hands didn’t release I struggled so violently that I broke free and collided with a body. I heard the swoosh of air and then a crash of a body colliding with furniture.
People should know not to get in my way.
More hands grabbed me and I grew angrier. They were [i]idiots[/i]. I growled and spat in warning but they just held down tighter. So I struggled harder. The pain was overwhelming and the anger was throwing me over the edge. I knew I was losing control and the human part of me was terrified.
“Mikey,” Gerard cried in frustration. His voice brought me sharply back to the reality of him.
I flicked my eye’s over to him. His face was a mixture of horror, frustration, worry and anger. It hit me right in the chest and I felt tears escape my eyes. I can’t take this.
“Gerard,” I struggled with my voice. My throat was dry from the screaming but I force it to work, “Make it-”
But my plea for relief was cut as I felt a horrible stabbing, tearing sensation rip through my torso and heart. The pain was so violent that my body flipped of its own accord and I was met with the softness of my mattress. Anger flared in me creating a deadly cocktail with the pain. I clawed at the barrier in front of me as my anger and bloodlust hit full throttle. Though it was a measly mattress it still felt good to be tearing [i]something [/i].
After a while, I’d reached the bed frame. I was so caught up in my destruction that I almost flipped out when I suddenly arms, Gerards arm, lift me up from my destruction platform. I felt so calm when he held me. The pain dulled and I wished that he’d hold me for the rest of the change. However long this nightmare would last.
Gerard placed me down once more on what felt like floor. I scrambled in horror as his touch left my body. A scream of terror escaping my mouth.
No.
Come back.
Dull the pain.
Don’t leave me alone.
“Gerard,” Mrs Reeves voice caught my ears, “Pick him up again.”
Yes.
Please.
I felt Gerard’s arms enclose me and he pulled me into his lap. I curled up to him, as if every inch of me that was touching him helped dull the pain further. The pain was still there, and sometimes it flared up. I felt drowsy and felt myself calming further, despite the continued tossing and turning. I was trying to shake off the last bit of pain so I could sleep. It wasn’t working.
I felt Gerard’s hand brushed back the hair on my forehead. His touch sent another stream of calm through me. I blinked up at him before my eyes grew heavy and the blackness swallowed me again.

I was in a snowy forest and pure white girls sat in the trees, staring down at me as I walked amongst the trees. The wind grew colder as I walked and suddenly the girls began to sing. The song was a lullaby and i swear I’d heard it before. But their version was twisted, dark, and cold. I shivered as the lullaby penetrated me, goose bumps rising on my skin. I continued forward on my snowy path and tried to block out the melancholy tune.
Bright Sunlight suddenly appeared on the path ahead of me. I rushed towards the source of heat and suddenly I was lying on the ground. But I could only see above me the cream ceiling above me. I was caught in a tunnel vision.
A brown eyed face appeared above me. She was a woman with curly golden brown hair that hung very long. She smiled down warmly at me and I felt my heart swell and tears roll down my cheeks. She continued to smile down at me, speaking silent words that I so desperately wanted to hear. I watched her, memorised for some time as she seemed to hold a conversation with me. It was broken occasionally by her laughing or turning around to face someone out of the shot.
She blinked and turned away, a smile on her face.
There was a flash of lightening and the woman was gone.

The vision faded and I lay there in the blackness. I knew that tears were welling in my eyes even know I couldn’t feel it.
What the hell was that?
Who was she?
Why was I crying?
The blackness left me in a sudden shocking gush. I woke up gasping for air, my body jerking so violently with a spasm of pain that I rolled right off Gerard’s lap and onto the floor. My head echoed loudly as it cracked against the floor; but I barely felt it.
I lost sense of what my body was doing as in one whole second my entire body filled with piercing ice. There was not one atom that was left untouched.
My whole mind went blank with pure shock for a second before a thousand large sharps snaps and gasps and stabs rolled from my mouth and spine.
All I could do was feel it. I think i screamed but the clicking of my bones, the ice and very soon the burn in my throat became all I was strong enough to concentrate on.
I desperately searched for Gerard’s calming presence amongst this onslaught but was pulled away when all of a sudden. All pain left my body.
I breathed out a sigh of relief.
Then my throat burst into flames.
I ripped my eyes open and searched for my brother. I found him right beside me. I gripped his hand so tight and tried to convey my feelings.
“Gerard... My-my... throat.”
My strength gave out then, and I fell to the floor.
The grandfather clock chiming was the last sound that I took in before actual blissful unconsciousness overtook me.

~~

[i] “Give him blood!” [/i]
Out of the blackness my taste and touch flew to life. There was a taste in my mouth... something that I craved desperately. My throat burned and I felt a rough but familiar hand massage my throat. I forced my muscles to move and almost let out a groan as the liquid slid down my throat. I could feel it’s every movement as it travelled through my body. It hit my stomach and a surge of energy shot through my body like a firework. My body began to awake more and as more of the delicious liquid was pooled into my mouth. As I awoke more I realised that my new body felt strange... not a bad strange, but a good strange. I wasn’t even fully awake yet but I could feel a crazy amount of strength rippling through my muscles and bones. I took in a deep breath and smelt everything. I knew instantly that there were four people in this room. Gerard was one of them.
I snapped my eyes open and sat up.
My throat ached... and now I knew what for.
Mrs Reeves, Lindsey, Ray and Gerard were sitting next to me on the floor. I turned and snatched up Gerard’s hand, squeezing it tightly.
“My throat... blood... I need blood...”
Gerard handed a blood bag without speaking. I didn’t even bother unscrewing it. I sunk my fangs into the bag and drained it in under a minute.
I worked my way through another two bags before my throat’s burn was completely sated.
“Mikey,” Gerard said hesitantly, “It’s over now, ok? No pain anymore.”
I turned to him and blinked... I could remember everything from the change as clear as a bell... but it was just that now. It was only a memory.
“It’s over...” I whispered my throat surprisingly in working order, thanks to the blood.
I had drunk blood.
I was a vampire.
Oh my fucking god.
“I’m a vampire now...” I said slowly.
“You were always a vampire. Your gene is with you from birth,” Gerard replied.
“I know, but-”
My sentence was cut off as Gerard wrapped me in a tight hug. His hugs had never felt as good as they did now.
Ok, so I’m now a full vampire. And I drink blood and crap... that was pretty scary. But Gerard would be here to help me.
Gerard still clung to me tightly.
“Ah, Gerard...”
“Yeah, Mikes?”
“Can I...”
I hesitated and Gerard pulled out of the hug. He raised an eyebrow.
“What is it?”
My throat had unbelievably began to burn again... despite the fact I’d downed like three and a half blood bags like ten minutes ago.
“Can i have some more blood?”
I heard Lindsey snicker and walk into my ensuite. She returned with a couple more blood bag. I took them gratefully. As I drank, a thought struck me.
“Gerard, what day is it?”
Gerard paused, “The change took 24 hours, bro. It’s 3am on the day after your birthday.”
Shock and horror fluttered through me.
“FUUC K.”
Gerard’s eyebrows furrowed.
“What’s wrong?”
“I MISSED THE PARTY.”
“It’s just a party, dude. I’m sure Ashley will-”
“NO. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HAD PLANNED FOR THAT PARTY,” I exclaimed. I wrung my hands together and jumped to my feet. I paced the room. Fuck. Golden opportunity fucking [i]wasted[/i].
As I fretted Ray, Lindsey and Mrs Reeves casually left the room.
“What are you on about?”
“I WAS GOING TO ASK ASHLEY OUT AT THAT PARTY AND I DIDN’T GO. FUCK,” I slammed my fist into the wall in frustration. Woah, anger management issues there, Mikey!
The wall, now with a hole almost the perfect shape of my fist in it, seemed to agree.
The double brick wall, may I add.
“MIKEY. CALM THE FUCK DOWN.”
“NO! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS FUCKING HAPPENED. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”
Gerard laughed.
“How the fuck is this my fault.”
“I DON’T KNOW. BUT IT IS.”
Gerard sighed.
“It is not my fault. Things will be fine, ok?”
“But... Ashley-”
“I really don’t think she’ll give you the flick just because of this. I mean, she was calling all morning yesterday.”
I blinked.
“[i]WHAT?[/i]”
”Yeah... and about that,” Gerard paused,”You can’t be around your human friends for a while. Just until you get a hold of yourself.”
“But – All my friends are human!”
“Frank’s not.”
Ok, that was a small mercy. At least I’d have my best friend by my side as well.
“But what about Ashley and-”
“Not until you’re in control of yourself. The way you feel for her Mikey makes it so unpredictable about how you’ll act around her.”
“I am in control of myself,” I gritted out between clenched teeth.
“Sure, sure,” Gerard replied, “You’re in control of all the overwhelmingly heightened senses and desires and urges after fifteen minutes? Ha.”
“But, I-”
Gerard walked over and put a hand on my shoulder comfortingly.
“I’ll call Frank, ask if he can come over in the next few days, ok? Now you should have a shower and get changed. You can meet me downstairs when you’re done.”
I growled out low and long and began undressing as I walked to my ensuite. I slammed the door shut behind me.
It wasn't until a minute later that Gerard left my room.

Notes

[b]Author's Notes:[i] Jay and Ash[/b][/i]

Poor Mikes :(